


The Sun with A False Eternity

by Eliza_Katt



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Illnesses, It's a kinda happy ending though, Loss, M/M, Major Illness, Sad, Sad Ending, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Sports, Teenagers, Terminal Illnesses, You can hate me if you want lol, lol no not really, seriously slow build up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 59,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28601469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliza_Katt/pseuds/Eliza_Katt
Summary: Kageyama Tobio learned as a small child that no matter how dark the world got, the sun never fully went away. So despite everything that happened to him growing up, he clung onto the hope that there would still be a better tomorrow.Eventually he had found himself face to face with someone who made his world brighter. The setter had hated Hinata Shouyou when they first met, but soon enough they had become friends through their mutual love of volleyball.Lately things had been happening with Hinata that nobody would explain. Strange conversations, mysterious phone calls, and missed practices. Kageyama couldn't help but worry.Had he been lied to?Was the person who was the sun in his life going to leave him all alone?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 27
Kudos: 53





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! Thank you for stopping by!! I really hope you enjoy the story, I poured my heart into it. You seriously do not know how many hours went into writing this.  
>  I haven't written seriously in years, so don't mind if my writing is a bit rusty. I hope that any stories I put out in the future will have a little bit higher quality than this one though haha-  
> 
> 
> This story should now be fully edited, so if there are any errors that you find please let me know!  
>  Another note is, though I tried my best, not everything is going to fall into the cannon time line. I re-watched so many episodes, trying to make sure all of the dates lined up, but there's bound to be a mistake somewhere.  
> 
> 
> Anyway, I figured I should let you know that this fan fiction does contain series spoilers from Haikyuu!! From season one, all the way through season four. There's even some spoilers relating to Kageyama's backstory, which hasn't been animated at the time of writing this. Read at your own risk.  
> 
> 
> Also, I would greatly appreciate if you share this once you're finished with it. It's hard to get the word about things like this out, and I would love if you could help with that :)  
> 
> 
> Now I won't hold you back any longer, enjoy the story!! (If you can even enjoy something that's a painful read lol, seriously- I teared up so many times while writing this) I'll see you when you finish, and good luck!! 

“What do you think is going to happen… When it’s all over?”

A fall breeze blew past, providing a chilly yet comforting atmosphere. The sky was still light, though before long the sun would begin to droop, signifying the end of the September day. 

“What do you mean?” Hinata asked, and Kageyama watched as his friend set down the handful of dead leaves he had been holding. Kageyama averted his eyes and stared out to the distance, leaning back on his hands. He felt a few leaves crunch as he scooted his legs ever so slightly closer to his chest.

“I mean… We won’t be on Karasuno forever,” the setter thought aloud, simply musing over the idea. “Sure, we’re still first years, but the third years will be graduating soon. Soon enough we’ll replace them, and then after that, we’ll move on too.” Hinata went quiet for a few moments as if pondering his response to the statement.

“I can’t say… I’ve ever really thought about it,” Hinata picked up a few more dead plants and tore them all in half before continuing. “I don’t like to think about it. I like the way things are now. All I know is that... I want to keep playing volleyball. As long as I can, I want to stay on the court. Whether that’s on Karasuno or some big league team, I want to keep playing. That’s what matters to me.” Kageyama couldn’t say that Hinata’s answer surprised him. The ginger had always been so motivated, always striving to be the best. Kageyama did not doubt that the other boy was going to make it big someday.

“I guess I’m just not ready for everything to change,” Kageyama admitted. In response his friend simply flashed him a small smile, and a sympathetic look. Kageyama felt better instantly. Hinata had always been a fun person to hang out with, though the thought pained the dark-haired male. Hinata was energetic, rambunctious, and loud. But he also cared, and his passion was almost completely unmatched. “Everything has been going so well lately. Our team is better than ever. I don’t know if I’m ready for that all to end.”

“I get what you mean,” Hinata sighed. “Our team is so cool! I’ve never been a part of anything like it. I don’t want to give it up. I’m excited to see what happens next though.”

Kageyama nodded, then watched as Hinata pulled out a small phone from his pocket. The middle blocker flipped it open and then let out a groan. “I’ve got to go, my mom wants me home for dinner. See you at practice tomorrow?” He stood up and dusted himself off, little bits of nature scattering and falling to the ground. 

“Of course,” Kageyama stood up as well. He waved goodbye to Hinata who had already begun to jog down the hill, stretching his short legs out as far as they could go. 

Kageyama knew he and Hinata were similar in their love for volleyball. It’s what brought them together. From the game in middle school to joining Karasuno, to every game and practice since volleyball is how they had become a team.

_ What a dumbass, _ Kageyama thought, slowly beginning his descent down the hill and back to his house. The sunset was causing all the shadows to shift, and the wind was picking up speed. 

The setter stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked. 

Sure, Hinata was an idiot, but he was also Kageyama’s friend. They had already been through so much together, and Kageyama had to admit that he was looking forward to making more memories with his friend. 

\----

“I’m home!” Kageyama called into his house, opening the door. He instantly retreated to his room, setting down his stuff in the corner. He knew he should probably pull out his homework, but he didn’t feel like it. So against his better judgment, he left it in his bag and walked over to his bed. He sat on the edge, the mattress squeaking so quietly he could hardly hear it. 

He picked up the volleyball he had left on his pillow that morning and began to fidget with it, setting it to himself. The slight sting of the ball as it rhythmically hit his hand calmed him, and he continued doing it for a while before flopping back. As his head hit the soft fabric of his pillowcase he thought back on his conversation with Hinata from earlier.

_ God that kid is so hopelessly positive, it’s annoying, _ he sighed and stared up at his ceiling. Kageyama supposed that Hinata was right though, there wasn’t a point in being constantly worried about what came next. 

Confident in the thought, the boy reached over and flicked his lamp off, sealing his room into darkness. He didn’t even bother to change out of his clothes before he fell asleep. 

\----

“Morning you two!” The vice-captain of the team, Sugawara, greeted as both Hinata and Kageyama raced around the corner to the gym the next morning. Kageyama heard the third year laugh as the two of them skidded to a halt, kicking up dust next to the path.

“I… Won… Again,” Kageyama, hunched over, completely out of breath. Hinata just glared at him, too busy trying to regain his composure to speak. Kageyama stuck his tongue out at the other first year as he stood up and stretched.

“Glad you’re here on time,” Sugawara said sarcastically when they had recovered, checking his watch. Kageyama pulled out his phone only to discover that they were not on time, but fifteen minutes early. “Cmon I’ve got the key. I had a sneaking suspicion that you guys were going to show up early again.” 

“It’s not exactly a suspicion when they do it nearly every day,” a new voice spoke from behind them. Kageyama whipped his head around to see the team captain walking up with a yawn. “Morning guys,” he greeted as he grabbed the key out of Sugawara’s outstretched hand. 

“Daichi! Why are you here?” Kageyama heard Hinata ask, the energetic boy bounding up to the gym door and impatiently waiting for the third year to open it. 

“I just figured that if members of my team were showing up for practice that it’s my duty as your captain to make sure that I’m there as well,” he flashed them all a smile before flicking the lights on. “Now you came here to practice, right? What are you waiting for?”

Fifteen minutes later, all four boys were sweating. Kageyama grabbed his water bottle and lifted it, feeling the cold liquid fill up his mouth. He swallowed it slowly, using his arm to wipe off his forehead. Just as he was about to head back onto the court, the gym door opened. Kageyama looked over to see Coach Ukai standing in the entrance, frozen in place for a brief second. The adult blinked, then shook his head and smiled. 

“Got an early start today eh?” He stepped into the gym and set his stuff down by a chair. 

“Yes sir,” Kageyama turned his head back towards the court began jogging over to where Hinata was standing. He picked up one of the volleyballs on the floor and paused for a second before tossing it to Sugawara.

“Can you throw this so I can set it to Hinata?” He asked the third year, who caught it and got into position. Kageyama watched as Hinata’s eyes widened in excitement and the boy ran his tongue over the top row of his teeth in anticipation. Kageyama signaled to the third year that they were ready. Sugawara threw the ball at a perfect angle, probably thanks to his abilities as a setter. Kageyama didn’t even have to move other than to slightly switch his footing. He quickly measured the distance between him and Hinata in his mind, and when the ball was at precisely the right place he set it towards the small ginger, relishing the sting of the ball in his palms and fingertips that he had grown to love so much.

Hinata raced forward right up to where the ball was and adjusted his feet. It was so fast that someone unaccustomed to working with the bright-haired first year would never notice. The middle blocker leaped off the ground with the power only he knew how to use and connected with the ball, slamming it down to the other side of the court with perfect accuracy. 

“All right!” Hinata cried in excitement. He rushed over to Kageyama and held his hands up for a high-five. The setter hesitated for a moment before awkwardly returning it, smiling slightly, though he knew from experience that it probably looked like a grimace to the others.

“Just as awesome as ever you two,” another new voice called from the entrance. Kageyama looked up to see Ennoshita standing there, who waved before going to add his stuff to the rest. 

Before long the rest of the team arrived, and within minutes the gym became filled with the loud sounds of volleyballs connecting with skin and slamming into the floor, cheers echoing around the room. Coach Ukai would occasionally shout something, and there was the quiet chat of the teammates getting a drink or standing off to the side. 

By the time practice was over, everyone was sweating. 

Kageyama quickly left to change into his uniform for school. Though by the time he got back, there were still voices echoing in the gym, and Kageyama peaked in curiously to see who still lingered. 

The first person he spotted was Kiyoko, who was in the corner wiping up some spilled water with a rag. However that wasn’t where the voices were coming from, and so he continued his search until he found the source of the noise. Hinata stood near the scoreboard, his back to the entrance, talking rapidly with lots of hand motions. Coach Ukai and Takeda listened with serious expressions on their faces. Takeda said something and Coach Ukai nodded, and Hinata let his shoulders drop. 

_ What’s going on?,  _ Kageyama thought, only slightly concerned. He was too far away to make out what they were saying, and so it was all just left up to speculation. 

“What’re you doing?” Someone called from behind Kageyama, causing him to jump. He shifted around to see Ennoshita standing there, now in his school uniform, looking slightly puzzled. 

“I was uhh… Looking for Hinata,” he stuttered out, caught off guard. The answer wasn’t completely false, he  _ was  _ wondering where his friend had gone. 

“Ah ok,” Ennoshita gave him a small smile. Something was off about his look, his eyes seemed almost… Teasing. Kageyama brushed it off and looked back into the gym. “He said he wanted to talk to the two of them about something,” Ennoshita continued, peering in slightly as well. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much, probably just some new technique he wants to work on.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama agreed. He couldn’t help but feel that something about it was off, but he couldn’t quite place a finger on it. He shook his head to clear the feeling. When his vision re-focused he saw that Hinata was heading towards him, his usual excited smile upon his face.

“What’s up Kageyama?” Hinata asked when he was close enough. Kageyama felt the back of his neck grow hot, it probably looked like he was trying to listen in on his conversation. He rubbed his head awkwardly, debating on if he should ask Hinata what he was talking to the two adults about. 

_ If he already caught me eavesdropping I might as well, _ he decided, shifting his gaze down.

“So uh… What did you want to talk to the coach and Takeda-Sensei about?” His voice came out as a slight mumble. 

“Oh I just wanted to update them on my new training regimen and ask them for advice on it,” Hinata informed quickly.  _ A little too quickly. _ Kageyama could tell Hinata wasn’t lying, but there must have been more than just that. However if Hinata wasn’t going to tell him, he wasn’t going to push it. 

“Class is about to start guys, what are you doing?” Coach Ukai exclaimed, stepping out of the gym. Takeda and Kiyoko were behind him, Kiyoko still holding her rag and Takeda a clipboard. 

“Oh crap you’re right,” Ennoshita pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time for himself. “I gotta run, see you all at practice later!” He darted off in the direction of the school.

“You two better hurry up!” Takeda smiled at them before lightly jogging towards where Ennoshita had just gone, heading off to teach his class. 

“Sir!” Kageyama heard Hinata call from beside him. He looked over at the small first year, who looked right back and smiled. “Cmon Kageyama we gotta get to class, the sooner class is over the sooner we can get back to practice.” 

\------

_ Ugh finally over, _ Kageyama thought, standing up from his desk and pushing his chair in. Not that he had really paid attention, but the idea of sitting in that classroom for a moment longer made him want to throw something. He was more than ready for practice, and he practically leaped out of the room the first chance he got. 

When Kageyama arrived at the gym, there were only three other people inside. Kiyoko was in the middle setting up the net, Asahi was over in the corner attempting to work on his serves, and Sugawara stood on the court close to the entrance, setting the ball to himself. Kageyama set his water bottle and sweat towel down in the corner where they usually placed them. 

“Are you ready for practice?” Sugawara asked, signifying to Kageyama that he saw him walk up with a glance. Kageyama nodded, looking at the cart full of volleyballs in anticipation. This had become the thing that was most important to him. Before he had nothing. Back in middle school, he was alone. He had volleyball still, but it was different back then. Back then it was him and the volleyball versus everyone else. There was nobody but the king of the court and his “loyal” subjects. 

He would never forget the moment when he realized that he was truly alone. He had never been that smart socially, but he still had fully believed that his teammates wanted the same thing he did. They wanted to win, they wanted the victory. And Kageyama had just been pushing them towards that. He thought his words were encouraging, trying to help them get better. He thought they had realized that. 

_ Bam, _ Kageyama shivered as the ball hit the floor behind him. He had subconsciously picked up a volleyball from the cart and set it, completely lost it thought. But as the ball hit the floor, memories of his past continued to surface. That wasn’t the first time nobody was there to spike his set. His mind whirled as he remembered the darkness that had overwhelmed him at his teammate’s betrayal. The day that a hole had opened up in his heart, the day that a gap was torn between him and everyone else. Though, the more he thought about it, the more he realized the gap had always been there.

_ I had just always failed to notice it, _ Kageyama desperately shook his head, trying to get rid of the thought that threatened to overtake him. He didn’t want to remember, he didn’t want those feelings to come back. He stared and the volleyball that had just hit the ground. It was slowly rolling away towards the gym door. Someone reached down and picked it up, and Kageyama shifted his eyes up to see Hinata, now in his gym clothes, holding the un-spiked volleyball.

“Uh Kageyama? You dropped this,” he teased lightly, water bottle and rag tucked under his arm. He threw the volleyball back towards the setter, who caught it and began walking towards the young teen. 

“Shut up dumbass,” Kageyama rolled his eyes. His mind was still slightly shaken, but having his closest teammate there made him feel more reassured. Hinata set his stuff down, yawning. 

“Class was so boring!” The first year groaned, reaching down to touch his toes. His hair fell in his face in a fluffy pile, covering his eyes from Kageyama’s vision. 

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so boring if you paid attention,” Kinoshita teased, walking over with Nishinoya and Yaichi. The three of them set their stuff down and headed out onto the court, greeting different people or beginning to work on different techniques. 

Everyone was now there, they were just waiting on the coach. Kageyama flashed Hinata a glance and the small boy nodded as if he could read Kageyama’s mind. The two of them rushed the court in sync, and within seconds the ball that Kageyama had been holding was up in the air, being passed back and forth between the two of them. 

“Alright guys I got plans for today,” Coach Ukai called, stepping through the door ten minutes later. Everyone paused what they were doing and looked up, both nervously and with excitement. Kageyama was curious, usually, they did something interesting when Coach Ukai came in with a plan. “We’re gonna play a game with our team. A six-on-six game, there’s enough of you here. Nothing too serious, just a way to test your skills and add in a bit of fun to mix up your usual training.” 

_ A six on six game?  _ Kageyama looked around the room, counting his teammates. Sure enough there were twelve of them there. Their expressions ranged from joy to anxiety. Hinata looked ecstatic, whereas Narita looked tenser than usual. 

“All right!!” Kageyama heard Tanaka cry in excitement. Sugawara laughed, and Kageyama barely registered the sound of Tsukishima sighing. 

“The shop was barely busy today, so I already wrote out the team assignments,” Coach Ukai continued when they had quieted down. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small scrap of paper. “Team one will be Kageyama, Asahi, Narita, Ennoshita, Yamaguchi, and Daichi,” he read off the list. “Team two will be Sugawara, Tanaka, Nishinoya, Kinoshita, Tsukishima, and Hinata. 

_ Huh this seems like an odd match up, _ Kageyama thought through the teams. Usually he and Hinata worked together as a pair, and this was splitting them up.  _ What is the coach thinking? _

“I want to test both your guys’ adaptability and your skills as individuals. Some of you have a person that you work well with, and I want to see how your skills play out without their help.” He looked over at Hinata as if directing that last comment at him. “Alright we don’t got all night, you guys have five minutes to discuss with your teams before we begin,” Coach Ukai finished the announcement and walked over to the scoreboard where he stood to wait. 

Kageyama raced over to where his team for the game was beginning to meet. Daichi was talking rapidly to Yamaguchi, giving him instructions on something. Narita was already there, and Asahi got there about the same time Kageyama did. Ennoshita joined them shortly after. 

“Alright guys,” Daichi began once they were all gathered. “This isn’t like a normal game, we’re up against opponents whose strengths and weaknesses we know, and they know ours,” Kageyama watched as Daichi’s eyes scanned the group, assessing their abilities. “It’ll be difficult for sure, but I have no doubt we can win.” He put a hand on both Yamaguchi and Narita, the two players closest to him. “I want Kageyama, Narita, in the front along with Asahi,” he decided after a brief pause. “Me, Ennoshita, and Yamaguchi will take the back positions as we start.”

“Kageyama will play setter, right?” Narita asked Daichi, as if he was just reassuring himself. Daichi nodded. 

“I know Coach wants us to test our abilities, and I agree with that,” he explained looking directly at Kageyama now. “That being said, we should also focus on training the abilities we’re going to use. So for you Kageyama, this will be a challenge for you to set to people other than you’re used to.” 

_ Narita, Yamaguchi, and Ennoshita will be the biggest variables,  _ he thought, looking at each member in turn.  _ They don’t usually play and I don’t know their strategy styles yet.  _ He turned his gaze to Daichi and Asahi.  _ It’s good to have those two though, I can always rely on them if things get too out of hand.  _

“I can see you’re already working hard,” Daichi tilted his head toward Kageyama with a smile. He then turned his attention to Yamaguchi. “I know you’ve played before, and you do well in practice. That being said, your serve is your strong point. Regardless, this is a chance for you to work on your other skills. I’ll have you serve the first ball, and then after that, I want you to focus on your receives and attacks. I doubt Kageyama will give you anything you can’t hit, and the rest of us are here to back you up, okay?” Yamaguchi swallowed and nodded. It didn’t take a genius to sense that he was nervous. 

_ I'll have to be careful setting to him _ , Kageyama noted in his mind.  _ One wrong move could damage his spirit, hindering his usefulness in the game. _ Kageyama was distracted from his mental ramblings by Daichi’s voice once again:

“Now, you two,” he looked at Narita and Ennoshita in turn. “I know you don’t get many chances to play on the court. Well, this is your time,” he smiled confidently as if attempting to transfer the feeling upon the two second years. Show me what you’re made of.” Ennoshita nodded determinedly and Narita took a deep breath before smiling. 

“Time’s up!” Coach Ukai called out. Kageyama looked up to see the other team getting into place. Tsukishima and Hinata were taking their positions in the front along with Sugawara, and Nishinoya, Kinoshita, and Tanaka made up the back row. Kiyoko and Yaichi sat on the side next to the scoreboard, with “team one” and “team two” written under the scorecards. 

“Let’s win this,” Daichi gave a final statement of encouragement before running to take his place. Kageyama ran up as well, moving swiftly into position on the front right side of the court. He heard his teammates coming up behind him, and he took a look around to see all five of them ready with determined looks on their faces. He nodded, satisfied, before turning his eyes back towards the net. 

The flip of a coin determined that Kageyama’s team would be serving first. The volleyball was passed to Yamaguchi, who fumbled with it and nearly dropped it before he was in place. 

“You’ve got this Yamaguchi,” Kageyama overheard Daichi call as the nervous first year adjusted his footing. 

_ I certainly hope he does.  _

The loud  _ SMACK _ of Yamaguchi’s hand connecting with the ball rebounded off the walls with an echo, and just like that the ball was in play. Yamaguchi’s serve had been excellent, and it nearly hit the ground, earning them a point. Unfortunately, as talented as he was, Nishinoya had received it and sent it back into the air. 

“GET IT KINOSHITA,” he called from the floor. Kageyama kept his eyes on the ball as it soared towards the blonde-haired second year, who stepped forward and hit it as hard as he could. The angle was a bit off, however, and it didn’t go far before falling and colliding with the ground. Tanaka had made a dive to save it, but he missed by just a few centimeters, and the bouncing of the ball could be heard throughout the gym.

“You’ll get it next time,” Kageyama heard the reassuring words from the third-year setter. Within seconds everyone was back in position, and the ball was returned to Yamaguchi once again. Kageyama kept his eyes facing forwards as the first year served, slightly less skillfully this time. Despite that, the ball still soared over the net and was quickly received by Tanaka who sent it soaring to Sugawara.

“Tsukishima!” Sugawara called out in a demanding voice. Kageyama’s gaze shifted to the tall first year who leaned forward in preparation. He was standing right in front of Kageyama, whose mind was turning rapidly.

_ I’ve got to block it, _ he decided, shifting his weight to his back foot so that he was ready to jump. 

Kageyama jumped at about the same time his opposing first year did, and the volleyball slammed off his palm and reverberated back to land on team two’s side of the court. 

Kageyama pounded back onto the floor, not once taking his eyes off the ball. It soared over and Kinoshita quickly received it. Although he hadn’t made it super clean, the ball was back in the air. Nishinoya sent it back to Sugawara, and Kageyama saw him make eye contact with Hinata. 

_ Oh no you don’t,  _ Kageyama thought, signaling to Asahi that Hinata was going to spike the next ball. His prediction was right once again, however this time they weren’t quite able to stop it and the ball slammed into the floor on their side of the court. 

_ Dammit,  _ Kageyama cursed angrily. He turned towards Asahi, about to tell him off when he stopped.  _ No, it’s not his fault. It could’ve happened to anyone. _ He turned away and pressed his lips together instead, trying to keep his cool.  _ We’ll get the next one. _

\-----------

Twenty minutes later, the teams were still fairly evenly matched. Kageyama’s team was two points ahead, and the scoreboard read  _ 16-18. _ Both teams were sweating, a few of the members who were less accustomed were completely out of breath. 

“Keep it up you guys” Coach Ukai called from the side lines as the team Hinata was on scored another point. 

_ This really was a good idea,  _ Kageyama forced himself to admit. He looked around at his teammates who all looked exhausted but excited. Everyone was stepping outside of their comfort zones and it had been going surprisingly well. He snapped himself out of his thoughts when he saw a serve from Tsukishima heading right towards him. He received it with ease, the stinging in his forearms satisfying him. Serving had never been the edgy blonde’s strong suit, and he had nearly sent it right into Kageyama’s arms. The ball soared towards Narita, who had rotated around and was in the front again. Narita spiked it with an unusual talent and it soared over the net, narrowly avoiding Hinata’s block. Kageyama watched as Nishnoya received it with ease, however, and within seconds the ball had almost made it back to Sugawara. 

_ Who’s he going to send it to, Hinata or Tsukishima?”  _ Kageyama asked himself, watching as the ball landed in Sugawara’s palms. Even though the setter wasn’t in the starting lineup, he had skill. Before Kageyama could even register what was happening, Hinata’s hand connected with the ball and slammed down on the court. Ennoshita and Daichi had both dived to save it, but it bounced and rolled away, earning the opposing team a point. 

“ALL RIGHT!” He heard Kinnoshita exclaim in excitement. Tanaka joined in the cheering as well, and Kageyama could hear Sugawara laughing. 

_ Shit, _ Kageyama groaned. The score was now tied. 

“Hinata? Is everything okay?” Takeda call from the edge of the court, worry creeping into his voice. Kageyama looked up from his frustration in confusion. The small first year was hunched over, a pained expression on his face. He was breathing heavily and his legs looked slightly weak. 

_ What happened?  _ It was taking everything in him not to race over and pull Hinata up, inspecting him personally.  _ Maybe he landed wrong after that spike, _ Kageyama tried to calm his worries. He stood there, fighting off the panic that was crawling up his throat as Hinata didn’t look up.

Takeda set down his clipboard and rushed over, kneeling in front of the ginger, looking up to his face. Coach Ukai followed and pushed Hinata’s teammates, who were beginning to crowd around him, back. There was some whispering that Kageyama couldn’t quite make out before Hinata slowly stood up. Kageyama blanched at the expression on his face. He looked completely drained and worn out, more than the game should have caused. His eyes looked duller than usual and when he spoke to Takeda his mouth shook slightly. 

“I’m okay,” Kageyama finally heard Hinata say. He spoke forcefully as if trying to make sure there was no room for doubt. He watched as his friend shook his head roughly and gave a small smile. “I just didn’t eat enough for lunch today and I guess that caught up to me.”

“If that’s all,” Sugawara said, stepping forward past Coach Ukai’s blocking and looking up and down at the small middle blocker. “But maybe you should sit out for a little while, just until you get your strength back.” Kageyama saw Hinata about to open his mouth in protest but Coach Ukai cut him off. 

“No I agree with Sugawara,” he placed a hand on Hinata’s back, leading him over to the sidelines. “You need to rest,” Kageyama swore he saw something flash between them as Coach Ukai spoke. Something said in that glance caused Hinata to back down. The first year nodded sadly and walked over to where he kept his water, still looking slightly shaken. 

_ What was that all about?  _ Kageyama wondered, still on edge. He could verify that Hinata had not eaten that much for lunch,  _ but would that really mess him up that badly? _ Kagyama couldn’t figure out the answer to that. 

“So uh.. Now we’re kind of unevenly matched,” Ennoshita noted, looking around at the people left. Everyone looked around in confusion, thoughts of the game had been momentarily forgotten. 

“I’ll step out,” Daichi volunteered. Kageyama whipped his head around to look at the team captain. “I’m one of the most experienced players here, and you’re used to having me as your captain. It’s time to see how you guys work without me,” he smiled as he said it, but the mood was off. But Kageyama saw Sugawara nod, eyes locked with Daichi.

“That settles that then,” Sugawara concluded as the other third-year stepped off the court. Kageyama’s eyes followed the captain as he walked over to where Hinata, Takeda, and Coach Ukai gathered in the corner. He saw Daichi bend down and begin conversing with them, though they were too far away for anyone to hear. Kageyama peeled his eyes away and looked at his remaining teammates. 

The atmosphere had shifted from the high energy that it had been before, to a somber one. Everyone looked tenser than usual. 

“C'mon guys, we’ve got a game to play!” Sugawara spoke excitedly, in a seeming attempt to up the mood. “Nothing good is going to come from worrying now, so let’s play our best. Don’t think we’re gonna go any easier on you now that you’re missing your captain,” the setter winked at Kageyama’s team and then returned to his position on the court. 

Everyone seemed to snap back into place, and in just a few minutes the game was on. The gym was once again filled with the sounds of screeching shoes and volleyballs making contact with hands, forearms, and the floor. Though the air was still heavier than it had been before the pause, everyone moved back into a rhythm quickly. Kageyama took a deep breath and emerged himself back into the game he loved so much. 

\----

_ We lost, _ Kageyama looked down in defeat. They had played a tough game, but in the end the opposing team had beaten them. He had gotten confident when they had taken the first set, but soon enough the other team had taken the second, and then the third. 

“Good game guys,” Narita looked around at all of them, his mouth curved up in a small smile. Kageyama couldn’t miss the disappointment on his face however, he was sure it matched his own.

“Come over here,” Kageyama turned his head to see Ennoshita waving them all over. He joined the group curiously, wondering what the second year was up to. “I agree with Narita,” Ennoshita began once they were all gathered, and he nodded towards his friend. “You all played an amazing game and I couldn’t be more proud.” The wing spiker's eyes swept over the small team, pausing on each of them in turn. 

“But… We lost,” someone voiced what Kageyama currently thought. Yamaguchi's eyes were wide as if he had spoken without thinking. Kageyama heard Ennoshita sigh slightly. 

“We did,” Ennoshita agreed, meeting Yamaguchi’s gaze. “We did. But it was a tough game, and we all did well. We put up a strong fight, and I’m sure we improved so many of our abilities, which was the point of this exercise,” Kageyama watched as he looked at each of them again. “But I mean it when I say I couldn’t be more proud of you all. You’re all very skilled players, and you’ve come so far. We’ll get the next one alright?” He locked eyes with Kageyama who silently moved his head in agreement. 

_ There won’t be another one like this, _ he argued with Ennoshita in his head.  _ This was our chance.  _ He knew the game didn’t really matter, after all it was just practice. That was logical. But the emotional side of him couldn’t help being upset. He had wanted to win. He looked around his small team and saw them all looking more reassured after Ennoshita’s small speech. Yamaguchi looked relieved but still slightly torn.

Kageyama knew they all handled loss differently, and Ennoshita must have known that as well. Kageyama watched as the second year pulled Asahi and Narita to the side, instructing them on something.

“You think Hinata is okay?” Someone asked from beside Kageyama. Yamaguchi stood there awkwardly, looking concerned. 

_ Hinata. _ Kageyama looked over to where the small teenager was sitting. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he felt worried. He had been distracted in the game ever since his friend had stepped out, continually casting worried glances over to where Hinata was resting. 

_ Maybe that’s why we lost _ . He left Yamaguchi, whose question was still unanswered, and walked over to where the first year was sitting. The teen was on the floor, back up to the wall, sitting beside Coach Ukai’s chair. He was talking rapidly to the coach, his eyes wide and excited. The color had come back to his face and he looked so much more like the Hinata that Kageyama remembered. 

“Hey,” he mumbled as he approached. Hinata stopped mid-sentence and looked up instantly. 

“Great game Kageyama!” He exclaimed looking excitedly at the setter. “You guys were so close!” Kageyama didn't give a response to the statement. He didn't feel like talking about the game. 

“Uhh… How are you?” He asked sheepishly. He caught Hinata looking slightly annoyed as he averted his eyes. 

“I’m perfectly fine now, see?” Kageyama saw a flash in the corner of his eye as the older boy jumped up to demonstrate. 

“I don’t think you should-” came the voice of Coach Ukai, but he was quickly interrupted by Hinata:

“I told you it’s fine,” he said, on his feet now. Kageyama looked up to see Hinata and Coach Ukai staring at each other, it was borderline glaring. Takeda and Daichi looked on in concern, and Yaichi peered over Kiyoko's shoulder in confusion. The air seemed tight, and Kageyama could tell that even the players who weren’t standing near could tell that something was going on.

“Hinata,” Daichi began, standing up and walking over. He placed a hand on Hinata’s shoulder and spoke in a calm voice, though Kageyama could tell the third year was certain about what he was going to say. 

“I said it’s FINE,” Hinata brushed off the captain, stepped back a few times, and took a deep breath. He spoke more forcefully than Kageyama had ever heard him before, and his voice cracked halfway through his statement. Hinata shifted his eyes away and walked off, not taking any further arguments. 

“Sorry guys,” Dachi sighed when Hinata was out of earshot. “I shouldn’t have interfered. I’m just... You know,” he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. Kageyama watched as Takeda nodded understandingly. 

“I know, we all are,” Takeda comforted. The teacher and Coach Ukai shared a look, and a mutual thought seemed to pass between them. Suddenly Takeda looked up as if just noticing that Kageyama was standing there. He did a double-take and then turned towards him, almost nervously. 

“What’s going on?” Kageyama asked. 

_ I’m not stupid, clearly there’s something they aren’t telling me. _ He met Takeda’s gaze, determined to get to the bottom of whatever was happening. 

“Look Kageyama, I know you’re worried but we need to leave Hinata alone for now. He’s had a rough day.” The teacher spoke quietly, peering over Kageyama’s shoulder as if checking to make sure Hinata couldn’t hear him.

_ He has? _ Kageyama looked at Takeda, confused. Sure he had complained about classes and sitting out for most of the game must’ve sucked, but it wasn't that bad. Against his will, the setter shrugged and decided to drop it. If it was important, Hinata would tell him.  _ Right? _

\----

“Goodmorning Kageyama!” Someone called the next day. Kageyama turned to see Hinata running towards him, as bright and cheerful as ever. The tall first yea stared into the amber eyes of the small ginger and his nerves instantly settled.

“Morning dumbass,” Kageyama responded with a yawn. They were once again heading to practice early, eager to get as much work in as they could before the next real game. While it was still pretty far away, they could never start too early. 

They raced up to the gym again a few moments later, Kageyama nearly colliding with a post from the path next to the room. He breathed heavily, the race robbing him of a lot of his energy. 

“I win… Today…” Kageyama looked over to see Hinata, panting, one hand on his chest. He lifted his head and gave Kageyama a smirk of satisfaction before bending over once again in an attempt to recover. 

“I’m not even surprised anymore.” Kageyama whipped his head around to see Sugawara, Daichi, and Asahi walking up. It was Sugawara who had spoken, and his tone was slightly teasing. Even so, Kageyama could detect a tinge of exasperation in it.

“You two just don’t know when to quit, do you?” Asked Daichi, a laugh embedded in his voice. 

“Never would have made it this far if I did!” Hinata exclaimed, finally recovered from his bout of exhaustion. He picked his gym bag up from where he had thrown it on the ground and dusted it off, tossing it over his shoulder. “Can we get to practice already?”

\----

_ This is perfect. _ Kageyama looked around himself. Practice was nearly over, but everyone was still hard at work. He closed his eyes for a moment, relishing in the comforting sounds of the sport that he loved.  _ This is home. _ He had never felt like he had a place before now, there had always been something about him that stuck out. Even when he had begun to play volleyball, he was different from the rest of them. Power hungry and eager, he didn’t fit in with the rest of the players who were just there for fun.

“So close!” Someone next to Kageyama swore in frustration. He opened his eyes to see who had spoken. Hinata stared out towards the other side of the court, watching a ball slowly roll away. “I’ve almost got it down but something isn’t quite right,” the setter watched as Hinata muttered to himself. The small teen bent down and picked up a volleyball, rotating it a couple of times in his hands. 

“Uh, what are you doing?” Kageyama couldn’t help but ask. He had been so caught up in practicing on his own he hadn’t been paying attention to the people around him. Hinata looked up, slightly confused. His face brightened the way it usually did when he saw Kageyama. 

“I’m working on my serve,” he said happily. “I know it’s not one of my strong suits but if I’m going to be half as good as the Tiny Giant I want to be skilled in all areas, not just spiking.” The way he spoke made Kageyama feel light like all his problems vanished. He could just focus on what the ginger was saying. Because in that moments, whatever his friend had to say was the most important thing in the world.

_ Home. _ The word popped into Kageyama’s head without his consent, but the second he thought it he knew it was true. It wasn’t just volleyball that made Kageyama feel at home, it was the presence of his teammates. 

“That’s uh… Cool,” Kageyama stuttered out, suddenly remembering that the middle blocker probably expected a response from him. Hinata just nodded, turning back towards the court. Kageyama watched his friend’s form as he attempted to gracefully serve the ball, but he came up short and the ball rebounded off the net. It landed in the court for sure, but it was on the wrong side. 

“Dammit!” Hinata swore, shaking his head in annoyance. “I’ll get it soon,” he stated, running to go get another volleyball.

“Actually, practice is about over,” Coach Ukai called, standing by the cart of volleyballs and shifting it slightly out of Hinata’s grasp. 

“Aw c'mon, one more?” Kageyama heard Hinata plead, but the coach wouldn’t budge. 

“You guys know I’m all for training,” he began, addressing everyone but looking directly at Hinata. “That being said I’m also for making sure your health is okay because you can’t play if you’re injured or sick. So I’m not going to let you overdo it, because that’s going to do more harm than good. And that’s final.”

“Boo,” Hinata pouted dejectedly. He walked back over to Kageyama, who noticed the very apparent scowl on the slightly older boy’s face. 

“He’s just looking out for us, you know?” Kageyama tried to reassure, slightly out of character. “Especially after yesterday, he probably wants you to take it easy.” The words flew out of Kageyama’s mouth before he was able to process them. 

_ Shit, _ he cursed himself when Hinata frowned.  _ I didn’t mean to bring it up.  _ But Hinata just smiled a moment later and walked closer to Kageyama. Close enough to punch him in the arm. 

“Awww Kageyama, are you worried about me?” He asked as his eyes met the setter. There was so much emotion in them, too much for Kageyama to decipher. Hinata, who was usually such an open book, had an air of unread-ability about him at that moment. It made Kageyama shiver, feeling slightly uneasy.

“What are you talking about?” He retorted, rubbing his arm where the other first-year had punched him. “Of course not.”

“Sureeeee,” Hinata responded with a laugh. Just like that, the moment was over. Hinata looked like his usual self again, with nothing other than excitement hiding behind his eyes. Kageyama turned away to collect stray volleyballs so they could go home for the night. He still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on, but if nobody was going to tell him he wasn’t going to waste his energy trying to find out.

\---- 

For the rest of the week, everything passed smoothly. Classes were as boring as ever and practice just as exhausting, but everything was roughly the same. There wasn’t anything in the week that Kageyama found worth noting until it was over. 

“Alright everyone I’ve got an announcement,” Takeda called into the gym near the end of that Friday’s practice. He looked slightly disheveled and out of breath as if he had run there.

_ Probably did,  _ Kageyama thought, his curiosity increasing. He watched as the teacher adjusted his glasses and looked around at the team. 

“I understand this is really short notice,” Takeda began once everyone was paying attention. “And I understand if all of you can’t make it. But,” he continued, seeming eager to get to the point. “We’ve been invited to stay at Nekoma and participate in their training camp over the weekend. We would leave early tomorrow morning, and then spend the night at a room near there. We’d be sure to return here in time for classes on Monday.”

_ A Nekoma training camp?  _ Kageyama looked around, trying to gauge everyone’s thoughts. They didn’t have too much going on, the next games in the Spring Interhigh tournament were still about a month and a half away. They had already won two games back in August, allowing them to continue to compete in the National qualifying event in October.  _ But it never hurts to get in more practice I suppose,  _ he conceded thoughtfully.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea Specs!” Coach Ukai walked over to the other adult and patted him on the back. “So, is anyone available? I’ll make a few calls tonight, I should be able to snag us a bus if enough people want to go.” Kageyama checked the dates in his head. After determining that he didn’t have anything planned for either of the two days, he raised his hand.

“I should be able to go sir, I just have to double-check with my mother.” 

“I’m not missing out!” Hinata called from beside Kageyama, who turned to look at him. The boy was staring at Takeda and Coach Ukai in excitement, like a dog who was just offered a treat. 

After some discussion, everyone was able to go except for Yaichi, who had previously made plans with her mom that she couldn’t back out of, and Narita, whose parents had already asked him to keep an eye on their pets over the weekend. 

“All right that’s that then,” Coach Ukai looked around at the group, and Kageyama could tell he was just as excited as the rest of them. “Meet here tomorrow at six am sharp.”

“Yes sir!” Came the team's excited response before they split up to finish cleaning the gym. 

Kageyama looked up from where he was picking up a volleyball that had rolled to the corner of the room. Hinata was walking towards him, barely managing to hold three volleyballs in his arms.

“You’re so dumb,” Kageyama sighed, and he grabbed one of the balls out of Hinata’s hands once the first year was close enough.

“Thanks Kageyama!” Hinata looked up at the other first year, who turned away feeling slightly warm. 

“Whatever,” he mumbled and he began walking over to the cart to dump the two volleyballs he was now holding inside it. He heard footsteps behind him as Hinata ran to catch up. 

“An overnight training camp with Nekoma,” the small teen sighed in awe. “That’s so exciting! We’ll get to go up against lots of really strong players! We’ll get to see Kenma as well! I haven’t talked to him in a while.” When Kageyama looked up he saw Hinata’s eyes widen in thought. “Oooh, maybe I should text him tonight! What do you think Kageyama?”

“Uhh do whatever you want I guess,” Kageyama shifted on his feet awkwardly. He wasn’t sure why, but the idea rubbed him the wrong way. 

_ I just don’t want him getting too close to someone from a rival team, _ he decided after a few moments of pondering it.  _ That’s all. _

“Make sure you guys get plenty of sleep!” Coach Ukai called after them as the last few remaining team members walked out.

“Don’t forget to pack your bags as well, preferably tonight so that you don’t forget anything!” Takeda added, stepping out the door behind them. “And don’t be late!”

\----

“It’s too early,” Yamaguchi yawned the next morning, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Kageyama didn’t respond, too busy trying to shake himself awake. He looked at his phone to see that they still had about five minutes till everyone was set to arrive. Most members had already arrived, they were just waiting on Kinoshita and Tanaka.

“Hurry up,” Kageyama heard Coach Ukai mutter under his breath. He looked over to see the coach leaning against the hood of the bus that he like he said he would, had managed to grab the team to transport them to the other prefecture. 

“We’re going to Nekoma!” Hinata’s voice called from behind Kageyama, who turned around to see the first year and Nishinoya staring at each other in nothing but pure excitement.

“It’s gonna be AWESOME!” The libero agreed with a small bounce.

“Don’t waste all your energy before we even get there,” Daichi called. He was leaning against the side of the bus, staring at the two younger students with amusement. 

“Anyone still have their bags?” Someone called from the back of the bus. Sugawara popped his head out from where had been stacking their stuff.

“Oh here,” Ennoshita pulled his bag off his shoulder and handed it to the third year.

The atmosphere was light anticipation, and even closed-off people like Tsukishima seemed a little less harsh. The air had a slight chill and Kageyama shivered, rubbing his arms in an attempt to warm up. The sun had just begun to rise, casting small shadows on the ground around the team.

“Sorry I’m late!” Kinoshita walked around the corner towards the bus, yawning. “I forgot to pack some stuff last night and so I was kinda caught up in getting everything this morning. And then I ran into baldy over here,” he gestured to Tanaka, who was walking drowsily behind him. 

“As long as you made it on time it’s all good,” Coach Ukai said with a smile. Kageyama sensed that he was still a little annoyed but he didn’t bring it up. Kinoshita and Tanaka loaded their bags into the back with the help of Sugawara and Asahi, and then they were off.

The car wide was long and certainly not uneventful. Kageyama quickly grew irritated with most of his teammates' actions and was almost regretting the decision to come. 

“Are we there yet?” Hinata asked, pushing past Kageyama to look out the window. The sun was almost fully up now, signifying that noon was approaching fast. 

“You’ve asked that seven times in the last hour,” Coach Ukai called back from the front.

“You were counting?” Kageyama heard Takeda respond, barely holding back a laugh. The coach simply grunted in response. 

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Hinata groaned, leaning back in his seat. He began swinging his legs back and forth in impaitence.

“I’m sure we’ll be there soon enough,” Sugawara spoke, and Kageyama craned his neck to see him sitting with Daichi and Ennoshita in the back of the bus. “Nekoma is about five hours away and we’ve been nearly driving for that amount of time. I bet we’ll be there in the next fifteen minutes.”

“I can’t wait!” Nishinoya called from in-between the two groups where he was sitting with Tanaka and Asahi.

“Me neither!” Hinata chimed in, also twisting around in his seat. 

“You've already said that,” Kageyama sighed, going back to staring out the window. “You don’t have to keep repeating it.” Leaves had been scattered across the ground, littering the side of the road. 

“You’re no fun Kageyama,” Hinata grumbled but the setter simply ignored him.

_ Is he ever NOT annoying? _

__ A few minutes later than the gray-haired third year had predicted, the bus rolled up to place the would be staying. It was within walking distance of Nekoma high school. Kageyama slowly stood up and stretched, stepping out into the aisle. Hinata and Nishinoya had already darted out of the bus followed by Kinoshita and Yamaguchi, and Kageyama looked out the window to see the four of them looking around in awe.

“It’s not like you guys have never been here before,” Coach Ukai opened his door and got out, stretching and yawning. Takeda did the same, shaking out his hands to release the cramps from holding the wheel for so long. 

_ It’s been awhile though,  _ Kageyama looked around. The view from the place was nice. If the dark-haired first year squinted slightly he could see Nekoma High School, with trees lining the entrance to the academy. The building itself stood tall and gave off an air of superiority. The grass shimmered with dew that made the school seem mysterious. 

“I love visiting places,” Kinoshita exclaimed in excitement, turning towards the school eagerly. 

“I’m just excited to get settled in,” Daichi's voice called from the back, where he had opened the doors. He was beginning to remove bags and toss them out on the road. Kageyama made his way around and picked up his stuff, slinging the black strap over his shoulder. 

They all rushed to bring their items inside the room they would be staying in. It was a fairly simple building with a few separate rooms and a set of bathrooms. Nothing too fancy, but something that certainly met the team’s needs. 

“Hurry up you guys, let’s head over to the gym!” Coach Ukai called once everything but their volleyball equipment was securely off the bus and inside the building. 

_ Man he seems irritated today _ _.  _

Kageyama stared up at the entrance to the gym a few minutes later, looking at various posters and notices posted on the door. Takeda opened it and called in, making sure the opposing team was ready for them. He must’ve received a signal because he pulled out the door the whole way and gestured for the team to follow him inside. 

The gym was huge and brightly lit, with high ceilings and windows lining the walls. The net was already set up in the center, and there were a few players on it hitting a ball back and forth. 

“Welcome! Glad you guys could make it!” A voice called from the side of the court. Kageyama turned to see Nekoma’s coach smiling at them warmly. 

“I’m glad we could as well,” Coach Ukai stepped out from behind Takeda and walked up to the other coach. 

“Hey Tsukishima!” Kageyama turned his attention to the players as Kuroo walked up to the blonde middle blocker, who simply nodded and scowled slightly. “Hello to the rest of you guys as well! Welcome!” The Nekoma captain smiled at the opposing team, shifting on his feet and placing a hand on his hip. “Guys come to greet our guests!” Kuroo called over his shoulder to his team. 

As the two teams were mingling, Kageyama stood off to the side awkwardly. He had never been that into socializing, and although he knew some members of the Nekoma team he didn’t feel like talking to them. He looked around, trying to find something else to focus on. Ginger hair caught his gaze, and he looked at Hinata, who was usually pretty good at distracting him. 

Except for this time, Hinata was looking at someone else. The first year was talking animatedly to someone, but it wasn’t Kageyama. Kenma was standing in front of the bright-haired middle blocker, nodding along to whatever Hinata was talking about. Kageyama could tell he wasn’t fully paying attention, as had his phone out and was probably playing some game.

_ Hinata is talking to him, the idiot could at least care about what he’s saying, _ Kageyama rolled his eyes and turned away, not wanting to watch anymore. He locked eyes with Sugawara, who paused for a moment. Kageyama watched as the third year’s gaze flashed between Hinata and him, looking confused. Then his eyes widened and Kageyama saw him press his lips together, trying not to smile. 

“Why don’t you wanna talk to the rest of the team?” Sugawara ditched Daichi and Asahi who he had just been chatting with. Kageyama shrugged and averted his eyes. 

_ I don’t like meeting people, _ he answered the question to himself. He had always struggled socially, and at this point he wasn’t really in the mood to try again. 

Fifteen minutes later, everyone was still just hanging out. There were even a couple of people on the volleyball court, including Kuroo, Nishinoya, Tanaka, a few Nekoma players, and-

_ Is that Tsukishima?  _ Sure enough Tsukishima was on the court, practicing some technique with Kuroo.  _ Wonder how he got him to do that,  _ Kageyama questioned in confusion. 

“Alright everyone it’s practice time!” Came a call from the center of the gym. It made Kageyama jump slightly and he looked up to see the coach of Nekoma standing and motioning for everyone to gather around. Kageyama stood up and ran over to join the rest of the group.

The camp had begun. 

\---

“That… Was exhausting,” Kinoshita sighed, laying out his sleeping bag on the floor of the room and sitting on top of it, taking a drink of his water as he did so.

“You can say that again,” Ennoshita agreed, looking up from where read a book from the dim light on his phone.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow!” Nishinoya chimed in. Kageyama looked up to see the smaller boy stretching in the corner, probably trying to stop his muscles from getting stiff. They were all winding down after the long day, and Kageyama agreed with Kinoshita, it had been exhausting. The two coaches had kept the athletes on their feet all day, and training had been relentless. The team captains had hardly been any better, shouting instructions constantly. All that being said, it had been a good day and Kageyama was looking forward to the next. 

“Did you see the serve I did today?” Hinata rolled over on top of his sleeping bag to face Kageyama from where he had just been chatting with Sugawara. His eyes lit up the way they did whenever he became excited, and he had a grin plastered on his face that was both sheepish and proud.

“Uh.. No. I didn’t,” Kageyama admitted. It was true, he hadn’t. He hadn’t even been paying attention to Hinata that much that day at all. He figured he was busy working with Kenma. 

“Wait seriously?” Hinata asked, jolting up to a sitting position. His face fell when Kageyama nodded. “Aw man, I was hoping you were! It was really good!” He flopped back down, narrowly missing his pillow and slamming his head on the floor. “Ouch!” He exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head. 

“You are such a dumbass.” For once, it wasn’t Kageyama who had said it. He looked up to see Tsukishima wiping off his glasses and rolling his eyes. 

“Whatever Tsukishima,” the ginger stuck his tongue out at the other student who simply let out an exasperated sigh. He flopped back on his bed properly this time, and Kageyama watched as he rested both his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. “This… This is what I love,” he stated, turning to look at Kageyama who stared back, confused.

“What are you talking about?” 

“I mean… I don’t know how to put it into words,” the middle blocker began, staring directly into Kageyama’s eyes. “I love volleyball. Everyone who knows me knows that.” He paused as if trying to fit the words together. “But it’s not  _ just _ the volleyball part that I love. Sure, the feeling of stepping out on the court for the first time is amazing. The adrenaline rush as you score a point. The stinging in your hands that makes you… I don’t know, come alive?” He asked, looking to the setter for confirmation.

_ I completely understand, that’s how I feel too,  _ Kageyama thought. But he didn’t say anything, just simply waited for Hinata to continue. 

“It’s just… There’s more to it than that,” the setter watched as Hinata averted his eyes and looked around the room, at all the other members of the team who were all doing their own thing, whether that be reading, listening to music, or chatting in small groups of two or three. “I guess… Being a part of a team is what I love. Knowing there are people I can fall back on when I need them the most. Being able to take trips just like these, is what volleyball is to me. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said the other day,” Hinata looked back at Kageyama. “About what I’m going to do when it’s all over. But I can only hope for one thing, that whatever team I move onto next, will be just as amazing as this one.”

“Well said Ginger,” Coach Ukai walked up, eavesdropping. “Now, I think it’s time for the two of you to go to bed. That goes for all of you. We need to make sure you’re all well-rested, tomorrow is gonna be another long day.”

“Yes sir!” Came the responses of the students who were still awake. Tanaka and Asahi were already asleep, and Kinoshita looked like he was on the verge of drifting off as well.

“Night Kageyama,” Hinata yawned, turning away. The first year couldn’t help but smile to himself at all the awkward angles the other teen’s hair stuck out at. He stared at his friend’s almost sleeping form for a few moments, feeling peaceful for the first time since they had arrived. He relished in the feeling for a minute or two before he turned over to sleep for the night.

Except for he didn’t stay asleep the entire night.

_ What was that? _ Kageyama sat up in bed and rubbed sleep out of his eyes. He had been restless for a while, but he must have at least been out for some amount of time. From the sounds of breathing that the setter heard, everyone else was fast asleep. But that wasn’t why he had woken up. Something must have woken him.  _ What was it? _

He heard the sound of a door shut and he realized what it had been. Someone must have opened the door that led outside. Once his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Kageyama looked around to see who it might have been. It didn’t take a lot of searching, the sleeping bag next to his was empty. 

_ Where’s Hinata gone off to? _ Kageyama stood up, pulling his hood up on the jacket, trying to keep the cold out as he removed himself from the warmth of his sleeping bag. He walked up to the entrance, carefully stepping over Asahi and Yamaguchi. Once he reached the door he cracked it open, trying to make sure it didn’t make too much noise. He peered out through the tiny gap, trying to figure out where Hinata had gone.

The person who he was looking for was standing outside, his back to Kageyama. He had his head tilted and shoulder up, the way someone usually did if they were on the phone. The dark-haired teen pulled the door open further slightly, debating on himself if he should go out or not. He settled for listening in for a few moments.

“Hey mom,” Hinata said in a low voice after a second. “Sorry my phone was on silent, I didn’t want to wake anyone else. I just got your texts. What’s up?” 

_ His mother?  _ Kageyama tilted his head in confusion. Calling your mom was a pretty normal thing for a teenager to do while they were away from home, but it was extremely late. 

“They’re… They’re in?” Kageyama looked back up to see Hinata pacing, looking down at the ground. He pulled himself back a bit, hoping the shadows would conceal him. “Still not conclusive, huh?” There was a note of bitterness in Hinata’s voice that Kageyama wasn’t used to detecting, and he saw the small ginger biting his lip, almost as if in pain. 

_ What? What’s going on? _

__ “Now? Really?” Hinata’s voice went on after a slight pause, probably giving his mom time to respond. “But- the training camp- I promise I’m being safe! Can’t it wait?” the small teenager's voice rose slightly, and he shivered. “Okay,” he seemed to sigh, but it was hard for Kageyama to tell in the darkness. “I’ll tell the coach.” 

Kageyama quickly retreated back inside, trying to avoid being noticed. He returned to his sleeping bag and waited for Hinata to return.

_ What was that all about?  _ Kageyama was more confused than ever now.  _ What about the training camp? And what does he have to tell Coach Ukai?  _ He waited for a few more minutes, but Hinata hadn’t come in yet. It was taking everything in him to not go running out there to check on him, to make sure his friend was okay. But he stayed put. Soon the warmth of his sleeping bag caused his eyelids to droop, and as much as he fought he eventually couldn’t win. He drifted off to sleep, his last thoughts about how he’d get all the answers he needed tomorrow. 

\---

“What do you mean he’s gone?!” Kageyama stared at Takeda the next morning in disbelief. 

“He had to leave last night, something came up at home and his mom came and got him,” Takeda wouldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sure everything is fine, let’s not worry about it okay? Just focus on camp and you’ll see him again before you know it.” Kageyama turned away, trying to hide his concern.

_ Should I tell them about the phone call?  _ The thought popped into his head but he quickly dismissed it.  _ No Hinata said he was going to tell Coach Ukai, so whatever is going on the adults must already know.  _ As much as he didn’t want to admit it, the thought made Kageyama bitter. After all, Hinata was his friend. He wanted to know what was going on. It wasn’t right that they weren’t telling him anything.  _ Everything is probably fine, I’m just overreacting.  _

\----

Practice that day was long and hard, and Kageyama was easily distracted. He kept messing up his serves, and he knew he was disappointing the team and Nekoma as well. He lost his temper a few times too many, and some people were still in a bad mood when they all boarded the bus that evening after saying goodbye to the rival team.

Kageyama ran a hand through his hair in frustration. The weekend was supposed to be an intense training camp, and instead, it became plagued with confusion and misfortune. He still couldn’t figure out why Hinata had left. Maybe something had happened to his sister?

_ He didn’t want to go. _ The thought both reassured and scared Kageyama. It meant that Hinata didn’t abandon him and the team on purpose, but it also meant that something serious must have gone on. Kageyama leaned against the window of the bus, trying to sort through his thoughts. He had never been good at it though, and his emotions confused him more than he’d like to admit. 

The sounds of snoring distracted Kageyama from his musings, and he looked around at his teammates. Moonlight dimly lit the bus in phases, flashing in and out as they passed under bridges and trees. Kageyama saw Sugawara and Daichi asleep in the back, with the former gently resting on the latter’s shoulder. Tsukishima sat awake near the front of the bus with his headphones on, and Yamaguchi sat next to him with his forehead resting on the seat in front of him. As far as Kageyama could tell he was asleep.

Ennoshita was asleep with his chin in his hand, leaning against the window in the row across from Sugawara and Daichi. Asahi sat by himself in a middle row, looking out the window. In the row behind him sat Kinoshita, Tanaka, and Nishinoya, who were all asleep, leaning on each other in a pile. Kageyama had to squint to find Kiyoko, who sat by the very front of the bus. Her black hair blended in with the darkness, but he could still see her leaning against the window daintily. 

From their postures, Kageyama could tell that Takeda and Coach Ukai were exhausted. They were making casual conversation in whispers, probably trying to not wake the team. 

_ We must nearly be back now _ , Kageyama checked his phone again. It was nearly ten at night now, and they had left Nekoma High School at around five. He returned to looking out the window, impatient. He wanted to see how Hinata was doing, and he wanted to be home so that he could go to sleep. Once he was asleep time would hopefully pass by quickly, and he could talk to Hinata on the way to school the next day. 

Except things didn’t exactly go as Kageyama had planned. He didn’t run into the ginger teen in the place he usually did at the front of the school, and by the time he arrived at the gym, there was still no sign of him. He peered into the practice room anxiously, looking for any sign of his friend. 

“He’s not here,” someone put a hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, making him jump. He spun around to see Daichi standing there, voice lower than it usually was. His eyes bore an expression that Kageyama couldn’t quite make out. It made Kageyama feel unsettled, and he couldn’t figure out why. 

He looked behind Daichi to see two people walking up. He figured it was probably Sugawara and Asahi, as sometimes the third years liked to arrive together. But as they got closer Kageyama realized he was wrong.

Takeda and Coach Ukai wore the same expressions as Daichi. 

“We need to talk,” Coach Ukai informed when he was close enough. He sounded almost like he was pitying Kageyama, which made the setter even more uneasy.

“What’s going on?” His voice shook slightly.  _ Was this about Hinata? What happened to him? Is he okay? _ He looked back and forth between the three older people, desperately scanning for answers.

“Let’s go find a place to sit,” Takeda motioned for the group to follow him. They didn’t go far, just to a back area around the corner of the school where some students ate their lunch. There were a few tables scattered around, and the teacher led them to one and had them all sit down. 

“What’s going on?” Kageyama repeated his question from earlier. Anxiety had crawled its way into his throat, making it feel tight. His chest felt unusually light and his head was spinning slightly. He needed answers. Too many weird things had happened lately and he couldn’t take the confusion anymore. “Just tell me! I want to know.” 

“Well…” Daichi looked at the two adults, as if unsure that he should be the one to break whatever news they had. Coach Ukai cleared his throat and looked at Kageyama, with a completely serious tone.

“Hinata is in the hospital.”

“WHAT?!” Kageyama jumped up, slamming his hands on the table. The world seemed to pause for a minute as he tried to process it. “What happened?” He could tell his voice was shaking slightly but he didn’t try to stop it. 

“Sit down again and I’ll tell you,” the coach's voice was understanding yet firm. Kageyama knew that to get the answers he needed he had to listen. So he did as Coach Ukai said and sat back down on the bench hesitantly, not once taking his eyes off the adult. “It started a while ago. He was having some issues breathing and so he and his mom went to get it checked out, and… Well…”

“Well what then?” Kageyama asked, trying his best to keep himself calm.  _ He'll fine, he has to be. _ Coach Ukai stopped talking, the words seeming to physically pain him. Takeda noticed this and continued for the coach, who was looking at his hands which sat folded tightly on the table.

“They couldn’t find anything and the doctors just recommended that he should be careful, but it was probably nothing.” The teacher could hardly keep Kageyama’s gaze and he kept looking down as if to regroup himself.

“So it’s nothing? He’s fine then?” Kageyama’s breathing quickened.

“Well… Not exactly,” Daichi butted in, looking directly and Kageyama. “The issues got worse. He told me that he sometimes has to take frequent breaks when he practices at home he said that sometimes it feels like his heart is going so fast that it’s going to break. So…Hinata’s parents thought it would be a good idea to go back to the doctors.” Kageyama didn’t know how to respond, he just nodded, intent on hearing the whole story. 

Takeda continued after Daichi paused. “They took a bunch of tests on different things for him. That was about a week ago, they went early the morning after the practice where he was forced to step out.”

_ I ran to school with him that morning, he seemed a little tired but it was early and I didn’t think much of it,  _ Kageyama cursed himself.  _ How could I not ask? How stupid am I?  _ His entire world felt like it was falling apart. He had a lot of past memories related to hospitals that made him uncomfortable around them, and now one of his closest friends was ill? He didn’t know what to think, how to feel. It didn’t feel real, like any moment he’d wake up and could just forget any of it happened. “Did he get the results back?” He managed to squeak out.

Takeda nodded. “That’s why he left Nekoma in the middle of the night. His mom got a call that she got the results back, and called him. She came and picked him up and they went to the hospital. He’s been there since.” He attempted to lock eyes with Kageyama who looked away. He knew what his next question was, but the thought of it left his tongue dry. He didn’t know how to force it out, and it was a good few seconds before he finally managed to quietly ask:

“And…? The results…?” Ukai finally looked up at the question. Kageyama noticed that adult's face was strained with stress.  _ So this is why he was so uptight at the training camp. _

__ “Apparently they were inconclusive,” Ukai gazed off to something behind Kageyama. “But we were going to pay a visit to the hospital after practice today and you’re welcome to join. But per Hinata’s request, we’re not telling the rest of the team yet. So I trust you’ll keep your mouth shut.”

Kageyama nodded, not fully understanding but he wasn’t going to put up a fight about it. “Why do you know then?” He asked Daichi, a little confused. 

“I’m the captain,” he said with a matter-of-fact tone. “You know that six on six-game? When I stepped out? While yes, I wanted to test your skills without a captain, I also take on the responsibility to check on my athletes. Takeda and Coach Ukai filled me in then, but I also swore not to tell anyone. Not even Sugawara or Asahi,” he smiled slightly. “You know how Hinata is, he doesn’t like to worry people. Chances are he’ll probably be fine, and everything will work out okay. No need to cause unnecessary stress on the team.” The expression on his face did not match his words, and Kageyama could tell he was trying to convince himself as much as the first year. 

“Well… Thanks for telling me,” Kageyama stood up, trying his hardest to not fall over. His world still felt slightly unsettled. Everything felt unbalanced, out of the ordinary. He walked off with his world still lopsided, heading to the locker room to change. 

The entire day felt… Weird. Kageyama couldn’t focus on either volleyball or school, annoying both his teachers and teammates. Daichi would flash him worried glances in the hall, and throughout practice, he felt Coach Ukai and Takeda’s eyes on him, though they did a good job at keeping up the act. Both Sugawara and Ennoshita had come up and asked him if he was doing all right, and there had been a few teasing remarks from Tsukishima, Kinoshita, and Nishinoya, but other than that the team left him alone. 

_ Finally, _ Kageyama thought looking at his phone. Practice was over, and they could go visit the hospital. The day felt like it had gone on forever, and he was more than ready to see Hinata. He had already texted his mother over lunch break, and she was willing to let him ride with Daichi, Takeda and Coach Ukai.

The way there was silent, each member completely enveloped in their thoughts. Kageyama stared out the window, (something he had done a lot lately) and tried to sort through his feelings once again. He couldn’t get a grip on anything though, everything just felt so surreal. He was going to wake up, race to school with Hinata, have the best volleyball practice, a normal day of classes, another amazing volleyball practice, home, then repeat. That's how he was expecting the day to go. 

Instead he was sitting in a car he had never been in before, heading to a destination he had never wanted to go to again. Hospitals were always unsettling, they were either too clean, too quiet, or both. The whole place felt like it sucked in the universe, nothing existed when you were inside them except the room you were in. It smelled so clean that it would burn your nose, and the people inside it hardly felt like people at all. Kageyama had been multiple times in his second year of junior high. The feelings he got when he was inside made him never want to return. 

Now Hinata, a literal ball of life, was inside it. Kageyama shivered, not wanting to think about what it would do to Hinata’s light. That place sucked the excitement out of people, what would it do to someone full of it? He didn’t want to think about it. 

They rolled up to the hospital a few minutes later, and Coach Ukai locked the car door behind them. They all seemed to flash Kageyama a few worried glances as they walked into the massive building, but the setter just pretended to not see them and kept a completely unreadable expression as he entered a place he had hoped to never return to. 

Kageyama sat in the corner in a chair as Takeda checked in. Daichi looked like he wanted to say something but Kageyama turned away, pointedly directing his shoulder at the captain showing he wasn’t interested in the conversation. He wasn’t sure what he’d say anyway. Too many emotions were floating around inside him, he wasn’t sure where he’d even start. So they sat in silence until Takeda came back, with a visitor sticker for each of them. Kageyama fastened it to the shirt that he wore under his school uniform, not even glancing at it. Details seemed like such a trivial matter, ones that Kageyama couldn’t concern himself with. 

The halls were just as Kageyama remembered, surreal and reeking of cleanliness. Nurses and doctors rushed past them, heading off to their next work destination. All the passages and rooms blurred together, and Kageyama completely lost his sense of direction as they rounded one corner after another. He just blindly followed the people in front of him, trying not to think about what came next. 

Before he knew it, or maybe it had taken forever, they stopped at a door. Takeda looked up and knocked, waiting till he heard a response. He opened the door after a few moments and motioned for the group to follow him inside. 

Hinata sat on a large hospital bed, one that made him look even smaller if that was even possible. Kageyama cringed when he saw the middle blocker's left arm hooked up to some wires, and he turned away, instead of focusing on the small teen's face. From his expression, Hinata couldn’t decide whether he was happy to see them, confused as to why they were there or upset they were worried about him. He gripped a video game console in his left and a bottle of water sat next to his right. His eyes were as bright as Kageyama remembered, which made him internally sigh in relief. 

The ginger’s hair was an absolute mess, and the hospital gown fit loosely on his body exposing one of his shoulders and making it look super baggy. The grey sheets of the bed lay twisted at his ankles and he was leaning against a stack of pillows that kept him propped up.

Hinata smiled awkwardly at them. “Uh, hey guys, what’s up?” 

“I told you some people were coming to visit,” Kageyama looked over to see Hinata’s mom sitting in a chair in the corner, legs crossed politely. They all bowed when they stepped inside, and Daichi walked right up to Hinata and started talking. Coach Ukai instantly went to go talk to Hintata’s mother about something, leaving Takeda and Kageyama standing right inside the doorway. 

Takeda turned to Kageyama, a challenge in his voice. “Well, you said you wanted to see him. Here you are.” Kageyama felt frozen in place. Hinata didn’t look any different, but Kageyama couldn’t help but think that things had changed. He knew it was a stupid thought but it still made him nervous. He swallowed his anxiety and walked up to the bed, looking at his friend with a sour taste in his mouth. 

Hinata and Daichi were already deep in conversation about volleyball. Daichi was nodding along to Hinata’s rantings about a new technique he had stormed up. Kageyama just stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, hands in his pockets, shifting back and forth on his feet uneasily. Eventually, Hinata turned towards the other first-year after exhausting his previous topic of conversation. 

“Hey Kageyama,” one side of his mouth tilted up, almost like a smile but it wasn’t fully complete. It ended up looking a little more like a smirk. 

“Hey,” Kageyama grunted his usual response and looked at the floor, face feeling flushed.

“What, not used to seeing me like this?” Hinata teased. His voice sounded light, but Kageyama could detect a twinge of salt in it. He looked up to see the ginger sitting fully upright, arms in the air.

“Shouyou you really shouldn’t do that,” Hinata’s mom called, peering past Coach Ukai and scolding him. Hinata stuck his tongue out at her and flopped back into the bed with an exasperated sigh.

Hinata carefully crossed his arms in an attempt to not mess up whatever machine he sat attached to. “This is so unnecessary, I’m fine,” he grumbled, though he didn’t look angry, just annoyed. 

“You and I both know it’s better safe than sorry Ginger,” Coach Ukai walked up to the bed and leaned against the frame. Takeda walked up behind him, nodding. 

“You better listen to your coaches,” Hinata’s mother chimed in. She was now looking at something on her phone, occasionally lifting her gaze to look at the group. “This is the only way you’re gonna be able to go back to practice.”

Hinata looked crestfallen. “That’s not fair!” 

“Nope I agree with her,” Daichi addressed Hinata directly, making sure to make eye contact. “As your captain, you’re not stepping back out on the court until the doctor’s clear you, and that’s final.” Hinata’s only response was to look away sadly. Kageyama couldn’t even begin to imagine what was running through the small teen’s head at that moment, he wasn’t even sure what was running through his head. Although the day had improved now that he had seen Hinata for himself and reassured himself that the middle blocker was alright, everything was still unsettled. 

Hinata didn’t look too different. But Kageyama still felt like he wasn’t as bright as he used was before. It made him more uncomfortable than he wanted to admit, and he was honestly ready to leave. So he felt relieved when, after a while, Coach Ukai checked his phone and sighed. 

“Alright we should probably head out, I promised to take both of them home.” The coach gestured to both Daichi and Kageyama, who were still lingering by the edge of the bed. “Keep us updated okay?” He directed the question at Hinata’s mother who agreed. 

Kageyama turned to follow the older people out. Right as he was about to exit the room, he whipped around. “When are you going to come back?” He blurted out, not planning on voicing the thought. Hinata opened his mouth to answer but his mom got to it first.

“He should hopefully be back tomorrow,” she looked directly at Kageyama, addressing it mainly to him. “On doctor’s orders he can’t do anything strenuous, including volleyball, but he’ll still be at school. All of this is just a precaution though. The doctors agree that this is all probably nothing, but we want to get it all checked out anyway.” 

Kageyama couldn’t come up with a good response, so he just didn’t give one. He was happy that Hinata was coming to school the next day, but he knew it would be hard on the boy to not play the sport they both loved. He attempted to make eye contact with Hinata before he left but it was no luck, the other teen had already turned away and returned to whatever game he had been playing when they arrived. Something about the sight gave Kageyama a lump in his stomach, but he ignored it and left the room. 

Nobody had much to say on the way back, quite like on the way there. Even if Kageyama had wanted to talk, there was nothing he could say that could describe the way he was feeling. So he kept everything to himself, closing his eyes and for a few moments wishing it all away. 

When the setter arrived home, his mom was making dinner, and the scent overwhelmed Kageyama as he stepped through the door. It made him slightly nauseous, and he passed by the kitchen without even saying hello. He roughly chucked his bag on the floor, not caring where it landed.

He wandered over to his unmade bed and flopped on it. He covered his eyes with his arm, sighing. The day had felt so much longer than any other Monday, and he was more than ready for it to end. His mind was at war with itself, he couldn’t decide whether he was tired or not. His brain felt permanently exhausted, but his body was rejecting rest. After a few minutes of debating, he decided he had to get up and do something; he would suffocate if he sat there any longer. 

As much as he tried, he couldn’t grasp the concept of his homework. His mind kept drifting in too many directions, and he had to read each sentence a minimum of three times before he finally knew what it was saying. 

“This is stupid!” Kageyama exclaimed aloud, slamming his head into his desk. A sharp pain shot through his forehead and he heard his pencil snap. He sat up to see he had slammed directly on top of the pencil, breaking it in half. 

“Is everything going alright in here?” The door to Kageyama’s room opened, and he looked over to see his mother standing in the door, looking baffled. 

Kageyama set his head back on the desk, more gently this time. “Yeah,” he didn’t feel up to talking, and he could sense that his mother had a lot to ask him about. He tried to signal with his body language that he wasn’t up for conversation, but he heard her step into the room anyway, shutting the door behind her. 

She walked up to the teenager and rested a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to look up at her. “How’s your friend doing?” She looked concerned, and Kageyama didn’t blame her. 

“Fine,” Kageyama couldn’t quite meet her gaze, and instead focused on a strand of hair that fell out of her loose ponytail. The truth was that he didn’t know. He had no idea how Hinata was doing. People kept trying to reassure him that he was fine, that this was just a false alarm, that everything was going to work out and there was nothing to worry about. However, something about the way they said it, the way they couldn’t look at him directly in the eyes, the tone of voice, something about their words always made Kageyama suspicious that there was something bigger going on. 

“Okay well… Keep me updated alright?” Kageyama knew his lie didn’t go across well, but he appreciated that his mother didn’t press it. He nodded, and she ruffled his hair before leaving the room to finish dinner. 

Kageyama set his forehead back down on the desk, barely avoiding the lead that had come out of the pencil. Focusing was pointless, homework felt like the least important thing in the world at the moment. His chest ached and he couldn’t quite figure out why. He scrunched up his face, trying to distract himself from it. 

_ Everything will be okay, it has to be. _ Kageyama knew nothing could keep Hinata down for long; the small middle blocker would be fine. Before either of them knew it, he would be standing back on the court, as powerful and intimidating as ever. Karasuno just wasn’t Karasuno without Hinata.  _ He’ll be back on his feet soon. _

\----

“Morning Kageyama!” Sure enough, running up was exactly the person Kageyama had wished it would be. The second the dark-haired teenager saw him, everything fell back into place and his nerves settled. The small ginger rushing towards him filled him with a hope he wasn’t sure he’d be able to describe. Hinata always just had a presence that Kageyama was sure everyone around him could feel. It made whatever they were doing at that moment feel like the most important thing in the world. 

“Morning,” Kageyama responded when Hinata reached him, his voice not even carrying a fraction of the emotion he was feeling at that moment. He knew he’d never be able to express just how excited he was to see the other boy, it would be too awkward. He looked Hinata up and down, trying to spot any signs of his recent hospital visit. But other than looking slightly tired, the smaller boy looked completely normal. 

“I can’t wait to get back!” Hinata bounced on the balls of his feet eagerly. His outfit was slightly disheveled, as if he hadn’t washed it, and his hair still stuck up in a few odd directions. But despite that, this was  _ Hinata.  _ Hinata was back.

“You were only gone for a day idiot.”

“But it felt like  _ forever _ ,” Hinata drew out the last word with an exasperated sigh. “I wanna know everything that happened! How was the rest of the weekend with Nekoma? How were the practices yesterday? How was class, did I miss any homework? Wait, don't tell me that I don’t want to know-” Kageyama zoned out of Hinata’s rambling as they walked to school. It was a surprisingly relaxing morning. They were nearing mid-September, but the temperature hadn’t gotten too cool yet. The ground was still scattered with leaves, and Kageyama had to keep reminding himself that he was too old to go around jumping in leaf piles. 

They arrived at the gym only five minutes before practice was set to start, a new late record. Kageyama quickly went to change, leaving Hinata to enter the gym by himself. He supposed there was no point in Hinata getting into his gym uniform, he wasn’t able to play anyway. The thought was sour but true. Kageyama had heard the doctor and Daichi’s orders, and Hinata knew better than to disobey. The minute he was in top shape again he would be allowed back out on the court.

Still, when Kageyama entered the gym for practice it felt like a punch in the gut to see Hinata just sitting on the sidelines in his school uniform. It wasn’t natural. He was so used to Hinata being right behind him, that the court always felt empty without him. Hinata still looked as excited as ever though, and Kageyama felt reassured, knowing he’d be back soon. 

Practice went better that day than the day before. Kageyama, though still slightly distracted, was able to keep himself focused on his work. Some of it was sloppier than usual but it was significantly better than not being able to do it at all. Both Sugawara and Daichi noted that to him, and Kageyama accepted their praise with a nod. Hinata shot up as soon as practice was over and ran over to where Kageyama was putting the last volleyball away. 

“That was awesome!” He waved his arms enthusiastically as if imitating something Kageyama had done during practice, though if he was Kageyama couldn’t figure out what.

“Uh… Thanks?” His voice must’ve carried his confusion, because Hinata looked exasperated.

“When you went bam! And the ball whooshed better than it usually did and you must’ve done something special with your hands because when the ball landed it went  _ whack _ !” Kageyama had no idea what the ginger was going on about, but he nodded anyway. 

A few people came up to Hinata after practice to ask him why he wasn’t participating, but Daichi stepped in between them and simply said that they’d explain later. Hinata nodded, face falling slightly. Kageyama knew why, the idea of telling his teammates that there might be something wrong with him must stress Hinata out. But he must know that they wouldn’t just drop it without an explanation. 

“Are you sure you’re up for it?” Daichi asked when the three of them were alone. His question was directed at Hinata. “I know telling people stuff like this is hard and I-”

“Nah it’s fine,” Hinata cut him off, looking at the captain. “You’d make it sound way more serious than it is. The doctors have some minor concerns about my health and asked me to sit out for a few practices to not push myself while they work out what’s going on. That’s all it is, it’s not like I’m dying.”

“Well, if you’re sure.” Daichi shrugged in compliance. “I’d like to do it sooner than later though, maybe before practice starts after school?” 

“Won’t that cut into practice time though?” The first year asked, looking uncomfortable.

“Yeah but this is more important,” Daichi retorted. The two of them bickered for a few minutes before Daichi finally won. Hinata was still muttering about it as he and Kageyama walked to class, complaining about how he didn’t want to waste any of the team’s time. The Spring High wasn't too far away, and Kageyama agreed with Hinata when he said that they needed to be at the top of their game. 

“I wish everyone wouldn’t worry about me so much,” Hinata muttered. “Everyone seems to baby me and I don’t get it, is it because I’m short?” Kageyama looked over at his friend who was reaching a hand above him as if measuring his height against the other players. Kageyama couldn’t help but laugh slightly at the sight. Hinata was always so… Warm, even when he was complaining. 

“I’m sure that’s not it, dumbass,” Kageyama rolled his eyes as Hinata stood on his toes to try to seem taller. “If you think people are babying you it’s probably because they think you’re immature, which you are.”

“Oh like you’re not?” Hinata cut back in annoyance. 

“Hey! I’m way more mature than you!” 

From an outsider's perspective, their conversations may have sounded like bullying. But to Kageyama at least, it was just a part of their friendship. He’d tease Hinata, and Hinata would tease him right back. He never fully meant it, even if some of the things he said were true. He wouldn’t trade their easy conversations for anything. 

\----

“Kageyama, did you hear me?” The classroom was stuffy and Kageyama was, once again, having a hard time paying attention to anything his teacher was saying. 

“No ma'am,” he focused his eyes on his desk. 

He heard his teacher sigh in exasperation, “please try to pay attention.” Kageyama nodded and apologized, and answered the question she had asked him to. He went right back to staring out the window afterward, contemplating on what lay ahead. He wondered how the team would take the news.

_ What news? _ He asked himself.  _ It’s not like anything is really wrong with Hinata, he’s right. It’s not like some big, newsworthy story. It’ll probably take less than a minute, Coach Ukai won’t even call a meeting for it. _ Maybe it was just an attempt to calm his nerves, but in that moment he believed it. He had always been prone to overreacting, and he knew that’s what this was. 

The moment the bell rang he practically leaped out of his seat, scaring the kid who sat behind him. He apologized curtly before roughly slinging his bag over his shoulder and setting out for the gym. He met up with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima in the hallway, and they joined him as he headed over. That annoyed Tsukishima, Kageyama noted when he saw the look on the tall middle blocker’s face.

Yamaguchi paid no mind to his friend and instead turned to Kageyama. “Hey, where was Hinata yesterday? He wasn’t at practice and he sat out this morning, what’s going on?” the other first-year questioned the setter with a concerned look on his face as they walked.    
“You’ll find out in a minute,” Kageyama answered shortly. He swore not to say anything, and he knew he would probably make it more dramatic than Hinata wanted. He didn’t like being one of the only ones to know though, and he was kind of relieved that it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. That only made Yamaguchi look more concerned, however, but Tsukishima whispered something in his ear that made him relax again. Kageyama walked away before he could even begin to imagine what Tsukishima had said. He rushed to get changed and head to the gym, where Hinata was once again there. This time he was chatting with Takeda. He wasn’t as animated as usual, but he still seemed excited to be there. 

Kageyana walked over to the court and sat down to stretch, absentmindedly focusing his gaze on Hinata. He couldn’t wait for his partner to be back on the court. He secretly agreed with Hinata’s earlier statement, it seemed like it was ages since they had played together, even though it had only been a few days.

_ I hated him at first, _ Kageyama pondered, remembering their first-ever game. They met in front of the bathroom, Hinata nothing but a scrawny kid with dreams bigger than he could ever even hope of achieving, and Kageyama, himself, strong but afraid, facing the betrayal and loss of his teammates, but still having way too much ambition regardless. It was an unfair match-up. Kageyama knew that right away. But that didn’t stop him from giving the match everything he had, and as a result, he thought he made one of the biggest rivals he would ever have.

So it certainly came as a surprise when Hinata walked through the doors of the Karasuno high school. Kageyama had been prepared to bring Karasuno back and beat Hinata once again, but all those plans vanished into the air the second he made eye contact with the other teen. 

They had gone through a lot together since then, from practice games to homework, from lazy Sunday afternoons to intense games, texting conversations, sitting under the tree on the hill, to invading Coach Ukai’s shop. Kageyama didn’t want to admit it, he was afraid of being vulnerable. But deep down he knew that Hinata was his closest friend, he might even venture to say his best friend. He didn’t know who he’d be without Hinata, and he was determined to keep the other boy in his life as long as their career paths would allow. They were a team, and he didn’t want anything to change that. 

Kageyama snapped out of his reminiscing to the sound of Coach Ukai’s voice calling the team around. 

_ I guess I was wrong, he is calling a meeting, _ Kageyama got to his feet despite not stretching at all. He could feel his nerves rising again and he took a few deep breaths to steady them before running up to join the group gathering in the back of the gym. Hinata was standing off to the side awkwardly, his distress at being the concern apparent on his face. The whole team was there now, attention focused on the coach and Takeda.

“What is it Coach?” Sugawara asked in confusion.

“We just need to have a quick talk is all,” Coach Ukai addressed the group, his tone more serious than usual. Everyone snapped to focus, as something was going on. Kageyama watched as Coach Ukai looked at Hinata, and an unspoken question passed between them. After a second, Hinata stepped forward.

“Uh, I suppose you’ve all been wondering why I sat out practice this morning,” the middle blocker looked unusually nervous, and he appeared to not be able to decide which foot to rest his weight on. The young teen paused for a few seconds before continuing; “It’s nothing big, some people are just being cautious, but I’ve had a few health issues lately and the doctor told me to lay off the physical exercise for a bit while they double-check.”

He said it so seriously that even Kageyama began to believe it. Hinata would be back soon, they just needed to focus on training for the October Spring Interhigh qualifiers. 

“Oh alright, thanks for letting us know,” Ennoshita was the first one to respond after a few moments of silence. “I understand, make sure you rest up okay?” A few other people chimed in with words of encouragement or condolences before the team split up and headed off to practice. Hinata stayed on the sidelines to watch, and Kageyama caught a glimpse of the longing look on his face before he turned away and headed off to the court. 

He knew he wasn’t going to help Hinata by just sitting around and waiting, it would help for him to simply be on the top of his game, so that when his friend returned to the court, Kageyama would be able to make up for any physical abilities that he may lack from sitting out. Though in the back of his mind Kageyama knew that Hinata was probably keeping up some training regimen at home, even though the doctor had probably told him not to. If he was smart he’d just rest up so that he could be in the next competition, but Hinata wasn’t the smartest. Kageyama sighed to himself at the thought. 

There were multiple things he was planning on working on with Hinata, but all that had been put on hold. The most important thing was for Hinata to get better. Kageyama picked up a ball and twisted it around in his hands a few times, trying to decide what to work on first. Right at that moment, they had some free time to work on whatever skills they wanted to, and most people split up to work in groups of two or three. Typically Kageyama and Hinata would work together on serves and receives, but since the setter was alone he decided to just practice his serves. He spent a good five minutes launching volleyballs across the room, trying to nail each one to a direct spot. He was mostly successful, with only a couple of them landing slightly off. He ran to pick them up, collecting them in the center before scooping as many as he could carry and walking them back to the cart he got them from.

As he was walking back he caught a glimpse of Sugawara in the corner. Kageyama turned to see the pinch setter crouching down, talking to Hinata in a seemingly hushed voice. Daichi stood beside him, observing and nodding his head now and then. 

_ I can’t wait for things return to normal.  _ He thought, turning his gaze away from the sight.

Practice went essentially the same as it had that morning, except for a few less stray glances to Hinata’s area. The small ginger had been hanging out with the managers and would alternate between ranting excitedly to Yachi and shouting encouraging things out to the players on the court. He was a great teammate on and off the court, and his energy still radiated throughout the room even though he wasn’t participating in any of the drills. Kageyama felt at peace during practice that day, something his life had been lacking the past couple of days. So when Hinata came up to him for a high-five after practice finished, he accepted it with a small smile. He felt his palms tingle when they broke away, and he found himself wishing they could do it again. Kageyama went home that night excited to head back to practice the next day.

\----

“Guess what guess what guess what?” Something crashed into Kageyama, knocking him off-balance. He stumbled, trying his hardest not to fall into the grass and leaves on the side of the path, but was unsuccessful. He plummeted to the ground into a sitting position, cringing when he felt the morning dew soak into his pants.

“What was that for?!” He shouted, standing up and brushing soggy leaves off himself. They were nearing the end of September, and October’s wet and chilly presence loomed, drawing ever closer. It had been nearly two weeks since Hinata’s visit to the hospital, and he had become more and more restless every day. Kageyama always kept one eye on him during practices, ensuring that the first year was doing what he was told; over the few weeks, he had gone from sitting quietly to nearly leaping out of his seat every time someone did something cool. Kageyama also noticed Coach Ukai keeping an eye on him, and panic flashed across the older man’s features every time Hinata did something potentially dangerous.

However despite all that, the time went by completely uneventfully. Kageyama received no update about his friend’s health, leading him to assume that Hinata was okay. There was only one way to know, however, and that was for Hinata to get back on the court. Kageyama was getting impatient, he wanted to know if his friend was alright one way or the other. When he looked up from cleaning himself off and saw Hinata smiling brighter than ever. Kageyama's eyes widened when he realized what the other boy must have been smiling about. His anger at being pushed over disappeared instantly.

“Are you… You… Able? Able to?” His breath caught on every word, and he felt time freeze. He broke into a grin when Hinata nodded excitedly, pulling something out of his pocket and holding it up for Kageyama to read. It was a small note, with just a few words on it. But they were the words that felt like they put everything back in its proper place.

_ Shouyou Hinata is clear to take part in strenuous activities again.  _ Kageyama read it a few times in excitement. This meant that Hinata was officially back, and officially okay. 

“I gotta go tell Coach!” Hinata took off at a run, his shorter legs stretching out as far as they could to make as many big strides as he could on the way. Kageyama called after him and raced to catch up. The race felt even more significant than usual, and Kageyama didn’t realize just how much he had missed them. Since the doctor had banned him from any exercise too physically exhausting, they had walked to the gym together instead of running. It was peaceful and quiet, but that wasn’t what Kageyama liked. He liked that Hinata made him challenge himself. Before, the young setter was driven by nothing other than his ambition and self-hatred. Since Hinata had come into his life he had another motivator. Hinata forced him to grow like never before. He forced them to grow together in their play styles, and he forced Kageyama to grow as a teammate and a person. He didn’t like to admit it, but he didn’t know where he would be without Hinata. 

They arrived at the gym quickly, panting. Hinata looked more worn out than usual, but he hadn’t exercised for two whole weeks so it was understandable. The ginger looked at Kageyama, his eyes lit with exhilaration. 

“I won! Ha! Two weeks without exercise and I’m still better than you!” He challenged light-heartedly. 

Kageyama turned up his nose in indignation, “you had a huge head start! You’re just a cheater is all!” 

“Whatever!” Hinata twisted around, stretching, then he began to head over to change. “Coming?” Kageyama nodded and followed, beyond excited to get back to practice. They changed quickly and rushed over to the gym, where they were greeted with a stern look from Daichi.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” The captain glared down at Hinata, who immediately held out the note he brought with him and held it out to the third year, who grabbed it and looked at it closely. 

“That’s great news Hinata!” He exclaimed when he finished reading it. Kageyama watched as he handed it back to the small ginger, who couldn’t help but give a small jump of happiness. 

“Isn’t it?” Hinata pushed past Daichi and headed over to where Takeda and Coach Ukai were chatting. Kageyama watched him go, a smile still resting lightly upon his face. He turned to the captain and his smile quickly dropped when he saw the other male with a slight frown on his face.

“Uh… Is something wrong?” Kageyama asked before thinking twice, causing Daichi to jump.

“I’m just a little paranoid is all,” Daichi scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “I’ll probably keep an eye on him for a few more days, just in case. If the doctor cleared him I’m sure he’s fine. But still, going to the hospital for breathing problems is nothing to take lightly when you’re an athlete.” Kageyama wasn’t sure what to think of the statement. On one hand, he was relieved he wasn’t the only one with anxiety over the teen, but on the other, it made him nervous to think it might not be over. He couldn’t think of a good response, so he didn’t give one. 

As soon as he set his stuff down he heard Hinata’s footsteps come up behind him, and he turned around and made eye contact with his friend. The middle blocker practically begged the other teen to set for him immediately, and Kageyama quickly agreed. He’d never say it out loud, but he was just as excited as Hinata was.

They pulled Yachi over to throw a few balls for them. Kageyama got into position and signaled to Yachi that he was ready whenever she was. As soon as the volleyball was up in the air Kageyama ran to meet it, getting ready and waiting for it to fall in his outstretched palms. He rapidly checked to make sure he knew where Hinata’s position was and launched it, sending it up in an arc. Before Kageyama could even blink, Hinata leaped up with power only he possessed and made contact with the ball. He looked so graceful as if he was flying. His feet had left the floor with barely a squeak, and the force of the jump caused his ginger hair to ripple slightly in the breeze he had created. He looked so elegant and free that Kageyama couldn’t tear his eyes away, even when the volleyball slammed down on the other side of the court. 

Hinata met the ground a second after, landing lighter than seemingly possible for how high he jumped. Kageyama watched as his friend's eyes lit up, surely feeling the excitement at the successful quick attack. Hinata stared at the volleyball rolling away for a few moments longer before running over to Kageyama and holding his hands up, apparently hoping for another high-five. Kageyama complied, holding up both his hands and connecting them to his partners with a loud  _ smack _ .

“THAT WAS SO AWESOME!” Hinata bounced on his feet again, not able to contain his ecstasy. “I never want to not be able to do that again.”

“Great grammar genius,” Tsukishima called from where he was observing on the sidelines.

_ Something was wrong with his grammar? _ Kageyama was momentarily distracted from his excitement to look in confusion at Tsukishima, who just grunted in disapproval. 

“That was great you guys!” Sugawara walked up to Kageyama and put a hand on his back. “I’m glad you’re back Hinata, we’re gonna need your help at the next competition.” Hinata looked even more excited at the statement if that was possible. 

“I’m sure we’ll do amazing! We still don’t know what team we’re up against, right?” The first year looked up at Sugawara, who had taken his hand off of Kageyama’s shoulder and rested it on his hip, shifting his footing to support it. 

“That’s right,” Sugawara nodded. “We’ll probably find out soon enough when they send out the brackets. Only one team from the prefecture is eligible to compete at Nationals, so we’ll have to fight to claim the spot for Miyagi. As you know, we beat two teams back in August. But it’s not over yet. We made it this far in the last Interhigh before we lost to Aoba Joshai. We’re not going to make the same mistake again. We’ll probably have four matches, and if we win them all then we’ve got our ticket to Nationals. There are some tough teams still in the competition though, so we’re going to make sure to keep up the practice,” Sugawara continued his lecture, now addressing anyone close enough to hear him.

“You can say that again,” Asahi came up behind Sugawara, looking determined. 

Sugawara flashed Asahi a small smile. “It'll be difficult, but look around,” Kageyama watched as the third year opened his arms as if gesturing for them to follow his instructions. “We’ve got a great team here, one that I’m honored to be a part of. So make sure you work hard, and I’ll do the same. I’ve got no doubt we can do this. We’re going to Nationals!” A few scattered claps followed Sugawara’s impromptu speech, to which the vice-captain bowed to in good nature. Kageyama saw him jump as Daichi came up behind and put a hand on the grey-haired setter's shoulder.

“Exactly what he said,” Daichi reinforced the other third-year’s statement. “We’ve got a better team here than we’ve had in years, one that I could not be more proud to lead. We’ve got so many people with so many skill sets, and we’ve accomplished so much already. We’re able to make it far, I believe in you guys.”

“Alright!” Tanaka cheered, pulling Kinoshita and Noya closer to him in an awkward, energetic hug. This caused Ennoshita and Sugawara to laugh, which in turn broke the serious atmosphere the third years had just created.

“When will we get to know who we’re up against?” Narita called from the back of the room, looking both interested and nervous. Daichi looked over at Takeda, who shrugged.

“Probably soon,” he pulled his phone out of his pocket, presumably to look at the date. “The start date is almost exactly a month away now, so at the latest, we’ve got two weeks.”

_ Two weeks till we know who we’re going up against,  _ Kageyama noted. Knowing their opponent was vital to practice. It meant they could specifically train for what they needed to depending on their opponents strength and skill sets. Until then, they would have to continue working on basic drills and improving their overall talents. 

“I can’t wait!” Kageyama looked down at Hinata, whose expression matched his statement. He was looking around the team wildly as if trying to judge everyone else’s excitement levels as well. 

“Alright as much fun as it might be to stand around and chit-chat, back to work everyone!” Coach Ukai called, and he received enthusiastic responses from the team. Hinata and Kageyama instantly ran to practice the quick attack as many times as the coach would allow before going into hard-core drill sessions. 

Every time Kageyama set a ball that day felt more significant than it ever had before. He relished in the feeling, and he gave out a lot more high fives and fist bumps than he cared to admit. The entire day felt like it reset something significant, and even the sky felt brighter. Finally, everything was back to normal. 

Hinata and Kageyama walked out of the gym together after waving goodbye to the team that remained. Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Narita had already left, and a few people were hanging out inside the gym as well as in front of it, but that was usual. Within seconds of stepping outside to the slightly chilled air, the two teens were off once again on their race to the front of the school property. They always raced to the gym, but not always away from it. But that night Kageyama was grateful they did. It just reassured him that his friend truly was okay, if he still had energy after all that practice.

“I win!” Kageyama triumphantly shouted when they reached the large opening that served as the entrance to the school. Hinata’s only response was to pout, and he turned his back on Kageyama, muttering some insults under his breath as he went to retrieve his bike. 

“I’ll win next time!” Hinata retorted as he pulled his bike out from the rack and glared at Kageyama. He smiled a few seconds later, however, and waved as he began his return home. Kageyama turned away and began to head back to his own house. He had his gym bag slung over his shoulder, applying a slightly uncomfortable pressure. He looked around at the darkness that surrounded the area where he lived, but he found it somewhat peaceful. 

He didn’t used to think that way however. Kageyama sighed at the bittersweet memories. 

_ Tiny Kageyama sitting alone in the dark, wrapped up in his small blanket, clutching his pillow tightly. Everything around him was dark, he couldn’t see anything and he felt like he was suffocating. Without meaning to, he began to cry, clutching his pillow even tighter as if it could help him ward off the looming blackness. Someone heard him, however, as Kageyama heard his door creak open, a dim light flooding in. He sniffed, desperately trying to wipe the tears off his face.  _

_ “Tobio? Is everything okay?” A husky voice called in through the gap in the door, sounding concerned. _

_ “Kazuyo!” Tiny Kageyama cried when he realized who it was. He hastily detangled himself from his sheets and leaped out of bed, running over to his grandfather and hugging his legs tightly. He looked up at the older man, who knelt to tiny Kageyama’s level.  _

_ “What’s going on Tobio?” He asked, pulling Kageyama in for a hug. “Are you okay?” Tiny Kageyama didn’t know how to respond. He simply gestured around the room blindly, then buried his head back into his grandfather’s shoulder. “Is it too dark in here?” Kageyama nodded. “Well, I’ve got just the thing to fix that, follow me.” _

_ Tiny Kageyama did as instructed, and followed his grandfather out of his bedroom and into the hall. He stood there silently as the old man opened a cabinet and pulled out a box. He set it on the ground in front of the boy and sat beside it. Kageyama sat next to him, looking curiously at the box in the dim light of the hallway. _

_ His grandfather opened it gently, his hands slow and steady. Inside was an assortment of random items, from batteries to old school worksheets. Tiny Kageyama watched as his grandfather rummaged around for a bit, searching for something. After a few moments his grandfather’s eyes lit up, and he pulled out a small object with a triumphant cheer. He held it out to Kageyama inviting him to take it. Kageyama grabbed the item and held it up to look at it. It was a small sun, with a cartoon smile on the front. It was gold and see-through, and its eyes looked on pleasantly. Inside the sun was what looked like a light bulb, and when Kageyama flipped it over to look at the back he saw an electrical plug, presumably so that it would light up.  _

_ “What’s this?” Tiny Kageyama asked when he finished inspecting it. He looked up at his grandfather who took it from the child's hands and stood up. _

_ He held out his hand to Kageyama. “C'mere, I’ll show you,” he said, and when Kageyama grabbed his hand they headed back to the room. His grandfather entered first, pulling an uncertain child behind him. Kageyama looked around nervously, afraid of being surrounded by the darkness again. They walked over to the outlet beside Kageyama’s bed, then stopped. Kageyama’s grandfather bent over and securely placed the sun’s plug into the wall, flipping the small switch on the side as he did so.  _

_ Tiny Kageyama let out a small “whoa,” as the sun began to glow, casting a small area of warmth to combat the darkness. _

_ “There,” Kageyama’s grandfather said in satisfaction. Then he turned and picked up the child, who couldn’t help but let out a small giggle. He set him down in bed, and Kageyama snuggled under the covers. His grandfather sat on the edge of his bed and smiled down at him. “You see that light Tobio?” He asked Kageyama, who nodded, uncertain as to where this was going. “That light will protect you. Your little sun friend is going to keep you safe, alright? He’ll always be here to watch over you.”  _

_ Kageyama nodded again, yawning. “Thank you Kazuyo,” he buried further under the covers until just his head stuck out. “See you in the morning.” _

_ “See you in the morning,” his grandfather patted him on the head, before leaving the room quietly. Tiny Kageyama looked over at his new sun nightlight, already feeling more at ease.  _

_ “Goodnight sun,” he yawned again, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.  _

__ Before Kageyama had even realized it, he was standing in the doorway to his home. He slipped off his shoes and stepped inside, quickly retreating to his room and setting his bed down in its usual spot. He walked over to his nightstand and squatted down, looking for a very specific thing. 

_ Of course it’s still here,  _ he reached out and grabbed the small object, pulling it off the wall. There in his palm sat the small sun nightlight from all those years ago. He blew on it, removing a layer of dust that had built on top of it. He wasn’t much for re-arranging his room, and he had completely forgotten that the small sun was there. He flicked the switch to turn it on and plugged it back into the wall, letting it flood the space under his nightstand with its warm glow. It had the same effect that it did years ago, Kageyama felt safe. 

\-----

“All right!” Hinata cheered as he landed, and Kageyama heard the satisfying slam of the ball landing in on the other side of the court. It had been a few days since Hinata’s return, and Kageyama could see that the young middle blocker was already right back to his usual skill level.

‘Nice job Ginger!” Coach Ukai called from the sidelines with a nod of approval. “You too Kageyama.” 

“Thank you sir!” The two teens replied in unison. 

“Now c'mon over, let’s run some drills!” 

“Sir!”

\----

Kageyama slid down to the floor, exhausted. Coach Ukai had worked them to their breaking points. Kageyama was grateful, they needed the training. But that didn’t stop him from leaning his head against the wall, shutting his eyes in an attempt to control his breathing and get his strength back. All of his limbs felt shaky and his entire body felt covered in sweat. 

“Tough practice, eh?” Kageyama looked up to see Sugawara standing beside him, stretching. He looked nearly as exhausted as Kageyama felt, and he could see the teen’s grey hair plastered to his head. The dark-haired setter was too out of breath to formulate a response so he just nodded and closed his eyes again. He could hear the different conversations going on around him, of his teammates either ecstatic over the rough practice or grumbling about it. 

“I should've stayed home today,” Kageyama heard Kinoshita complain.

“Gonna quit again?” Narita teased his friend good-naturedly. 

“Nobody is quitting,” Daichi’s voice chimed in. 

“Man that was fun,” Kageyama looked up at the sound of Hinata’s voice, and he quickly spotted the ginger-haired teen chatting with Tanaka and Nishinoya. The two second years nodded enthusiastically. Kageyama noted that none of them looked as exhausted as a normal human would be, and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at their stamina. Once he regained his breath he stood up and walked over to their little group. Nishinoya was going on a tangent about something he had done on some trip, and Tanaka and Hinata were listening intensely. Kageyama hesitated to interrupt, but he wanted to get at least one more quick attack before heading home for the night. It was Saturday night, meaning they didn’t have practice the next day. 

Once he was close enough to the group he awkwardly cleared his throat, trying to get Hintata’s attention. When the ginger didn’t look up at him he tried again with an uncertain “hey,” Tanaka looked up, apparently the only one to hear him.

“Yeah Kageyama?” He asked, looking slightly confused. He then saw where Kageyama was looking and smirked. “Ah, I see.”

“What?” Kageyama asked, and Nishinoya paused his story and turned to see what was going on. “I just wanted to see if Hinata wanted to practice a few more quick attacks before we’re kicked out. 

“Sureeee,” Tanaka smiled, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant. If Kageyama had to use a word to describe it, teasing would fit best. “C’mon Noya I see where we’re not wanted.” Tanaka began to walk away with Nishinoya, who still looked lost, in pursuit. 

“What was that all about?” Hinata asked, looking baffled. 

Kageyama shrugged. “Beats me.”

“You said you wanted to run through the quick attack?” 

“If you’re up for it,”

“Of course I am!” Hinata dashed off to pick up a volleyball off the floor, one of the few that hadn’t been put away yet. He raced back to Kageyama, clutching the ball in his hands in anticipation. 

“Not too many guys, we have to close up the gym soon!” Takeda called from his position on the side of the gym, and the two boys nodded, already rushing towards the court. 

They did more than just a few, getting easily lost in the familiar pattern of sets and spikes. Kageyama felt more alive than ever when he was performing with Hinata, something always made him feel unstoppable. 

_ But that’s what we are, aren’t we?  _ Kageyama remembered the nickname they had been given when they began to get the hang of the freak quick.  _ We’re Karasuno’s unstoppable weapon. _ The name wasn’t exactly literal in the sense that nobody could ever beat them, it was more the idea that nothing would be able to keep them down for long. And that’s exactly how Kageyama felt. The two of them had been through a lot together, both good and bad things. Even if they had only joined the team less than a year ago, it already felt like they had been worked together forever. They had won games together and lost games together. They had fought more times than Kageyama could count, but they had also built a lot up together. Kageyama couldn’t imagine his life without Hinata, or the team. 

“Alright you two, that’s enough!” Kageyama looked up to see Daichi standing at the entrance to the gym sternly. Kageyama looked around to see the room nearly empty except for the two teens still standing on the court, and Daichi and Sugawara standing in the doorway. 

“Haven’t you practiced enough for the day?” Sugawara stepped out from beside the captain, yawning. “You must be tired.” 

“Not really,” Kageyama shrugged, though the moment he said it the exhaustion hit him and he yawned. 

Daichi just sighed. “Whether you are or aren’t isn’t the point, you both need to get home.”

“Yes sir,” they both responded. The teens rushed to finish cleaning everything up with the help of the two third years. 

“Alright, see you both on Monday!” Sugawara called to them, shutting the gym doors and beginning a casual stroll to the front of the school. Daichi nodded to back up his friend’s statement, and then he too left the first years standing by the gym in the darkness. 

“Practice was amazing today,” Hinata said blissfully, securing his gym bag on his shoulder. 

“It was if you like being totally wiped out,” Kageyama teased, though he felt the same way.

“Hey I didn’t get as tired as you did! You looked about ready to collapse!” Hinata retorted, looking annoyed. Kageyama refused to let that slide.

“Well excuse me, I’m not an endless ball of energy!”

“Are too!”

“Did you just… Compliment me?” Kageyama barely suppressed a chuckle. 

“Shut up Kageyama!” Hinata pouted again, and Kageyama could tell he was getting more agitated. They began to walk towards the front of the school, their exhaustion finally setting. It was quiet, quieter than usual. Kageyama couldn’t tell if it was because of how tired they were, if Hinata had something on his mind, or simply the atmosphere. But whatever it was, Kageyama wasn’t complaining. They reached the point where they usually split up sooner than Kageyama would have liked, he didn’t want their walk to end. He didn’t feel quite ready to say goodbye to the ginger, and he suddenly had an idea. 

“Do you… Maybe wanna hang out tomorrow?” He asked, breaking the silence. Hinata, who had just been reaching for his bike handle, stopped and turned to face the dark-haired setter. 

“Uh… Sure! The usual place?” Hinata asked, looking up towards Kageyama, who thought he saw a tinge of color on the older teen’s cheeks. 

_ It is getting kinda cold out,  _ he thought, looking away from Hinata, the sight of the flush on his friend’s face making him slightly warm for some reason.  _ We should probably hurry home.  _ “Yeah.”

“Awesome! What time?” 

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll text you later and we can figure it out then.” Kageyama didn’t feel like setting up any specifics, he felt weak and exhausted, and he could tell Hinata was too just by looking at him. 

“Alright!” Hinata returned to his task of securing his bike in his grasp and wheeling it out of where it had previously been stored. “See you tomorrow then!” 

“See ya.”

\-----------

“Where is he?” Kageyama muttered as he checked his phone for the fifth time in the past minute. A quarter of an hour had passed since their arranged meeting time, and Hinata still hadn't arrived. Kageyama was trying not to stress out over it too much, but the first year was usually early to things, so it was concerning for him to be so late. 

He was just about to head down the hill and over to Hinata’s house when he heard panting coming from the other side of the tree. Kageyama rushed over to see his friend racing up the hill, a light grey hoodie shifting as he moved. 

“H... Hey,” he breathed, reaching the top of the hill. 

“Where were you?!” Kageyama tried not to shout, but some of his concern must have leaked into his voice because the orange-haired teen looked up, slightly apologetically. 

“Sorry Kageyama, my mom wanted me to help Natsu with something and then I was messing around with the volleyball in my yard and I just kinda lost track of time,” Hinata fidgeted with his sleeves, looking sheepish. “Why, were you worried about me?”

“Of course not!” Kageyama turned away indignantly, heading back to the tree. He flopped down at the base, leaning against the trunk and picking up a few scattered leaves from the ground. He kept his gaze fixed on the brown and orange dying plants as he heard Hinata sit down beside him. 

The tree on the hill was their usual hangout spot. When they first joined the volleyball club, they were enemies. It took Kageyama awhile to see that Hinata was on the same side of the court as him and that they weren’t truly adversaries anymore. At least for the time being, they were allies. They began to hang out at school, sometimes meeting up to eat lunch, and often walking to practice together. 

It wasn’t until a few months later that Hinata invited Kageyama to hang out outside of school. 

_ “Hey, I know this is sudden, but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend.” Kageyama looked up to see Hinata staring at him, fidgeting with the volleyball that he was supposed to put away.  _

_ “Uh… Why?” He asked bluntly, not thinking about how rude it may have come off.  _

_ “I don’t know,” Hinata looked more uncertain, staring down at the volleyball nervously. “I just figured since we’re ya know... Kinda friends?” The small ginger paused as if he wasn’t sure the term applied to the two of them. “I don’t know, I thought we could work on some techniques or just talk or something. It was just an idea, you don’t have to say yes.”  _

_ Kageyama agreed without thinking about it further. Something drew him to the teen, and something in his gut told him that pursuing a friendship with this person in front of him was the right decision.  _

_ So a few days later, Kageyama found himself checking his phone once again to make sure he had the meeting place right. He looked up to the sound of a volleyball connecting with something, and he saw his teammate standing on top of a hill with a large tree, bouncing a volleyball off the trunk and attempting to receive it. Kageyama stood and watched for a few minutes before the ginger noticed him. _

_ “Kageyama! Come up here!” Hinata shouted, tucking the volleyball under his arm and waving excitedly.  _

__ Since that day, Kageyama had made many trips to the tree on the hill with his teammate-turned-friend. There was no specific reason they would go there, just whenever they both felt like it. Whatever they did depended on the day too. Often one or both would bring a volleyball and they’d practice techniques, someone constantly running to retrieve balls that would roll down the hill. Other days they’d just sit under the tree and chat, about practice, about the team, about the school, whatever came to mind that day. There were even some days they did nothing at all, just sitting under the tree in comfortable silence until someone had to leave. 

No matter what they were doing, the days they spent upon the hill with the tree were special to Kageyama. When they were on top of it, Kageyama felt like they could conquer anything. 

Hinata interrupted Kageyama’s reminiscing. “What do you think is gonna happen at the game?” He asked, looking over at the setter. Kageyama earnestly thought for a moment, trying to gauge his thoughts. 

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “I’m pretty confident we’ll win, and I know we can. But I guess it also depends on who we’re up against, we should figure it out in about a week or so. So I can only really give you an answer when I know that. Whoever it is though, I know we can beat them. We just have to play our cards right.” Hinata looked thoughtful, taking in the other first year’s words. 

“I guess that makes sense,” he responded rationally. “I guess I’m just a little worked up. The third years seem so confident that we’re going to win, and I want to believe them. After all, they’ve sacrificed so much for us, I feel like we owe it to them to do well. But still… After the Aoba Johsai game…” Hinata trailed off, and Kageyama wondered if his friend was remembering the same events as he was. 

It wasn’t easy to forget the frustration he felt after returning home from the game they lost a few months back, and after they were so close too. The victory was in reach, and yet they still ended up losing. Kageyama remembered replaying moments of the game over and over in his head that night, wondering what he could have done better, what he could have fixed, the areas where if he had just been a little better- but that was no way to go about things. They had lost, and eventually, Kageyama realized that no matter how many what-ifs he came up with, it wouldn’t change the outcome of the match.

All they could do was work harder, practice more, and get better for their next game. Which they had been. Kageyama had never worked harder on something in his life, practicing constantly just for the upcoming games in the tournament. And he knew Hinata had been too, excepting the weeks he just had to sit out. So looking at it logically, they were more than ready.

Still, Kageyama understood why Hinata was stressing so much about the game. This was the last tournament they’d ever play with the third years. They had already won against two schools, but that meant it was just getting harder. They had to win these four upcoming games or their hopes of ever getting to Nationals would be destroyed quickly. They had to do it now, or it might not ever happen.

“There’s no point in stressing about it before it happens,” Kageyama attempted to comfort his friend. He knew the statement was hypocritical, as he was severely stressed about it himself. But it was the only thing he could think of to say, he had never been the best at words.

“I guess you’re right,” Hinata sighed. The setter watched as his friend tilted his head up, watching a leaf slowly fall to the ground. “We just have to bring our best, and then some more.” 

“Exactly.” 

\-------------

Kageyama woke up the next Saturday and rushed to get ready. It was an important day, October 6th, the day they would be figuring out the lineup for the next phase of the tournament. He shoved breakfast down before racing out the door, eager to receive the news that could drastically affect the team's morale. 

He headed to school as fast as he could without exhausting himself. He kept up a light jog to the spot he met Hinata, who was putting his bike in the rack.

“Hey Kageyama!” The ginger turned to face the taller teen after locking up his ride. Kageyama lifted his hand in a slight wave, too caught up in his anticipation to worry about carrying a proper conversation. Hinata must have sensed this, because without beginning his usual chit-chat he took off, rushing towards the gym without giving Kageyama time to respond. 

The race was on. Kageyama extended his legs as far as they could go, desperate to catch up to the middle blocker. It was the beginning of October, and Kageyama could feel the air beginning to chill slightly with each inhaled breath. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to signify that they were well into fall.

In the end, Kageyama’s efforts weren’t enough and Hinata beat him. They both collapsed to the ground, panting heavily in an attempt to regain their stamina. Multiple teammates passed by, which was strange since Hinata and Kageyama were usually the only ones there at that time, but Kageyama paid them no mind. 

After a few minutes of resting Kageyama got back up and lifted his bag that he had chucked. He threw it over his shoulder and began to make his way to the club room to change. He was so preoccupied with thoughts on who they were going up against that he didn’t bother to see if Hinata was following. 

The teen methodically went through the rhythm of getting changed into his gym clothes, leaving his bag in the room and only bringing his sweat rag and water bottle. 

Kageyama could feel the anxiety clawing its way up to his throat as he entered the gym, his eyes flitting around the room to take note of its occupants. The three third years were stretching in the corner. Asahi had his back to the tall setter so he couldn’t see his expression, but Kageyama could see the excitement and nervousness resting on both Daichi and Sugawara’s faces. 

Next Kageyama turned towards the sound of voices, quickly spotting Yachi and Kiyoko chatting by the scoreboard. Takeda was lingering there along with Coach Ukai. 

_ Nearly everyone is already here,  _ Kageyama counted in his head. He didn’t know what he was expecting, everyone must have been feeling as excited as he was. Kageyama stared at the club advisor for a little while longer, scanning the man up and down for any notice of the announcement. 

Usually the team could have just checked online, but the list wasn’t officially posted on the internet till the next day. So Kageyama paced impatiently, waiting for everyone to arrive in the gym. Soon more people started coming through the doors, including Hinata, who headed over to stand next to the setter. Kageyama noticed the teen could hardly keep his excitement contained, as he occupied himself with his habit of bouncing on his toes.

This was just one of the things Kageyama had noticed about the small middle blocker since the day they had met. Hinata had a lot of mannerisms that were unique to him, like the little movements he did when he became excited, or the odd choices of words he would use to describe things that made him happy. At first, Kageyama had thought everything Hinata had done was weird, but now, as he watched him in the middle of his antics, Kageyama realized they made him smile.

“Alright gather around!” The slightly husky voice of the coach called the team to the side of the gym. Kageyama quickly followed the instructions, the sound of squeaking shoes alerting that the rest of the team was doing the same. 

_ There’s still a lot of us in the running,  _ Kageyama pondered as he sat down.  _ There’s no way to fully predict what team we’ll be up against. The best we can do is hope that we aren’t matched up with the strongest teams right away. _

__ “Alright,” Takeda took the front of the room, looking out towards his team. Kageyama saw him hold up a piece of paper, reading it over before speaking again. “I’m sure you’re all dying to know who we’ve got first,” he began, lifting his eyes from the paper. 

“Who is it?” Hinata called out prematurely, causing Daichi to sigh. The teacher took a deep breath before announcing: 

“Our first match is against Johzenji high.”

“I haven’t heard much about them, what are they like?” Sugawara spoke up after a few seconds of silence. Takeda fixed his gaze on the third-year setter as if contemplating his answer. 

“Well, I was reading up a bit on all the teams we’d possibly be going against last night,” he paused briefly to walk over to his stuff, pulling a notebook out of the front pocket of his bag. Kageyama stared at the little book, his curiosity climaxing. The adult returned to his position and continued:

“All the information I could find about their school is they’re wilder than any of the other teams we’ve played. They’re chaotic and unpredictable, completely different from the well-oiled machines that teams like Nekoma and Date Tech are. This may sound like we have the advantage, but I don’t know if that’s the case. Since they play so freely, they’re also extremely adaptable. They’re good at trying new things in the middle of a match, and nobody can compete with them in spirit. Their team consists of second years, all of their third years excepting their manager left after the last Interhigh tournament.” Takeda read off his notebook without taking a breath, trying to get as much information as he could into the team. 

_ Unpredictable, huh.  _ Kageyama took a mental note of the teacher’s words. They didn’t sound impossible to beat, which made him hopeful. 

“Is that all?” Kageyama heard the captain speak up from where he was sitting. 

“Uh-huh,” Takeda rubbed the back of his head and frowned slightly “sorry that’s all I got. There were a lot of teams to cover so I didn’t have time to get a ton of information on all of them.”

“No no no that was amazing, thank you so much,” the third year stood up and walked up to the front of the gym, lightly resting his hand on the teacher’s shoulder in a gesture of appreciation. Takeda gave a small bow in thanks, then gave Daichi the spotlight. 

The captain turned to face the team, and the excited chatter that had begun to surface at the announcement settled down as the team gave their full attention to the Daichi. 

“Alright guys,” the wing spiker looked out at the team, making eye contact with many of them, including Kageyama. In that moment of looking at each other, Kageyama could tell that the older teen was dead serious about whatever he was about to say. “I know we’re all stressed, at least, I know I am. But we are a team. A good one at that. It’s like Sugawara said the other day. Keep the same energy towards practice, and I do not doubt that we can win this.” 

The speech wasn’t long, nor did it go in-depth, but Kageyama could tell it took its effect on the entire team; they were looking around at each other with the air of determination weighing down on them. Within a few minutes, the entire team was back at work. Something about it felt livelier than usual. Kageyama wasn’t sure whether it was the announcements, the anticipation of the upcoming events, or simply all being together as a team, but everyone seemed like they giving it their all that night. It was one of the best practices they had in a while. 

\--------

Kageyama became so enveloped in practices that before he knew it, it was already October 24th, the night before the first day of the tournament. They had spent countless days in the gym, visiting pretty much every day. A few members of the team would arrive hours early, or stay hours later. They had kept up the adrenaline that they were hoping to, and everyone was making great progress. 

But as usual, Kageyama and Hinata were working harder than anyone. They had gotten into trouble with the adults and older members of the team more times they could remember, always getting warned about over practicing. But that never stopped the two motivated teens. Even if they couldn’t practice at the gym, they would still spend their time working on whatever they could. Their trips to the tree had significantly increased, and they would even go there after practice ended to work on their techniques late into the night.

And that was exactly where they were heading at that very moment. Hinata rolled his bike beside him, and Kageyama strolled on the other side. The practice had ended a few minutes before, but the setter wasn’t content. Coach Ukai had left them with strict orders to go straight home and rest as much as they could before the game tomorrow, but the dark-haired first year didn’t feel like he would be able to sleep easily. And Hinata must have felt the same way because when Kageyama invited him to the tree on the hill once again, the middle blocker accepted without hesitation. It was rare for the two boys to not be exchanging playful banter or insults, but Kageyama was so wrapped up in his thoughts of the next day that he didn’t engage at all. 

After a few minutes they arrived at the base of the hill. Kageyama knew they couldn’t stay too long, otherwise, they would get in more trouble than he felt like dealing with. The setter watched as Hinata leaned his bike against the base of the hill, and then the two of them began to climb, the silence between them still lingering. 

The ginger first year had a volleyball tucked under his arm, and as soon as they reached the top of the hill he tossed it to Kageyama. 

“Set for me?” He asked, breathing slightly heavily from the uphill climb. Kageyama agreed with a nod and spun the ball around in his palms a few times to remember the feel for it. He was feeling strangely good at the moment. He would often get in this mode, where everything just felt like it was in the right place. The ball would fit in his palm better, his shoes would form to his feet better, and even his hair would fall nicer than on any other day. All Kageyama could hope for is that this feeling would carry on until the next day, allowing him to bring his best to the match. 

The first year tossed up the ball, curving his hands to prepare for a perfect set. Perfect it was. The ball landed in his palm at directly the angle he had predicted it would, and he set it towards Hinata in a perfect arch. The setter’s gaze flashed towards the middle blocker just in time to see the young teen’s face light up, before leaping up to spike the ball. Kageyama watched his form intensely. Something seemed slightly off about it but he couldn’t place it. Hinata seemed smaller than before, but maybe it was just in contrast to the giant tree that loomed behind him. 

“I’ll get it!” Kageyama blinked. He had been completely focused on Hinata to the point where he didn’t pay attention to the ball at all. He wildly looked around to see where it had gone, only to see it picking up speed as it rolled down the hill, the ginger-haired boy chasing after it. There was a mark on the ground where the volleyball had slammed to the grass, tearing up a few blades. 

They were powerful, and at that moment Kageyama felt reassured about the next day. If the two of them simply stuck together, their attack could get through anything. So when Hinata arrived back on top of the hill, panting harder than usual, Kageyama suggested they headed home for the night. And while Hinata complained, he eventually complied.

The two teens went their separate ways, and Kageyama rushed home quickly to make sure he got as much sleep as he could before the next long, and stressful day.

\--------

“Everyone ready?” Takeda checked his clipboard to ensure everyone was there, quickly doing a headcount of the students. He nodded his head as if to confirm everything matched up, and then gestured for everyone to get on the bus. It was finally the day of the tournament. Kageyama looked down at his hands as he boarded the bus, feeling the nervousness building within him.

His teammates chatted excitedly, the noise rocketing around the bus. Without too many hiccups they were on their way. On their way to their first match of the spring tournament. Just by the amount of noise everyone was making, Kageyama could tell that the people around him were feeling the same things that he was. 

The ride to Sendai city gymnasium was loud, hectic, and eventful. Conversations were going on the entire way, from challenges to a discussion about the opposing teams to talking about the area they would be playing at. Kageyama mostly kept to himself, too distracted trying to make plans in his head to make any more conversation other than a few smart remarks or complaints here and there. 

They arrived quicker than Kageyama had expected to. He was so caught up in the anticipation that the time flew by quickly. There was a lot of shuffling of bags and limbs as the Karasuno team got off their ride, and the setter tried to escape the mess as quickly as could. Once they were outside, he took a look at the place they were about to compete at. 

“We’re finally gonna get our revenge.” Kageyama looked around to see who had spoken, and he saw Hinata standing there, looking breathless and slightly pale, but more determined than ever. As the dark-haired teen gazed around the team, he could their mentality matched the first year's words. The defeat of the last Interhigh was devastating, but they had worked so hard for this. So no matter what happened, no matter who they were up against, Kageyama knew they were prepared. 

His internal monologue was cut off by a flash of ginger that passed by him. Kageyama blinked, confused, before realizing that Hinata had taken off towards the gym, his hair rippling backward in the motion he was creating. 

“Hey that’s not fair, slow down!” Kageyama shouted, not hesitating another second before taking off after the other first year. He could hear the disapproving sighs of his teammates but he paid no mind to them as he rushed after his friend. 

He skidded to a halt and began to walk, noticing the scene that was going on before him. Hinata had collided with some kid in a yellow jacket, who was now looking over the short teen's shoulder and straight at the rest of the Karasuno team. Around the guy were a bunch of other people in the same attire, probably one of the teams there to compete that day. 

The stranger lifted his hand in a wave, and Kageyama looked back and forth between the two teams, trying to figure out who he was waving at. His question didn’t take long to be answered, however, as the dude who looked like trouble spoke in a joyous tone:

“Hey glasses girl! You didn’t give me your number the other day!” Kageyama looked back at his team and saw Kiyoko looking away, slightly annoyed. He realized that this was bad news, as he knew two members of the team did not take well to people hitting on their precious team manager. 

_ Oh this should be interesting, _ Kageyama smirked to himself, and took a step back to be out of the line of fire. Daichi tried to stop Tanaka and Nishinoya, and even Sugawara looked slightly distressed as the two second years charged towards the guy who had just flirted with Kiyoko.

“Hey stop! I’m so sorry about my team, they get carried away sometimes,” a new voice spoke, and Kageyama looked back at the team in yellow to see a girl in the same jacket as the rest of them bent in a low bow. She stood upright and Kageyama could tell she meant what she had said. 

_ Huh, is that girl their manager?  _ The setter tried to piece together everything that was going on. Hinata had stepped back and was now standing right next to Kageyama, who looked at his shorter friend. Hinata looked slightly shaken by the encounter, and his mouth hung open as he too observed the scene that was unfolding before them. 

The rest of the opposing team made their way inside, except for the girl who had just spoken and the guy who had hit on the Karasuno manager. The dude looked Hinata and Kageyama up and down before he also turned his back to them and began heading inside. 

“See you in the first match, Karasuno.” He drew out their team name as he walked away, adding an infectious tone to the statement. Kageyama turned towards the lineup board that had been placed near the front of the school and scanned his eyes over it till he found their school. Sure enough, it had been listed right there. 

“Karasuno vs. Johzenji,” Hinata read aloud, and Kageyama saw his eyes widen in realization. “You think that was them Kageyama?”

“Has to be,” The tall teen turned back towards the line up, trying to study it.

“You know…” Hinata continued, “Every team here is at least decent. I mean, they made it here after all.”

“But we’re going to beat them,” Kageyama randomly felt a burst of motivation. He stepped away from the board and took off towards the entrance to the building. He heard Hinata cheer behind him before the two of them entered the doors to where they were competing. 

“Whoa…” Kageyama heard Hinata breathe as the two teens looked around the venue. The entire place was lit up with colors, people stood all around wearing different colors, and there were brightly colored bags lining the ground. The chatter of excited athletes drowned out almost anything else that was going on. The room was filled with lots of hustle and bustle, and there were lots of people scrambling as well as many athletes relaxing, as it probably wasn’t their time to play yet.

The entire thing felt like a completely different world. They had gone to an Interhigh tournament before, but it had nearly been five months since that had happened, plenty of time to forget the high-paced atmosphere that was the entrance hall to competitions. 

“It’s magnificent, isn’t it?” Sugawara walked up behind the two energetic first years, who nodded enthusiastically. The third-year laughed and then sighed. “I’m so glad I decided to come back. I'm glad I get the chance to stand here like this, with my team, even if it's for the last time.” There was a note of wistfulness in his voice that reminded Kageyama once again of the short amount of time that they had left with their third years. They had to make this competition count. 

“I’m… Gonna go to the bathroom,” the setter looked down to see Hinata looking even paler than before, his excitement of being in the room quickly getting replaced with stress. 

“Don’t spend too long in there!” Yamaguchi called, looking slightly concerned as Hinata ran off.

“Every competition,” Tanaka rolled his eyes. “You’d think he’d eventually get used to it.”

“Relax Tanaka, he’s still fairly new at this,” the grey-haired third year shrugged. Kageyama tried to figure out how the rest of the team was feeling. All the third years were standing off to the side, looking calmer than Kageyama felt. Yamaguchi and Kinoshita on the other hand looked completely stressed out. And there were a few people who fell in between, like Tsukishima, who had a completely blank expression, and Narita, who looked slightly nervous, but was still staying fairly composed. 

“Alright everyone, gather around,” Coach Ukai motioned for the team to close in. Takeda stood beside him, gripping the sheet of paper with the team lineups on it. He stepped into the circle huddle that was forming and handed the paper to the team captain. 

Daichi grabbed it and looked it over, as if trying to take in every detail on the sheet. 

“It’s been updated,” his eyes widened as he stared at the piece of paper. “We now know who’s playing where, and when.” Sugawara peered over the other third year’s shoulder, intent on looking for himself. 

“So who’s up first?” Ennoshita spoke. The second-year looked mostly calm, though Kageyama suspected that it may just be an act. Daichi nodded in response to the question and pointed to the sheet. 

“Of the teams we know,” the captain began, looking down the list as if to double-check. “Shiratorizawa is on court A, and Seijoh is playing on court B. Our game is directly after theirs, as soon as one of the courts frees up.”

“Based on current rankings, I’d say we’ll be on court A,” Asahi stepped behind the two shorter third years and stared at the piece of paper as well. “I’ve never even heard of the team Shiratorizwa is up against, so I doubt they’ll last very long.”

“You’ve got a point Asahi,” Coach Ukai commented, and Kageyama looked up to see the coach smirking slightly. “But it’s the same as our case. Nobody knows much about us, half the teams here have probably never even heard our name before. But does that mean we’re going to lose today?”

“No sir!” Karasuno responded enthusiastically. Their presence felt more powerful than ever, Kageyama could tell. Something felt strange about the tournament. He wasn’t sure what it was, he wasn’t sure whether it was good or bad. But either way, he knew something was going to be different that day. 

“What did I miss?” Someone called from behind Kageyama, causing him to jump.

“Don’t sneak up on people like that dumbass,” Kageyama snarked, feeling really hot suddenly. 

“But I didn’t sneak up on you,” Hinata looked confused. 

“Shut up dumbass.”

“Did you just use the same insult twice?” Tsukishima spoke up, pulling his headphones down to his neck. 

“You shut up too!” 

\----------

Kageyama jumped up and down, trying to get some more feeling into his legs. They had just about finished warming up, and it looked like Shiritorizawa’s game was going to be over soon, just as Asahi had predicted. 

“I’m so excited!” Hinata stood beside Kageyama, shaking his hands, emphasizing his statement. The two of them had run over their quick attack as many times as the captain would allow before the game began.

“Alright everyone line up!” Takeda shouted, drawing the attention of the entire team. They did as they were told, getting into formation and exiting the practice area to begin heading over to where they would be playing in their official match. 

The gym was huge, with high ceilings and many rows of seats. There weren’t a ton of people in those seats, but there were still enough to draw out another gasp from the middle blocker who walked behind Kageyama. The setter rolled his eyes but the small sound from the ginger made him feel more at ease. His anxiety about Hinata hadn’t dropped since his visit to the hospital, and he didn’t think it was going to change anytime soon. His nerves had gone down slightly every practice that his friend had proved that he was okay again, but he wasn’t sure it would ever fully leave. 

So when they split up in the gym while everything got set up, Kageyama kept his eyes on Hinata, who had gone over to talk to Yamaguchi but instead found himself next to Tsukishima. The setter watched as the teen animatedly talked to the other middle blocker about something. Hinata looked healthy enough. Nothing about him had changed drastically, other than him looking a bit paler than usual. But Kageyama simply chalked it up to the weather changes and moved on, still clinging to the fact that everything was going to be okay.

A few minutes later they were called to bow in, and they quickly moved to do so, getting into formation once again. Kageyama rhythmically went through the motions, hardly listening to anything that was going on around him. 

Once all the formalities had been taken care of, Coach Ukai called them into a huddle one final time before the game started. “We’re finally here. From further research, this team was one of the best at the Interhigh prelims. This may sound a bit scary, but I think it’ll make for a more interesting match. So go out there and do your best, alright?” The coach waited until he saw the team nod. “Alright Asahi, you’re up first. Get a good serve in, alright?” 

Kageyama quickly headed out to the court, his heartbeat matching the squeak of his shoes hitting the ground. 

_ Coach was right, we’re here.  _ He couldn’t say for certain he knew exactly what it meant, but it reminded him that nothing else mattered at the moment.  _ Nothing else matters right now but this game _ . 

\-----------

“Nice receive Daichi!” Tanaka called out. Kageyama panted slightly, his eyes quickly flitting around the court, trying to find the ball. They were about fifteen minutes into the match, with a score of 10 to 10. The score was tied. Karasuno still hadn't used the main weapon in their arsenal, however. 

_ There! _ Kageyama spotted the ball moving through the air, and without thinking twice about it he shifted his feet towards it.  _ Is it time yet? Is he ready? No! No time to think about that. Hinata’s got this. _ Kageyama sent the ball directly towards the tiny middle blocker who had already leapt off the ground without hesitation. 

_ Will it make it? Was that good enough? _ Kageyama landed and turned quickly, then watched as the ball soared through the air and connected with the palm of the ginger teen. The ball slammed down on Johzenji’s side of the court before the opposing team had time to react.

“ALRIGHT!” Hinata landed and raced towards Kageyama, a huge grin on his face. He looked out of breath and more flushed than usual, the excitement completely lighting up his face. He held his hands out for a high-five, to which Kageyama met with a little too much aggression, judging by the look of pain on the middle blocker’s face. 

“Awesome work you two!” Daichi gave the duo a thumbs up. “Let’s keep going at them just like that, there’s no way we can lose.”

“Right!”

Kageyama returned to his spot, intent on performing with the same level of skill. He could feel the sting in his palms, but whether that was from the volleyball or the high-five he couldn’t tell. Either way, the feeling comforted him, and he got the next few sets in with ease, hardly letting the other team get a chance to earn any points or to stop their attacks. The other team seemed like they were falling apart slightly, their players constantly crashing into each other and making such a racket that Kageyama could hardly believe they were playing in an official match.

Soon enough Karasuno had a two-point lead on the team in yellow, with a scorecard that read 19 to 17. The other team’s chaos led Kageyama to feel like he had more freedom, and he took advantage of that to see how many crazy attacks he could help to make. He felt satisfaction coursing through him when they succeeded, leading him to feel more and more confident that they had this game in the bag. 

Suddenly Kageyama saw a ball heading straight towards the player in front of him, and without thinking twice he jumped up to prevent the ball from reaching Karasuno's side of the court. The block was successful, and it even earned their team a point, however it came with a cost.

Kageyama landed on the floor, wincing. He felt something dripping out of his nose and he lifted a hand to investigate, feeling pain rushing to his face. 

“Time out!” Takeda called, and Kageyama brought his hand down to see it completely covered in blood. 

“Oh my god Kageyama are you okay?” Hinata looked completely in distress, shaking slightly. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” Kageyama wiped his nose with his hand again, attempting to clear away the blood so they could get back to the game. “See everything-”

“Kageyama no, you gotta sit out!” Daichi interrupted, and his expression told Kageyama that it wasn’t up for debate. The setter ignored that, however, and persisted:

“No Daichi I swear I’m fine!”

“How can you even say that?” Tsukishima looked at him, disgusted. “At least step off the court until you stop bleeding.”

“But-”

“No, none of that,” Kageyama was interrupted once again, by Coach Ukai this time. “Go get yourself looked over, you can rejoin the game once the bleeding stops.

“Don’t worry Kageyama, I’ve got this!” Hinata looked slightly weak but determined despite that. 

“But I-”

“C’mon Kageyama,” it was Yamaguchi this time, and the first year went behind the setter and began to push him off of the court, not up for any more arguments. 

“Don’t worry, leave it to your upperclassmen,” Kageyama craned his neck to see Sugawara smirking. He finally relented, and let Yamaguchi drag him off the court and to the medical area. 

It didn’t take long for the bleeding to stop, and Kageyama rushed back to the gym as soon as he could, with Yachi, who had taken Yamaguchi’s place taking care of the setter, trailing behind him. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw Narita standing on the court when he returned, and to see Hinata off of it. He quickly informed Coach Ukai that he was alright, and then followed instructions to go stand in the benching area. 

Usually that would have bothered him, but he was too curious about the switching of players to mind. 

“So I recall you said that you had this?” The dark-haired teen asked once he was standing next to Hinata. The ginger seemed tired for some reason, but it was nearly completely masked by his excitement. 

“Coach wanted me to watch some of Narita’s playstyle,” Hinata explained without taking his eyes off the court. “I wanna be able to do everything he can and more!” Kageyama didn’t know how to respond so he just nodded and turned his attention back to the game. 

He couldn’t help but wonder if that was the reason the coach had taken the middle blocker off the court. Sure, Narita was a well-rounded player and there were probably some things that Hinata could learn from him. Still, this didn’t feel like a good time for that.

_ So was he really just concerned about Hinata overworking himself?  _ Kageyama pondered, his eyes hardly taking in any of the match before him.  _ Did something happen? Did the coach notice something? Or am I just being paranoid?  _ He shook his head violently, trying to get his focus back on what mattered at the moment. 

“YES!” The three first years who stood in the benching area cheered as their team scored another point. They were still in the lead by two, but by the time Kageyama had left and came back the scorecards were all the way up 23 to 21 points.

“We’re not going to lose this game!” Kageyama and Hinata shouted at the same time. The setter looked down at the shorter teen and smiled, and Hinata returned the expression. 

A few seconds later they were at set point, and Narita was up to serve. Kageyama watched as the middle blocker sent the ball over, but it was quickly received by Johzenji’s Libero. The other team's player sent it up towards the setter and then-

“Are they trying to do a synchronized attack?!” Kageyama nearly shouted, completely bewildered by the sight. 

“What the-” Ennoshita exclaimed, sounding equally confused. All they could do was watch as the ball soared in a perfect arc towards the moving captain, who jumped as high as he could to connect with it. 

Except things didn’t go as planned, at least, not as it was probably planned. The ball soared a couple of inches over the captain’s fingertips and crashed to the floor with a _ thud. _

_ “ _ Huh…?” Ennoshita questioned, still sounding completely baffled. 

“What made them think that was a good idea?” Kinoshita looked like he couldn’t decide whether to smack his forehead or laugh. 

“Whatever made them think it was… Was obviously wrong.” Yamaguchi chimed in, causing the group to laugh slightly. And just like that, the first set was over. They had won, 25 to 21. They quickly raced to change sides, the excited banter of the team continuing as they went.

“Seriously what was that?” Narita questioned from where he was walking beside Kageyama, his voice relaying his uncertainty. 

“I guess it’s in their play style,” Sugwara shrugged, sounding just as lost as the rest of them. “Either way we won the set, so it’s good for us.” 

“You’re right,” Daichi agreed. “We can definitely use their recklessness to our advantage.” 

“Your captain is right,” Coach Ukai called them all to gather around once again. “Now I know we just took the first set, which is good, and I’m proud of all of you.” He looked around at each of them confidently. “Now don’t let that cause you to drop your guard. This is still anyone’s game, and I need you guys to keep up the same energy you had for this set in the next one, alright?”

The team responded enthusiastically, and Coach Ukai nodded his approval. “Now get back out there!” 

At the sound of the whistle blow the team raced back out the court with their starting lineup. Kageyama could hear Hinata jumping up and down in place once they were on the court, probably trying to get himself psyched up. The small first year started yelling slightly in excitement, and Kageyama joined in with his own:

“We’ve got this!” 

“Make sure you stay calm you guys!” Sugawara shouted from the sidelines, and Kageyama took his words in and took a deep breath, trying to keep his excitement in check. 

They were going to win this set, and then the next game, and one after that.

This time, they weren’t going to lose.

\----------

The entire arena felt deadly quiet. Not a single sound could be heard, it was if the entire gym was holding its breath. The silence was only broken by a  _ thunk _ , the sound confirming the Karasuno team’s spot at Nationals.

It had officially been two days since the section of the Spring Interhigh had begun, but at that moment it felt like it had passed in the blink of an eye. 

_ We won.  _

Kageyama had to repeat the words to himself over and over before he could feel his body again. 

_ We won. _

__ They did it. They won the Johzenji game a few days ago. They won their next match with Wakutani fairly easily, even though Daichi had to step out of the match for a while because of an injury. They even won the Aoba Johsai game that Kageyama had been dreading, afraid to face his adversary Oikawa on the court once again.

But nothing could ever compare to the indescribable rush of emotions that Kageyama was feeling after the ball that won them the Shiratorizawa game hit the ground. His head felt light, and the world slowly faded away as he tried to process what had happened. The setter looked down at his hands, which were shaking slightly from exertion. Everything felt unreal like it wasn’t actually happening. The sound of a whistle reminded him that it was. 

There was screaming, so much screaming. Kageyama couldn’t tell who it was or where it was coming from. The entire gym had gone wild at the crow team’s victory. It was a loud, jumbled tangle of noise, too chaotic to pick out any distinct sounds. The world around him felt light. 

_ We won. _

Something tackled him, and Kageyama blinked, trying to ground himself back to existence. Tanaka had his arms wrapped around both the numbers nine and ten, pulling them together as tightly as he could. The dark-haired teen could only stand there, still too numb to react as someone else joined in their group hug. 

_ We won.  _

__ It was official. The match had been called. The sounds of screaming still continued, drawing Kageyama slightly further out of his deluded reality. 

_ We actually won.  _

__ He was hardly aware of his actions as he walked over to line up; his body moved completely on his own as he helped Nishinoya drag an exhausted Hinata behind him. The middle blocker looked completely drained but Kageyama was too wrapped up in his own world to pay any attention to it. 

They walked off the court that Saturday afternoon with their heads held high. There were lots of tears, and Kageyama remembered Coach Ukai giving a speech, but he was still too lost in his own head to respond to anything. It wasn’t a bad feeling, the entire world just felt a little brighter. It was like it was covered in a layer of fog, but the fog was the most pleasant thing he had ever experienced. 

“Hinata Shoyo, Kageyama Tobio,” someone called from behind the two first years, who were the only two left standing in the gym. 

If there was anything that could snap Kageyama out of his trance, it was the voice of his competition. The two boys whipped around to see Ushijima standing there, the same expression on his face as always.

“We’re going to beat you next time,” the captain looked down at the two of them, his face completely unreadable. Hinata began to shout some things at the man, his voice rising slightly as it often did when he was angry. 

“I’ll prove to you that I’m better than Oikawa!” Kageyama shouted, his frustration at the tall opponent getting the best of him.

_ Huh? Where did that come from? _ To be fair it had been a long couple of days, but the setter wasn’t completely sure why he had brought the brown-haired captain into the equation. 

Ushijima simply nodded, then began to walk away, leaving Hinata and Kageyama to stand by the scoreboards alone. 

“I wonder what that was all about,” Kageyama looked down towards the middle blocker, who had his hand on his chest. The teenager still looked pale, much to Kageyama's discomfort. But he simply chalked it up to exhaustion from the competition. 

“I dunno,” the tall teen shrugged, turning away. “But the rest of the team is probably waiting for us, we should get going. 

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. Kageyama could hardly remember anything that had happened. The second the team had boarded the bus again, he was out. The setter rested his head against the window in his usual fashion, feeling the relief wash over him once again. 

_ We won.  _

A little while later, the entire team sat at a table in their usual after-competition restaurant. Everyone still looked exhausted, drained from the long days of work. Kageyama himself could hardly keep his eyes open, even when food got placed right in front of him. 

‘You all need to decide whether you’re going to eat or sleep,” Coach Ukai sighed, and even without looking over Kageyama could tell he was rolling his eyes. 

Those who ate did it mostly in silence; nobody had the energy to keep up with a conversation. Kageyama glanced down to see Hinata knocked out, his head resting against the table. 

_ Good, let him rest. _

They finished their food quickly, then headed back to the school. Within a few hours, Kageyama was finally back in his bed after a long shower and some new clothes. 

_ We won.  _

He was still repeating the words to himself, unsure if it had just been a dream. It certainly seemed unbelievable enough that it had happened. They had beaten Shiritorizwa. They were going to Nationals. He let the thought sink in as he clung to his pillow, wrapping his arms around it tightly. 

_ We did it. _

\----------

“Hhhhm…?’ Kageyama rolled over in bed, feeling all of his muscles screeching in protest.  _ What was that? _

Something was really loud. Persistently loud. Kageyama clamped his hands over his ears, trying to get whatever the noise was to stop. He was trying to sleep. 

_ My phone. _

Reality set in for the teen and he sat up in bed, reaching out to his left drowsily, attempting to get a grasp on his phone that was insistent on ringing. He picked it up and flipped it open, rubbing his eyes. 

_ What in the world could someone possibly want at three in the morning?  _ He answered it anyway, his gut telling him it was something important. 

“Hello?” He mumbled into the phone, trying his best to not yawn.

“Oh thank god you picked up,” a voice said on the other end, sounding relieved. 

“Takeda-Sensei?” Kageyama felt his heart skip a beat. Why was the teacher calling so late?

“Look, don’t freak out,” the club advisor spoke in a slow tone as if trying to ease whatever was coming next. Kageyama instantly felt more awake, desperate to know what was going on. 

“What is it?”

“Hinata’s at the hospital again.” 


	2. Part 2

_ Boom.  _

__ Kageyama’s heart felt like it stopped. The darkness in his room became much more apparent, and there was a slight ringing in his ears. 

“What?” The setter spoke, his voice hardly above a whisper. He hadn’t intended to speak, his voice moved of its own accord. “What did you say?”

“Look, I’m in the car right now on the way to the hospital,” Takeda continued, and even over the rough audio of the call, Kageyama could tell he was trying his hardest to make sure his voice remained steady. “I don’t know all the details, just that Hinata was rushed there about an hour ago. I just got the call from his mom. She said something about Hinata requesting you,” he sounded more uncertain now as if he wasn’t sure what to do with the information he withheld.

“What do you mean he requested me?” Kageyama didn’t even try to contain the way his voice shook, as each word had its demon to beat before escaping his mouth. “Is he okay?”

“As far as I know, yes.” The teacher attempted to calm Kageyama’s nerves. “I think he passed out, but before he did he said something about needing to talk to you. I know it’s late, so don’t feel pressured. But I was wondering if you’d like me to swing by your house to bring you there with me.” 

_ Hinata is in the hospital again.  _ Takeda’s words echoed through Kageyama’s mind. He shouldn’t have been in the hospital in the first place, never mind more than once. He didn’t even have to think twice about his decision.

“I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

“Alright, see you then,” Takeda hung up the phone before Kageyama could get another word in. The teenager leaped out of bed, intent on making good on his word. He rushed to change, even in his slight panic wanting to make sure he was still looking presentable. He ran a comb through his hair and shoved his phone in his pocket, not bringing anything else. 

He left the room quietly, even though he and his mother were the only ones home. It was probably just a force of habit, he was used to leaving his room at early hours in the morning; just a few things were different back then. When he had to leave early for volleyball practice in his early days of junior high, his sister was still home. 

_ And Kazuyo was still alive,  _ Kageyama shook his head to clear the thought. 

He knocked on the door to his mother’s room. As desperate as he was to just leave without telling her, he had promised that he would keep her updated. 

He walked into the room after a few seconds of not getting a response. He walked over to the side of her bed and gently shook her awake, trying not to startle her.

“Tobio?” She yawned, looking confused. She looked over at the clock in her room and blinked slowly. “What in the world could you possibly need at a time like this?” 

Kageyama bit back a sharp response and simply told her straight: “my friend is in the hospital again. Takeda-Sensei from school is on the way to pick me up right now. I don’t know when I’ll be home, but he’ll probably be willing to drop me off. You told me to keep you updated, so I did.”

“Alright,” was the only response his mother gave before laying back down. Kageyama waited for a few moments, unsure if she was going to say more. When she didn’t, he simply left the room, shutting the door behind him. 

He contemplated grabbing something to eat before he left, but his stomach felt like it was tied in a thousand knots. 

_ I’m not even this nervous before a competition, _ Kageyama tried to ignore the thought, but the bile creeping its way up his throat disproved the notion. The dark-haired boy quickly exited the room, trying not to be sick. He went out to the road in front of his house and began to pace, trying anything and everything to convince himself that the boy he cared about was alright. 

It wasn’t long before headlights turned onto his street, alerting Kageyama that his ride had arrived. He quickly opened the door to the passengers' side and climbed in, hardly giving the club advisor a nod of recognition. 

“I tried to get a hold of Ukai,” Takeda broke the silence after a few minutes of driving. “But he wouldn’t pick up, must be exhausted from yesterday.”

“Yeah.” That was all Kageyama could think to say. Nothing Takeda could say or do would fully distract him from what was going on. As much as he hated the thought, he was heading back to the hospital. 

But while the last time he had been dreading it, this time Kageyama was urging Takeda to go faster in his head. He needed to see Hinata for himself, to stop the guilt that was wrenching its way into his mind.

_ I saw him looking weaker. I saw him and I didn’t say anything. I didn’t try and convince him to sit out, I didn’t make sure he was taking care of himself, maybe if I had… _ The voice in his head trailed off. Suddenly the win they had claimed the previous day didn’t feel quite like a victory anymore. 

They arrived much later than Kageyama would have liked. At least, it felt much later. They quickly got out of the car and rushed into the building. Takeda quickly checked the two of them in while Kageyama stood and watched, everything the two adults were talking about going straight over his head. 

All he could think about was how intent he was on getting to see the middle blocker again. He could feel his heartbeat picking up once again as he rounded the corners of the hospital, hardly noting the strong antiseptic scent that he hadn’t smelled in over a month. 

Kageyama knocked on the door this time, trying to brace his nerves for whatever horrible sight awaited him on the other side of the door. As the entrance opened, Kageyama couldn’t stop a repressed memory from surfacing.

_ “Is he gonna be alright?” Young Kageyama looked up at Miwa, tightening his grip on his older sister’s hand. _

_ “I’m sure he will be, they’ll let him out soon,” Miwa pushed open the door to the hospital room firmly, not bothering to knock first.  _

_ “Miwa! Tobio! You made it!” Kageyama’s grandfather smiled at them from his hospital bed, his warm presence lighting up the room immediately. “I’m glad you’re here!” _

_ “Kazuyo!” Kageyama cried, running over to his grandfather’s bed and giving him the tightest hug he could without hurting the old man. He could feel his grandfather laughing as he buried his head tightly into the man’s chest.  _

_ “Everything is gonna be okay, right?” Kageyama’s voice squeaked out nervously. He heard his grandfather laugh again.  _

_ “Of course Tobio, of course.” _

__ “Is everything alright?” A voice whispered from the room. Kageyama snapped out of his trance and looked into the hospital room, blinking a few times. He nodded as he stepped in, greeting Hinata’s mom who once again sat in the corner of the room. The only difference from the scene this time there was a child in the parent’s lap, who looked like she was fast asleep. 

Kageyama turned his gaze away and instead looked over towards the person he came for. 

_ Hinata. _

__ The teen looked considerably worse than when Kageyama had last seen him. He was lying down in the hospital bed, the grey sheet covering him up to his neck. He was facing away from the entrance, his ginger hair just as messy as his last hospital visit. Only an inch or so of skin peeked out from under the blanket; it was pale and cold looking. 

_ He doesn’t look well.  _ Kageyama blanched, trying to not let his fear overtake him. He walked over to the bed to see if Hinata was awake. When he got closer, the middle blocker stirred, opening his eyes slowly. 

“Wha…?” He spoke quietly, his speech slurred. He sounded completely out of it. “What am I… Kageyama?” Hinata bolted up, shaking his head rapidly. “Where am I… Oh.” His voice trailed off as he looked around, and Kageyama could see the realization reflected in the boy’s eyes. “Oh.”

“I’ll go get the nurse,” Hinata’s mother looked like she wanted to get up, but the child who was resting on top of her was preventing that. Takeda seemed to notice this.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go,” he began to make his way out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Kageyama turned back to Hinata, who looked miserable.

“Mom..?” He breathed, his voice sounding hoarse. “What happened?” Kageyama didn’t interrupt, he was intent on figuring the answer to the question out as much as his friend was.

“Well,” the woman sighed, pausing when the child in her lap shifted. When the girl seemed settled she continued: “You woke me up at around one-thirty. You said you felt lightheaded, and you couldn’t stop your heart from beating too fast.” 

_ Oh.  _ Hinata’s eyes widened. Apparently he didn’t remember the events at all. 

“I figured it was just the repercussions of your strenuous amounts of exercise over the past few days and told you to go rest in the living room. That was my mistake,” Hinata’s mom sighed, the weight of it sounding like she had never regretted anything more in her life. “I went to check on you a little while later, and you were hardly responsive. You muttered something about needing to talk to your friend Kageyama here before you passed out completely. I quickly woke Natsu and we rushed over here.” She finished the story rapidly as if recounting it pained her.

“What time is it?” Hinata looked around, feeling for something. “Where’s my phone?” 

“It’s about three-thirty,” Hinata’s mother moved slightly to check her watch. “And it’s over there, on the stand.” Kageyama went over to where the lady was pointing and grabbed the little yellow flip phone, handing it to his friend. 

“Thanks,” Hinata yawned, looking exhausted. 

“No problem.”

The silence that followed was awkward, and Kageyama didn’t know how to break it. He just stood there, hand stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, unable to make eye contact. He couldn’t help but blame himself for the teen’s current condition, after all, he should have said something. It was too late for that, however.

They stood there until a nurse came in, holding a clipboard and looking slightly startled at the number of people in the room. Takeda walked in behind the nurse lady. 

“We should probably head out,” he looked at Kageyama, and his eyes looked almost apologetic. “I was just worried, but now I realize we’ll probably just be in the way here. Maybe we can come back tomorrow? Unless you think you’ll be released by then?” Takeda scratched his head nervously. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re alright Hinata, we’ll talk more later, okay?” 

The tall teen watched as Hinata nodded, looking dejected. “Okay Takeda-Sensei.”

“Kageyama, are you ready?” 

“See you later,” the setter was tempted to add an insult at the end, but he decided it wasn’t the time. So he abandoned the thought and walked out of the room. He felt like he was torn apart, and he didn’t want to leave the room. But with Takeda as his ride, he didn’t have much of a choice. 

“Yeah,” the sigh of the ginger was the last thing Kageyama heard before he shut the door. The entire visit made him feel uneasy. He had never seen Hinata so down before. I’d made him more uncomfortable than he wanted to admit. Other than when the teen was dead out exhausted from practice, Hinata was always so energetic. Everyone on the team knew that, and everyone learned to love him for it. So to see him so out of character…

_ No, he’s gonna be fine. _

He chanted those words to himself the entire way home. He came up with all the possible reasons that Hinata’s health had declined again, trying his hardest to stay on the positive side. He hardly even acknowledged Takeda as he got out of his car other than to give him a small bow of thanks. 

Kageyama did not sleep well the rest of the night. He made sure to turn the ringer on his phone up; someone might have needed to call him again. It didn’t make a difference however, he slept so lightly that any amount of noise would have woken him. He kept tossing and turning, slipping in and out of a slightly delusional reality. Kageyama couldn’t do anything except standing there, his entire body feeling numb, as the ginger-haired teen turned his back towards the younger teen and began walking away. 

_ Don’t go, _ he desperately thought, reaching out towards his closest friend.  _ Please don’t go. _

Kageyama jolted awake, drenched in sweat. 

_ Oh, good. It was just a dream. _

__ He flopped back down into bed, relieved. Hinata was still with him.

_ Of course he is, dumbass, _ he mentally scolded himself.  _ He took another trip to the hospital last night, that’s all. It’s concerning, but not a death sentence. I need to get my act together.  _

He grabbed his phone to see what time it was, but he didn’t need to. Just by the small amount of light flooding into his room from a small window, Kageyama could tell that it was early morning. He decided there would be no point in staying in bed any longer, and he promptly began to get dressed for the day.

He threw on the pair of dark jeans he had been wearing the night before and a white T-shirt he found on his floor. He grabbed his comb off the bedside table and ran it through his hair, observing his features in the mirror as he did so. 

_ I hope Hinata gets out today. O _ Once Kageyama was reassured that he was presentable he grabbed his phone and left the room. He sat down at the table in the kitchen, intent on eating breakfast. However, as soon as he sat down he realized that it would not be possible, as his throat still felt closed up and the idea of eating caused a wave of nausea to rush through him. 

So he resorted to sending a text message out to the person who was causing all the anxiety.

_ Contact: Hinata Shouyou  _

_ Kageyama: [Hey.] 6:03am _

He had written a message without putting too much thought into it, but as soon as he sent it he felt his fingers tense up. He usually wasn’t the one to reach out to people, and even though the two boys had tons of text conversations in the past, Hinata had always been the one to initiate them. 

Kageyama flipped his phone shut and set it on the table in front of him, feeling awkward. He regretted sending it and was criticizing himself for making such a foolish move. He picked up his phone and opened it, intent on deleting the message. He paused however when he saw the dots on the side of his screen, signifying that someone was typing. 

_ Too late to go back now,  _ Kageyama sighed as he waited. 

_ Hinata: [Whoa you actually texted me first!!! That’s a first!!!] 6:06am _

__ Hinata’s energy even came off in text messages. Kageyama couldn’t help but smile at his phone slightly, already feeling a little bit better. 

_ Kageyama: [Shut up.] 6:06am _

_ Kageyama [How are you this morning?] 6:07am _

He decided to get straight to the point. Receiving the energetic response from the teen had helped, but he was still feeling overly nervous. He wanted to know how Hinata was doing, and he didn’t have enough patience for idle chit-chat. There was a long pause before another response came, and when Kageyama picked up his phone to look at it he noticed it was a fairly long message. 

_ Hinata: [Alright, for now, the doctors said I should be free to leave today. They want me back for more tests soon, and they can’t figure out why I collapsed, but they said as long as I’m feeling better I can go home. They ran a lot of tests last night, but I don’t remember any of them. I guess I was pretty out of it, huh?] 6:12 am  _

__ Kageyama could picture Hinata’s sheepish grin as he said those words, looking equal parts amused and embarrassed. Kageyama read it over a few times, trying to figure out what to say in response. 

_ Kageyama: [Yeah. You were.] 6:14am _

_ Kageyama: [Do you remember what you wanted to talk to me about?] 6:15am _

__ The second message was added hastily after Kageyama remembered the reason Takeda had invited him in the first place. For some reason, his hands started sweating after he sent it, and he set his phone on the table to wipe them on his pants. He instantly picked it back up when he heard it buzz with a new message. 

_ Hinata: [Oh, is that why you were there last night?] 6:15am _

_ Hinata: [Takeda made sense, I figured my mother had called him just to keep him updated and he chose to come, knowing how he is.] 6:16am _

_ Hinata: [but I wasn’t quite sure why you were there, in fact I was so tired I thought it might have been a dream!!!] 6:16am _

_ Kageyama: [So you don’t remember saying something about wanting to talk to me before you passed out?] 6:16am _

_ Hinata: [Nope, sorry!!!] 6:17am _

_ Hinata: [I would like to talk to you though.] 6:17am _

_ Hinata: [There’s a few things I wanna talk about. But I’d rather do it in person.] 6:17am _

_ Kageyama: [Alright, is there a time that works for you?] 6:18am _

__ The dots disappeared for a few minutes. Kageyama assumed that his friend was talking to someone about his question, trying to figure out the best meeting time. He tapped the hand that wasn’t holding his phone absentmindedly on the surface in front of him; not once did he take his eyes off the screen. 

_ Hinata: [Are you free around noon?] 6:22am _

_ Kageyama: [Yeah.] 6:22am _

_ Hinata: [Alright I’ll meet you at the tree around then!!!] 6:23am _

_ Hinata: [I gtg, doctor is calling. I’ll see you later Kageyama!!!] 6:23am _

_ Kageyama: [Bye.] 6:23am _

__ Kageyama stood up, placing his phone back into his pocket. He walked over to his mother’s room and peered in, trying to see if she was there. 

_ Oh right, she’s working again today. _

__ Although Kageyama was the only one in the house, it felt slightly suffocating. So he decided to throw on a light jacket, intent on taking a walk. He was passing by the altar for his grandfather on the way out when he froze. He had gotten used to seeing it in his home, with a smiling picture of the man who meant the world to the tall teenager inside of it. At first, it had been hard to see the memorial every day. The sight of it was nothing but a constant reminder of what Kageyama had lost. 

In fact, Kageyama had hated seeing it in the beginning. He had locked himself in his room, refusing to go anywhere near it despite the onslaught of coaxing that was done by both his mother and sister, encouraging him to go pay his respects. 

Eventually Kageyama warmed up to the idea, and before long he spent many afternoons when he got home from his school kneeling in front of it, telling his grandfather all about his day. 

Now, a few years later, the setter hardly looked at it. There was just no real reason to do so. Kageyama didn’t feel any resentment towards the memorial or anything, it was just that life had gone on without his knowledge. But there, at that moment everything came flooding back. All the fear he had felt when he learned that his grandfather was sick. All the nausea-inducing hospital visits. Slowly watching the man he loved decay, while he sat there helpless, begging anyone he could to help the person who meant so much to him. 

He remembered the day that his grandfather had passed away and the cold and numbing darkness that surrounded him. He remembered the funeral, with people trying their best to comfort him. Kageyama also remembered pushing them all away. Locking himself in his room for days, weeks, begging anyone who would listen to just  _ bring him back. _

__ The teenager collapsed in front of the memorial. His body had moved on it's own, and he was now sitting down, face to face with the picture of his grandfather. He could feel the joy that was radiating from the picture, it captured the man perfectly.

_ Why did you have to go?  _

He sat there for a long time, simply staring at the picture. Kageyama had no idea how much time had passed, as in that moment time seemed rather irrelevant. Eventually, he came to his senses. 

“Kazuyo?” His voice shook slightly, and he cleared it, trying again. “I know it’s been a while and I’m sorry,” he looked down at the ground, feeling awkward all of the sudden. “Life just got so busy. I’m still playing volleyball, just like you dreamed I would. Too bad I couldn’t make it into the school you wanted me to though.”

He forced a laugh, still remembering his bitter rejection to Shiratorizawa. 

“Anyway, I just wanted to say hi I guess. I’m meeting up with a friend later. I wish you two could have met, I think you would have liked him. He’s cool, even if he doesn’t act like it sometimes. But he’s a great partner on the court. Our team wouldn’t be the same without him.” 

Kageyama meant every word. As much as the other teenager annoyed the shit out of him, he was an important member of the team, and one that the setter respected.

“I’m gonna go now, I was planning on going for a walk. But I’ll come by again at some point,” he loosely promised his grandfather, standing up. He wasn’t fully sure what had prompted the ceremony, but he was glad that he had done it. It was light a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. 

The teenager stretched and checked his phone, putting it back when he saw he had no new messages. Even though he was feeling much calmer, he still decided to leave anyway to hopefully ease his mind a bit more. 

The second as he stepped outside, Kageyama could tell that October would be coming to an end soon. The temperature was quickly going to drop, and before too long snow would begin to litter the ground, signifying the season change. 

_ It’s crazy how fast time flies by.  _

__ Kageyama spent the next few hours wandering around the area he lived, headed nowhere in particular. It was a nice day, with no threats of bad weather. Overall it was a pleasant time. He even made a quick call to Takeda, who informed him that Coach Ukai had been updated but other than that they were waiting on more news before they told the team. Kageyama in turn told him about the text conversation he had with Hinata that morning and their plans for the afternoon. 

“That sounds awesome,” Takeda sounded relieved that Hinata was to be leaving the hospital that day. “If you get the chance, talk to him about what he wants to tell the rest of the team. It’s no big deal if you don’t, I’ll try and catch him tomorrow.”

Kageyama had just responded with a simple, “alright,” before hanging up. 

A little while after that, Kageyama found himself standing under the tree once again. Being on top of the hill was nice, as it gave a good all-around view of the paths and roads surrounding it. It was five minutes before the arranged meeting time with Hinata, and so he decided to simply sit down and wait. 

It didn’t take long for the boy with messy hair that Kageyama knew so well to appear, waving. Even from a distance, the setter could tell that his friend looked exhausted, but he nevertheless climbed the hill with ease and plopped down right next to the other teen. 

“Hey!” Hinata chirped excitedly. 

“Hey,” Kageyama was avoiding eye contact. “What’s up?”’ 

“Well I mean we are, this hill is pretty high.” Kageyama had to stop himself from slapping the ginger haired teen.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Yeah.” The word was drawn out as if the weight of it was physically dragging the small teenager down. They fell into silence, one that Kageyama was unwilling to break. He felt rather nervous for some reason, and he couldn’t find anything to say. That wasn’t unusual, but this time felt different. Typically Kageyama didn’t speak because he didn’t think he had anything to contribute to conversations, but this time anything he wanted to say was restricted by his tongue. 

So in the end, they sat in uncomfortable silence for the next fifteen minutes. At some point during the time, Kageyama had pulled out his phone and began to play some mindless game, occasionally shifting his eyes over to see if Hinata was going to say anything. 

From the few stray glances that the setter stole it was obvious that his friend was distressed about something. Even someone who wasn’t great at reading people could tell that. However Kageyama wasn’t quite sure how to go about asking about it, so he just waited for Hinata to bring whatever it was up himself. 

“Kageyama…?” When the middle blocker finally spoke, his voice was softer than Kageyama was used to hearing it. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m not allowed to play volleyball anymore.”

_ There it was.  _

The real cause of Kageyama’s anxiety made itself apparent at that moment, opening up like a flower in spring. However the flower was anything but pretty, and instead held the truth that Kageyama had been pretending to not see coming.

__ “You… What?” He didn’t want to believe the words. There was no way that could be true. Hinata was pranking him, at any minute the ginger would break out into a smile, tell him that the expression on his face was stupid, and they’d move on. But when he looked at the other teen directly in the face, Hinata wasn't making the face that the setter was hoping to see.

Instead, he looked on the verge of tears.

_ He’s not joking. _

__ Kageyama felt a pressure striking him in the chest. He lifted his hand up to it, trying to ease the pain. His world threw him for another loop, and the boy sitting in front of him blurred. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. 

“It’s just temporary, right?” He choked out when the reality returned to him slightly. “It’s just like last time. You’re gonna rest up a little bit and then be right back on the court with me.”

_ Right?  _

Kageyama aggressively scanned his friend up and down, trying to find a reason that his statement would be false. Sure, Hinata still looked pale and unsteady, but that was just from the long night. Nothing else. 

“I…” Kageyama furrowed his brow as Hinata began to speak, his gaze fixed on the ground. The dark-haired boy watched as the middle blocker blinked multiple times, possibly trying to fight back tears. “I hope so.” 

“What do you mean you hope so?!” Kageyama raised his voice without thinking, only feeling slightly apologetic when the ginger flinched. “You should know, shouldn’t you? You’ve done all those fancy tests, you’ve gone to the hospital  _ twice, _ how could they not know?! How could  _ you  _ not know?!”

“I wish I did Kageyama, now stop yelling at me!” Hinata’s voice shook more than the taller teen was used to, and he shut his mouth quickly, uncertain. “I wish I did! But nobody is telling me anything, I don’t get it! My mother keeps telling me that everything is going fine and that it’s probably just something normal, but how am I supposed to believe that?! I passed out again!”

_ Again?  _ Kageyama questioned the statement, his anger momentarily forgotten as he fixated on the last thing Hinata had said.  _ But… This was the first time… _ He looked towards the boy sitting in front of him who had shifted slightly so that his back was completely towards the tree. 

“Yeah, you heard me,” Hinata sighed, once again avoiding eye contact with Kageyama. “This isn’t the first time it’s happened. It’s… The third.” Something about the way he said it told Kageyama not to press it further. 

“So… Uh…” he tried to figure out where to go. He was still clinging to the hope that this was all some nightmare and he’d wake up any minute. 

“Kageyama I…” Hinata interrupted hastily, as if there was something he still desperately needed to say. “I’m scared.”

Two words.

To anyone else, those words wouldn’t have seemed significant. Coming from anyone else they would have been normal. But Kageyama knew his closest friend better than that. He knew those two simple words had taken a lot of courage to say. Hinata was the type of person to talk about a lot of things. Sometimes the setter could never get the other boy to shut up. But of all the things Hinata liked to talk about, his true negative feelings did not get brought up. 

“Of?” 

“Of… Of all of this,” Hinata winced as he said it, grabbing a big leaf from the ground and twiddling with it between his fingers. “I’m scared of why I passed out. I’m scared of going to the hospital again, I’m scared of all these tests.” He breathed heavily as if each word caused him pain. “Most of all… I’m scared of losing volleyball. What if they find out there’s something wrong with me? What if I can never play again? I just… The thought…” He trailed off, completely unable to continue. 

Kageyama sat there for a few moments, shocked. Despite all the hanging out they had done, despite the numerous text messages sent, despite every practice, they had done together, he had never seen Hinata quite like this. Even though the thought confused him, he felt strangely relieved. 

“I’m sure that won’t happen,” he tried to console the teen, who once again looked like he was about to start crying. “Everyone is just being cautious. You’re going to be fine. You’ll be back at practice in no time, I’m sure of it. At least, you’d better be.” Kageyama wasn’t sure if what he had said was true, but at that moment it felt like it fit. 

“You… You think so?” Hinata finally looked the setter in the eyes, his expression hopeful. Kageyama nodded. “Well… Alright.” He went silent for a few moments as if contemplating his next statement. “But what about Nationals? What if I’m not allowed to play by then?” 

“Nationals are still months away, you’ve got time.”

“Only two months,” Hinata grumbled, looking annoyed. “We’ve gotta get in as much practice time as we can. Even if it’s only another week that I have to sit out, that’s another week of training wasted.”

“Well that training would be useless if you got yourself hurt,” Kageyama retorted, getting impatient. As much as he wanted Hinata back out on the court right away, he knew it wasn’t smart. If he cared about Hinata at all, he needed to make sure his friend in top condition before they played together again.

“I guess you’re right.” Hinata yawned, scooting back to lean against the tree. “But still. I hope whatever sickness demon thing that keeps knocking me out leaves me alone soon. I’m tired.”

“You could… Take a nap?” The setter suggested unhelpfully. He had already used up all the emotionally supportive words he could muster that day.

“That’s not what I… Actually,” the ginger paused, opening his mouth again to let out a breath. “That’s not a bad idea.” Without hesitating, scooted down until there was enough room for him to rest the top of his head against the base of the tree. His fluffy mess of hair quickly became filled with scraps of leaves and bits of dirt. 

_ Wait is he just going to sleep right there?  _ Kageyama stared in bewilderment. He had meant it in more of a  _ go home and take a nap _ sense, not a  _ just fall asleep right there  _ statement. But Hinata seemed so relaxed that the teen didn’t press it. He simply watched as the other boy’s chest rose and fell, trying his hardest to snatch some rest. Just watching it made Kageyama yawn. 

_ You know, maybe I’ll rest for a little bit too.  _ He scooted back against the tree and leaned his head to the side, still sitting upright but with his head tilted at a comfortable angle. Then he closed his eyes, despite the bright light that still shone in the afternoon, and tried to fall asleep.

_ \---------- _

_ Soft. _

Kageyama’s hand rubbed over something soft. He couldn’t quite figure out what it was, so he kept stroking the texture. It was oddly rough, but still pleasant to touch.

_ What is this stuff?  _ He opened his eyes and nearly jumped. It took him a couple seconds to remember where he was as he wildly looked around.

_ Oh right, the tree.  _ He came to the conclusion after a moment. He tried to reach up his left hand to rub sleep out of his eyes, only for it to get caught on something. He looked down and flinched, shocked.  _ How did this happen? _

__ His hand was caught in a few strings of messy ginger hair which belonged to nobody other than the person Kageyama must have fallen asleep next to. Hinata was curled up sideways, with his head resting on the setter’s left leg. He had his face turned away from Kageyama, but the setter could tell from his breathing pattern that the boy was still asleep. 

In his dreamlike state, Kageyama had begun to stroke his friend’s hair, running his fingers through it methodically. The act hadn’t woken the boy up, but Kageyama still felt awkward about it. He was about to retract his hand, intent on getting out of the uncomfortable situation, when Hinata twitched and Kageyama froze. He sat his hand back down and the other teen settled instantly. 

_ Well this is odd.  _ Of all the things Kageyama had been expecting to do after they won against Shiratorizawa, this was not one of them. His heart felt incredibly light for some reason, and without thinking he began to slowly run his fingers through the middle blocker’s hair once again. He felt his heart skip a beat when Hinata stirred, but he didn’t stop.

Kageyama had never been big on physical contact, especially with people who weren’t in his family. But something felt different about Hinata. Something about the boy caused him to completely forget about all of that, and focus on nothing else other than how soft his hair was, and how nice it felt to stroke it. He could feel his heartbeat picking up, but he was certain it was just from nerves about waking his friend. 

They remained like that for the next ten minutes or so. Kageyama nearly didn’t dare to breathe, terrified of the moment ending. But as all good things do, eventually Hinata shifted, yawning.

“Kageya- Whoa!” He jolted upright, rubbing his face and blinking. “How did I- you-”

“I dunno, I just woke up and you were lying there. I figured I shouldn’t wake you up.” Kageyama looked away feeling hot. He wasn’t sure why he was so embarrassed, friends did things like that all the time. He knew he had seen Sugawara fall asleep on Daichi multiple times before, same with some of the second years. So this was no different, just things good friends would do.

“Well uh… Thanks," the setter looked back to see Hinata looking nearly as nervous as Kageyama felt. The ginger pulled his phone out of his pocket, flipping it open. 

“Whoa, we’ve been here for four hours,” Hinata gaped at his device, looking shocked. The other teen was slightly surprised, but he didn’t voice it.

“Well it was a long day yesterday so-”

“I never properly thanked you for that,” Hinata interrupted him once again, fidgeting with his phone slightly. “Thanks for coming last night. It was… Nice of you.”

“Yeah well don’t expect me to do it every time,” Kageyama cut back in their usual fashion, uncomfortable with being praised for something he had wanted to do. 

“Well I don’t expect there to be any more times,” Hinata retorted, sticking his nose in the air. “But if I do I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good.” 

This was what Kageyama was used to. He liked teasing the middle blocker, throwing occasional insults into the mix. That’s what their teammate relationship was. He kept repeating that to himself as he stood up and brushed himself off. He didn’t like to change things.

_ Then why did that change feel so good?  _

They stayed under the tree for another few minutes, not talking about anything particularly interesting. Still, when Hinata turned to walk down the hill to head home, Kageyama found himself wishing that he didn’t.

\------------

“So… Yeah,” Hinata adjusted his feet in the way he did when he was uncomfortable. Kageyama was standing near the teen as he looked up at two of the third years, giving them the unfortunate news. The setter watched as they both stood there for a second, shocked. 

The first person to move was Sugawara, who moved forward and crushed Hinata into a hug. 

“Thank you for telling us,” he spoke softer than usual, stepping back to give the ginger room to breathe. “And thank you for taking care of your health, it is important.”

“Does this… Does this change anything?” Hinata seemed almost too afraid to ask, and he blinked as if he regretted the words as soon as he said them. Daichi stepped forward and made direct eye contact with the middle blocker, his face dead serious. 

“The only thing that’s changing is that you aren’t able to play right now,” his voice was low but comforting. “Nothing else. You are, and always will be a member of the team, at least as long as I’m here. No matter what.” 

“Thanks Daichi,” Hinata’s eyes were watering slightly, but he wiped it away quickly.

“Exactly,” Sugawara added. “And you’ll always be welcome at practice, whether you’re practicing or not. And hey, this isn’t forever, right? I’m sure you’ll be back on the court before you know it. Though to you that may feel like years.” He ended the statement with a light laugh, only slightly poking fun at the younger boy’s impatience. 

“I hope so,” Hinata looked considerably relieved, which caused Kageyama to wonder just how stressed he had been about the situation. “Of course I’ll still be at practice, I can pick up a lot of things just by watching.”

“I don’t doubt it,” it was Daichi’s turn to laugh, looking amused. “Now uh… Do you want us to pass on the news? I noticed you weren’t exactly thrilled with the idea of doing it last time.”

“Would you?” Hinata looked happy with the idea. “Thank you, that means a lot to me.” He smiled, bigger than anyone had seen in a while. The warm feeling returned, and Kageyama found that he was feeling more at peace as well.

_ Maybe everything is actually okay now. _

\--------------

Unfortunately, in the few weeks that followed, Hinata’s condition did not improve. He was at practice every single time Kageyama was, however, he was just sitting on the edge of the court sadly. Kageyama could hardly stand to look at him. It was as if everything that made him  _ Hinata _ had disappeared. The setter kept holding on to the hope that Hinata would recover quickly, that it was just a long-lasting virus or something, but eventually, he had to accept that Hinata wasn’t getting better anytime soon.

The day that he finally realized that fact was the second Sunday of November, when Hinata didn’t come to the tree at the time he said that he would. After twenty minutes of pacing, Kageyama decided to go find him. It wasn’t long before he arrived at the hospital. He nervously asked the lady at the front desk if Hinata had been there, and his heart sank when she said that he had. 

“Hey,” he made his way into the room after knocking, heading directly over to where Hinata was sitting up in bed. 

“Kageyama what are you… Oh, right,” the ginger’s voice trailed off as if realizing why Kageyama would have randomly stopped for a visit. “I was supposed to meet you today, wasn’t I?” 

“Yeah, you were.” Kageyama wasn’t sure why he was so angry, but something about the sight of the teen sitting there in that too big hospital bed with a gown that wasn’t even close to the right size made the unchecked emotion inside him swell up to the point that he couldn’t cut back on the curt response. “So where were you?”

“I’m so sorry about that,” Hinata’s mother, who must have once again accompanied her son to the hospital apologized profusely. Kageyama was almost too upset to respond to her, but he took a deep breath and tried to compose himself. 

“What happened?” He asked after a second, almost too afraid of finding out the answer. He was still trying to believe that it had nothing to do with whatever sickness had been plaguing Hinata lately. But all his dreams were shattered when Hinata’s weak voice spoke out,

“I passed out again, what do you think?” There was no tone to his response. Nothing but plain, solid facts. The sound of it made Kageyama want to scream. He had thought that maybe, just maybe Hinata would improve if he rested enough. He had tried to ignore the fact that Hinata’s face lost a little bit more color each day, and he had tried to ignore the weak coughs that would spring up randomly during practice. He had tried to tune out the sounds of his teammates constantly checking up on the boy, and the way Hinata’s voice sounded like it lost a little bit of hope day by day. He tried to ignore it all, tried to pretend that Hinata was going to go right back to normal. But standing there now, in that hospital, looking paler than the setter had ever seen before, Kageyama was faced with the cold hard truth:

_ Hinata wasn’t coming back. _

The realization nearly made Kageyama’s heart stop. 

“Oh.” Was all he could muster after a while. 

“I’ll let you two talk,” Hinata’s mother seemed to sense the awkward tension and she grabbed the hand of Natsu, who had previously been playing with some toys on the floor. They exited the room to give the two teens some space. 

“You can sit if you want,” Hinata pointed towards the end of the bed, reaching over to pull the grey blanket out of the way. Kageyama accepted the invitation after a few moments, making sure to sit at the very edge. 

“So…” Kageyama drew out the word, delaying asking the question, uncertain as to what Hinata’s reaction would be. “How are you?”

“Worried about me?” Hinata had become quite fond of the saying as of late because nearly every time Kageyama had expressed any sort of concern he had repeated it. Kageyama grabbed a small pillow that was sitting at the end of the bed and threw it at him, not at all surprised when it hit the other teen directly in the face.

“Ow Kageyama, don’t injure the sick!” His voice rose as he spoke, which made Kageyama chuckle slightly, unable to contain his amusement. The entire thing felt slightly off, but also just  _ correct _ in a way the setter couldn’t describe. It felt like returning to their old ways of arguing during every practice, annoying anyone who had the misfortune of working with them. Kageyama quickly recovered from his small bout of laughter and looked up to see Hinata’s cheeks were littered with a bit of color, a large contrast to his otherwise whitish-looking skin. Kageyama looked away again, feeling the heat rise on the back of his neck.

“To answer your question, I’m feeling alright,” Hinata said with confirmation, but he sighed a few seconds after. “Well, I could be better. It sucks that I’m here again and I don’t know why. They said they want to keep me here for a few days, which sucks. It was lonely last time,” the teen looked dejected.

“Wasn’t your mother here?” Kageyama questioned in confusion. 

“She left after the doctors said I would be alright. She had to take Natsu home, there was nowhere for them to stay here.”

“Oh.” 

“Kageyama?” Hinata’s voice was hardly above a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“I miss volleyball.”

_ I miss you playing volleyball, _ Kageyama didn’t voice the thought, knowing it wouldn’t make Hinata feel any better. But it was true, even with the middle blocker there, if he wasn’t on the court it wasn’t the same. Kageyama wished that when he sent up the last ball at the Shiratorizawa game he had known it would be Hinata’s last one, at least for the time being. 

It wouldn’t have changed anything, but Kageyama wished he had known just how significant it had been.  _ Maybe I would have appreciated it even more. _

__ “Yeah.” Despite all the thoughts that ran through Kageyama’s head, that was the only response he could think of to give.

“I’m just so jealous of you, and everyone else,” Hinata continued, seemingly not noticing Kageyama’s unenthusiastic response. “I watch you every practice, and you’re all doing so well! It makes me so happy to know that I’m part of such an amazing team. But still…” His excited tone dropped, and when Kageyama looked over he saw the other boy looking down at his hands. “It hurts to see you all doing what I love, knowing that I can’t. It’s just not fair!” 

Kageyama went quiet, unsure of how to deal with the outbreak. He knew how Hinata felt, at least, he thought he did. The two of them didn’t have a ton in common, but one of the things they did have was a love for volleyball. He couldn’t imagine having to watch everyone else do the one thing that he wanted to do while he had to sit on the sidelines. The thought alone made him shiver. 

“I suppose I shouldn’t get upset though, I want you guys to keep training as hard as possible so that we have the best possible team when we go to Nationals,” Hinata looked considerably happier just at the thought. “I’m sure it’s gonna be amazing, I can’t wait!”

“Same,” Kageyama agreed with his friend. Nationals was something he was looking forward to, after all, they had worked so hard for such a long time just to make it there. It was a dream that they were planning on making a reality.

_ Hinata might not be playing.  _ Kageyama decided to ignore the thought, instead quickly changing the subject to avoid the fear that was threatening to eat him alive. 

“I should go, it’s getting late.” This wasn’t exactly true, it was only around six in the evening. But he wasn’t sure he could stand being inside that building for a moment longer.

_ Not with all the memories. _

__ Hinata looked crestfallen for a little bit, but Kageyama watched as he quickly replaced the expression with a small smile. “Alright! Are you gonna come tomorrow?”

_ Oh right he won’t be at practice,  _ Kageyama hadn’t yet had that realization. “I’ll try and swing by after practice, I’ll let you know if I can’t make it.” He said after a brief pause.

“Mkay! See you later Kageyama!” Hinata sounded cheerful enough, but Kageyama couldn’t help the pang that shot through his heart as he closed the door to the hospital room Hinata was once again staying in.  _ He’ll be back eventually, and I’ll wait as long as it takes. _

The next morning, Kageyama informed the team that Hinata wasn’t going to make it to practice that day. He was met with a flurry of questions, most of which he answers with straightforward, curt responses. After a little while of questioning, the practice began, but it was obvious that everyone was a little off of their game. In both the morning and evening practices, Nishinoya kept messing up on his receives, Kageyama hardly got a single proper set, even Yamaguchi’s technique fell on the sloppy side. Daichi stepped out a few times to talk with Coach Ukai and Takeda, and even without being near them Kageyama knew exactly what they were talking about.

_ Everyone is worried about Hinata. _

__ The thought only made Kageyama more ready for practice to end so he could get to the hospital as soon as possible. Hinata had texted him that morning, telling him to have a good day, and that he hoped to see him later. Kageyama hadn’t responded.

__ “You’re in such a rush,” Sugawara stepped up behind Kageyama, placing a hand on his shoulder. “What for? You don’t usually like cleaning.” It was true, the setter wasn’t fond of cleaning up after practice. The only days he was usually motivated was when he and Hinata would have their little competitions, often with a bet involved. Since the middle blocker wasn’t able to practice anymore, it had become dull and Kageyama was often one of the last ones done. 

__ “I’m going to visit Hinata,” he said shortly, dumping the last volleyball into the bin and shaking off the third year’s hand. He heard Sugawara let out a soft “oh.”

_ Yeah. Just saying his name kills the mood.  _ Kageyama wasn’t sure why there was such a lump in his throat. Was it from anxiety? Annoyance? He couldn’t quite figure it out. It wasn’t like it was the end of the world, Hinata just wasn’t able to practice at the time. But still, Kageyama knew that volleyball was Hinata’s world. So in a way, for the small middle blocker, it  _ was  _ the end of the world. 

_ Please come back soon Hinata. _

__ “Do you think he’d mind if I joined you?” Kageyama stopped and turned back to see Sugawara fidgeting with his hands slightly. “It’s totally cool if the two of you wanted to be alone but I’d love to see him.”

“I don’t care,” Kageyama shrugged, a bit taken aback by the fact that the third year was asking  _ him.  _ “I don’t think Hinata would mind either.”

“Awesome!” Sugawara’s slightly uncomfortable look was quickly replaced by an easy smile. “Yo Daichi, I’m going with Kageyama! We’re gonna go visit Hinata, that's cool with you?” The grey-haired third year turned back to face the team captain, who was chatting with Kiyoko and the two adults in the corner. 

“That’s no problem, say hello to him for me, and tell him the team missed him today!” Daichi called back. Then his gaze shifted away and back again, and he bit his lip as if hesitating. “Are we still on for tomorrow?” He looked directly at Sugawara as he said it, as only the other third-year must have known what the captain was talking about. 

Kageyama watched as Sugawara nodded quickly. “Yep! Of course!” Kageyama thought he could detect a slight change in the vice captain's complexion, but he decided to not question it. 

Daichi smiled, and he looked excited for some reason. “Alright, see you tomorrow Suga!”

“See you!” Sugawara turned back to Kageyama, and he took a deep breath as if trying to compose himself. “Alright, so do you walk there? I’ve gotta admit I haven’t been there so I’m not entirely sure where it is.” He ruffled his hand through his hair, still looking awkward. 

“Yeah, it’s about a twenty-minute walk from here,” Kagyema began to walk towards the gym door, finished with his cleaning, and intent on heading out. As soon as he pushed open the door he shivered, getting hit by one of the first chills of November.

“Winter is right around the corner,” Sugawara walked out beside the other setter, looking around. “It’s crazy how fast time flies, Nationals are so close, I can almost feel it.” Kageyama nodded. He understood how his teammate felt. He had first come to Karasuno in April, seven months had passed since then. Kageyama could hardly remember what life was like before the team, and if he was being honest he didn’t want to. 

“Ready?” He asked the third-year setter, who nodded. The two teens grabbed their stuff from the club room and began to make their way to the hospital in the dim light. Not many words were exchanged between the two of them; Kageyama couldn’t think of anything to say and Sugawara was strangely quiet as well. Before too long they arrived at their destination, and Kageyama instantly headed over to get checked in, Sugawara right behind him.

“Hinata Shouyou?” The lady sitting behind the desk asked as they approached. It hardly came as a shock to Kageyama, he had been there multiple times for his friend before, he was bound to be recognized eventually. “You too?” She asked Sugawara, who nodded.

Within a few seconds the two volleyball players were making their way to Hinata’s room, the walk still deadly quiet. When they arrived at the room Kageyama knocked and waited until he heard a quiet “Hello?” before entering.

“Hey,” he entered, setting his stuff on the floor and going directly over to Hinata’s bed. 

“Hey!” Hinata, who had previously been playing some game again, looked up as they came in. His eyes lit up as he saw Sugawara. “Oh my gosh Sugawara! I didn’t know you were coming!” 

“I didn’t either,” Sugawara laughed as he too set his stuff down and made his way over. However, unlike Kageyama, who always felt unsure as to what he should do when he came over, Sugawara climbed right up into the bed and sat on the edge, pulling up his feet so he was sitting in a criss-cross position. “I just heard this morning that you were here, and when I learned that Kageyama was coming to visit you tonight I knew I had to tag along. So how are you feeling?” He made himself right at home, and Kageyama couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous of that ability.

“Horrible,” Hinata sighed dramatically. “Everything hurts, I’ve got a cough that I can’t seem to make go away, I’m really tired and I miss playing volleyball,” he coughed directly after he said it as if to prove his statement. 

“You told me you were feeling fine yesterday!” Kageyama couldn’t help but butt in, not sure whether he was annoyed or simply confused. Hinata stuck his tongue out at the dark-haired setter.

“I was feeling fine yesterday! Well… Sort of,” Hinata broke off to cough again slightly. “The cough is a new development, at least as bad as it is. I was still tired, and everything hurt slightly but it wasn’t as bad.” 

“That sounds rough,” Sugawara comforted in the best way he could.

“I guess it does, doesn’t it? But what sucks the most is that I still can’t play volleyball. It's annoying.”

“I understand that,” Sugawara sympathized. “I had a really bad illness in my first year. It wasn’t quite a hospitalization worthy but I was out of practice for nearly a month.”

“Whoa,” Hinata breathed, looking interested immediately. “Were you okay?”

“Yeah, Daichi and Asahi kept me company,” Sugawara smiled warmly as if reminiscing on good memories. “But yeah, being out of volleyball was super painful.”

Hinata agreed with a few rapid nods. “Speaking of volleyball, how was practice today? I want to know everything!” Then the two of them were off, with Sugawara giving the first year a recap of the whole day. The third-year didn't leave out any details. There were even some things that Kageyama didn’t remember, like Kinoshita and Tanaka crashing into each other while trying to work on spikes. But the story made Hinata laugh, which made Sugawara smile.

“I wish I was there to see it,” Hinata giggled, then he sighed. “Seriously I can’t wait to be back.”

“Speaking of that, when do you think you’ll be let out?” Sugawara questioned, asking the thing Kageyama had been avoiding out of fear. 

“I dunno,” Hinata shrugged. “They’re running more tests as we speak. They just can’t seem to figure out what’s wrong with me.” While he sounded lighthearted, Kageyama didn’t have a hard time picking up the note of bitterness that lingered inside of the statement. 

“Well, you know we’ll always be here, we’re your team,” Sugawara reached out to take the middle blocker’s hand, which looked considerably frail in comparison to the third year’s. “All of us are always here for you, no matter what. So if you ever need anything, just let any of us know. We care about you, Hinata.” The first year just nodded, though Kageyama thought he looked a little bit misty-eyed. 

The three students hung out together for another hour, talking about whatever came to mind. Eventually, Sugawara invited Kageyama to join him at the foot of the bed, and even though the setter declined at first, the third year was persistent. Soon all three of them sat there, sharing a ton of thoughts, ideas, and memories. 

Kageyama couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so hard. Even though they were in a hospital, there was a chill outside, and Hinata had to stop conversation every few minutes to cough, it was an extremely pleasant evening. It was one that Kageyama was sad to see come to an end. Alas, Sugawara checked his phone after a lengthy discussion about the setters from other teams.

“Holy shit it’s late, we should be heading out,” he exclaimed, his eyes widening. “I mean I can’t force you to leave Kageyama, but won’t your family be worried?”

“Nah not really, it’s just my mother and me, and she probably won’t even notice. But still, I should probably get going. I’ll try and visit again sometime soon, alright?” Kageyama resolved after checking his phone to see the time. 

“Don’t come by too often, remember you’ve gotta put your focus on Nationals!” Hinata’s eyes lit up as he spoke, just excited at the thought of the big event. 

Of course,” Kageyama completely agreed. As much as he wanted to spend every second with Hinata as the boy recovered, he knew that it would make more sense to put his efforts towards what Hinata loved. 

_ At the very least, I can do that for him. _ “Maybe I can come over Sunday? Or if you’re out by then maybe we could…?” He left the question unfinished, he knew Hinata could finish it in his head. He wasn’t sure why, but he wasn’t comfortable with Sugawara knowing about the tree. Maybe it was because of the teasing he was sure they would be subjected to, or maybe it was just the idea that the tree on the hill was  _ theirs,  _ something not meant to be shared with the rest of the team.

“I’ll let you know,” Hinata held up his phone, signaling that he’d text Kageyama with any updates. The first-year setter nodded, satisfied. He and Sugawara made their way out after saying their goodbyes. As soon as they shut the door, Kageyama could have sworn that he heard Hinata sigh. 

_ I wish I could help.  _ He didn’t turn back, and instead slowly made his way out of the hospital with Sugawara in tow. 

\------------

“No not like that!” Kageyama shouted at Narita, who flinched. 

“Kageyama, he's trying his best, you need to relax. Why don’t you take a break?” Daichi’s voice implied that it wasn’t a suggestion. The setter grumbled slightly under his breath but did as the captain told. 

It had been a long week. Classes had been harder to pay attention to, Hinata hadn’t returned, and the team was continuing on their path of training Narita in his place. When the idea was originally suggested after the Shiratorizawa game it seemed like a good idea. Hinata himself had heavily encouraged it from the sidelines, just eager for the team to have the strongest players that they could while he recovered. 

And while it worked well at first, it was obvious that Narita was nowhere near Hinata’s level of talent in the spiking department. Kageyama, while he was a good sport at first, quickly grew annoyed. He found it hard to pull back his cutting remarks when the second year messed up so many things. It wasn't as though Kageyama himself went without mistakes, however. He would forget that Hinata was no longer standing on the court with him, and then would send a ball over with the intent of reaching the short ginger middle blocker. The ball would just slam down on their side of the court, completely missed by Narita. 

The setter knew he shouldn’t be blaming the second year, after all, it wasn’t his fault that Hinata wasn’t able to play. But regardless, every time that he went to hit a set Kageyama couldn’t help but think that it should’ve been Hinata to receive it, it should have been Hinata on the court, it should have been Hinata to score the point.

_ Hinata.  _ Kageyama missed him, he missed him more than he wanted to admit. The week felt like it dragged on and on without him. The tall first year could feel the eyes of his teammates on him constantly during practices as if trying to judge how he was feeling. Kageyama didn’t respond to any of them, just kept a straight face and turned his back. 

So when the week finally ended, Kageyama was more than a little relieved. He scarcely remembered a few teammates saying goodbye before he began to rush home. He tried not to think about how long it had been since he raced his friend as he passed the bike rack. It felt like it had been forever.

_ Please come back soon, _ he found himself wishing as he fell asleep that night.

\-----------

“Really?! Yes!” Hinata looked beyond excited at the idea Kageyama threw at him under the tree. It was finally Sunday, and the setter had made up a plan the night before. He didn’t think it was the smartest thought, but it was the best one he had at the moment. 

_ Anything to see him truly happy again.  _ He shook his head to clear his head. “Sure, I don’t see why not as long as we’re careful.” Hinata had not been fully released from the hospital, but he had been granted permission to visit the tree with his friend, as long as they stayed safe. Kageyama was relieved because his entire plan revolved around them being there.

Looking at the ginger now though, the tall teenager was having second thoughts. Hinata's skin was still really pale, and it seemed as though he had lost a few pounds. They had to take a few breaks as they made their way over, and it seemed like a ton of Hinata’s sentences were littered with small coughs. Kageyama didn't know if his friend's body was up for the plan. 

“AWESOME!” Hinata jumped up from where he had been leaning against the tree, and it looked like he instantly regained some of the health he had lost over the past few months. “Is it in your bag?” The setter simply nodded. 

Deep down, Kageyama knew what he was doing was foolish. He never should have acted on the idea. However, he nearly forgot about all of his worries as Hinata pulled a volleyball out of the gym bag that had been brought up the hill.

“Whoa….” The middle blocker breathed, twisting the ball around in his hands a few times. “I forgot how good this felt!” 

“Everything changed so fast…” Kageyama couldn’t help but whisper to himself. It had felt like it happened in the blink of an eye. One second they were in the middle of the Shiratorizawa match, Karasuno’s secret weapon. The next… Hinata was officially holding a volleyball for the first time in nearly three weeks. If Kageyama went back and traced the signs, they were all there. The rapid progression of Hinata’s… Whatever illness. But it had happened so quickly that Kageyama had hardly noticed. 

_ Just when did he get so weak? _ The first year’s arms looked frail as he held up the ball.

“Cmon Kageyama, let me receive a few!”

“Alright but only a few!” Kageyama had a feeling that this wasn't going to end well, but he ignored it and pushed forward anyway. After all, Hinata looked so  _ happy.  _

_ How could this ever go wrong? _

Looking back to that day, Kageyama should have listened to his gut. He realized this when he yanked open the door to the hospital room the day after, eyes wide and panicked. He should have listened to himself. If he had, then maybe he wouldn’t have received a dreadful phone call in the middle of the night from Takeda, telling him that he should visit Hinata as soon as possible. If he had, maybe he wouldn’t have skipped school the next day to check up on him, to make sure his friend was okay.

If Kageyama had listened to himself, maybe he wouldn’t have entered Hinata’s hospital room so nervously. Maybe he wouldn’t have pushed through those doors on that Monday morning, trying to keep down whatever content his stomach held. 

Memories kept surfacing as he made his way to the hospital that morning. Memories of his grandfather’s face, the way he looked when he was at his worst. He prayed to himself the entire way that Hinata would be alright, that he had just dreamed it all, that when he got to the hospital it would just be a huge misunderstanding.

Kageyama would soon learn that life doesn’t always work out the way one wishes for it to.

“Hinata?” He croaked quietly, sticking his head in the door. As soon as he did he felt a surge of instant relief rush through him. 

It wasn’t a pretty sight. Hinata was completely lying down, and there wasn’t much of him that Kageyama could see. He was strapped up to a few machines like the first time Kageyama had come to visit him, with needles and wires hooked into his left arm. His ginger hair was plastered to his forehead with what seemed like sweat, and when Kageyama walked closer he saw that the other teen’s eyes were closed. 

But despite all of that, Hinata looked like he would be alright. His breathing was steady, and his cough seemed to have subsided. Though he was still pale, it didn’t look like he had become any worse. From what Kageyama could tell, once the small teenager rested he would be in the same condition that he had been before Kageyama made the stupid decision to play volleyball with him again.

_ It was fun though,  _ he thought selfishly. Much like when Hinata was still actively playing the game, they pushed each other past their limits. They had spent more than a few minutes sending balls back and forth under the tree, and with each hit, Kageyama felt more at home. Him and Hinata playing volleyball together felt like the rightest thing they had done in a while, and the setter went home that night happier than he had been since the end of the Shiratorizawa game. 

Still, he couldn’t help but blame himself as he looked down at the pitiful form of his friend, who was asleep in the hospital bed from his presumably long night. Kageyama couldn’t help but wonder if he should leave. Just as he was about to, a voice spoke up:

“Stay until he wakes up, at least.” 

It made Kageyama jump slightly, he hadn’t realized there was someone else in the room. His gaze had been so fixated on the boy that he had failed to notice that Hinata’s mother and younger sister were there once again. Natsu was laying on the floor, her head resting on a small stuffed animal that she must have brought from home. Hinata’s mother sat in her usual chair, and even in the dim light of the early morning, the tall teen could see the dark circles under her eyes. 

“There are some things I think you should be updated on,” her voice was barely above a whisper, and the slight crack in her voice led Kageyama to believe she had recently been crying.

_ What exactly is going on?  _ He was confused. Taking everything into account, he had assumed that Hinata had passed out again. But from the way that his mother was acting… Something else seemed wrong. Very wrong.

So Kageyama decided to listen to her, making himself comfortable on the floor near the entrance to the room, pulling out his phone. He sent a quick message to Takeda and Coach Ukai, apologizing that he wasn’t going to be at practice. They were both very understanding, though from their responses it seemed like they knew something Kageyama didn’t. He reread over their text messages, trying to piece it together.

_ Contacts: Coach Ukai, Takeda-Sensei _

_ Kageyama: [I’m not going to be at practice today, sorry.] 5:45am _

_ Takeda-Sensei: [I figured you wouldn’t be, don’t worry about it!] 5:46am _

_ Coach Ukai: [Don’t worry, everything will be fine here. Just worry about Ginger today.] 5:46am _

_ Kageyama: [Alright, thanks.] 5:46am _

__ Kageyama thought that would be the end of it. But his phone buzzed again a few minutes later with a message he didn’t know how to feel about. 

_ Coach Ukai: [Kageyama? Remember that Takeda-Sensei and I are here for you if you ever need to talk.] 5:50am _

_ Takeda-Sensei: [That’s right. Anytime you need anything, just let one of us know, okay? Your team is here too.] 5:50am _

__ _ Huh?  _ Kageyama couldn’t figure it out, even after he read it over a few times. He wasn’t sure what exactly they were talking about, but after a few minutes he brushed them off.

_ Kageyama: [Thank you.] 5:52am _

_ Coach Ukai: [Of course, kid.] 5:52am _

Kageyama shut his phone off after going over it a few more times. He leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. He couldn’t get rid of the feeling in his stomach that was making him very uncomfortable. He sat there for nearly an hour, hardly moving a muscle. Eventually, though he opened his eyes and turned his head when he heard the hospital bed creak.

“Mom?” Hinata was sitting up, stretching slightly. 

“I’m here, so is your friend!” Kageyama looked over to see a smile on the woman’s face, though if he was being honest with himself it looked forced.

“Who? Oh, hey, Kageyama!” Hinata’s voice got a little bit higher when the two of them made eye contact. Hinata’s eyes were rimmed with the same red as his mother’s, which only made Kageyama’s heart beat faster. “So...Uh, have you…?” Hinata looked back towards his mother, seemingly struggling with every word. 

“I thought you’d want to. I can if you don’t want to though.”

_ Huh?  _

__ “No, I’ll do it. But why is he here then?” Hinata’s eyes flitted back and forth between the two people, looking confused.

“I told that one teacher who keeps stopping by, and I think he told your coach,” Hinata’s mother recounted, explaining. “I figured you wouldn’t mind, and they have a right to know. They recommended letting this one know,” She gestured with her head to Kageyama, “and that teacher called him last night and told him to come as soon as possible. He’s been here for over an hour now.”

_ So Takeda-Sensei and Coach Ukai do know something, _ something about that thought annoyed Kageyama. 

“I’m sorry mom but could you… Leave? I kind of want to be alone when I tell him.” Hinata’s voice shook and he looked like he was about to start crying again, but if he was he held himself back. 

“Of course. I and your sister will go on a walk and get some fresh air.” She woke the sleeping child and they exited the room after a little bit of complaining from Natsu. 

“So I…” Hinata began as soon as the door shut. He looked as nervous as Kageyama felt. The setter made his way over to the bed after standing up, something telling him that he should be closer to his friend. 

He uncertainly sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Hinata to continue. His heart was racing, and he was desperate to know what the boy was going to say. He could feel the sweat collecting in his palms, and he clamped them together, desperately trying to get rid of the feeling. He didn’t try to force Hinata, he wasn’t sure he could even if he wanted to. Anything he wanted to say would just get caught in his throat the way it usually would when he was this distressed.

“Look I’ll just get straight to the point… I…” Hinata broke off into a coughing fit, and Kageyama watched through panicked eyes as his friend’s face lit up in pain. “Kageyama I…”

“What?! What is it?! Please just tell me,” Kageyama begged, finding his voice again. His mind raced through thousands of scenarios, his brain wildly trying to guess what Hinata would say next. 

However nothing, nothing he thought could have prepared him for the next words to come out of Hinata’s mouth.

“I’m dying.”

Silence. 

Nothing but silence.

Kageyama blinked, the words warping in his mind.

Because there was no way.

There was no way Hinata, the middle blocker on Karasuno, Kageyama’s closest friend, greatest ally, and biggest rival… There was no way he just said he was…

“Dying.” Kageyama repeated the word blankly, hating the way it felt on his tongue. “You.”

Hinata nodded, and before Kageyama realized it there were tears running down his friend's face. 

“Yeah, I am.”

“How?”

“Sickness.”

“No duh.” Kageyama rolled his eyes, ignoring the fact that the boy in front of him started crying harder.

“I got the results from one of the tests and… Well… The doctor diagnosed me with TMPE, Terminal Myocardium Pulmonarius Entropy I believe it was,” Hinata took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “They… They don’t test for it often because the testing process is so hard and there have been so few cases that the doctors hardly even considered it a possibility. But after I kept showing more and more symptoms…”

Kagyama went dead silent. Hinata wasn’t joking. 

This wasn’t fake. 

He wasn’t dreaming. 

“You’re… Dying,” he stated blankly, hardly acknowledging the weight of the words. “But they can fix it, right? The doctors? That’s what you’re here for, right? They’re gonna fix you and then you’re gonna come back to volleyball, to the team, to… Well, to me. And then we’re gonna go to Nationals and we’re gonna win and-” the setter was cut off by Hinata shaking his head.

Only then did Kageyama truly recognize the state Hinata was in. The teen had been decaying, right before his eyes. 

“No,” Hinata whispered, his whole body trembling as he continued to cry. “I’m not. I’m never going to play volleyball again. I’m never making it to Nationals and I’m… I’m... “ His words were cut off as he began to cough, each one wracking his body and making him look was smaller than he ever should have. 

Kageyama couldn’t take it. He jumped out of the bed and fled without thinking. He faintly remembered passing by Hinata’s mother on the way out but he hardly noticed, intent on getting out of that place as fast as he could to care. 

That place that caused him so much pain as a child. The place where he felt heart-wrenching grief for the first time, the place where he had watched someone who meant the world to him fall apart.

The place where history was now repeating itself. 

The place that was trying to take his sun away.

The place he never wanted to go back to.

Kageyama could hardly feel the burn in his lungs as he arrived back home. He could hardly hear the voice of his mother, on some call for work. He hardly even noticed the fact that his curtains were still shut, blocking out any light that tried to get in with the morning light. 

He simply collapsed in bed, burying his head under his pillow. He didn’t know whether he wanted to cry or scream. None of it felt real. None of it was happening. There was no way he was having to go through this again.

_ Not again. _

_ Not him. _

_ Anyone but him, please.  _

\-----------------

“Kageyama? Some friends are here to see you.”

Kageyama didn’t acknowledge his mother as she called into his room. Over the past few days, he had hardly given any attention to anything. He knew multiple people had tried to call him, but he didn’t care. Whatever they had to say was completely unimportant. 

He barely touched the food that his mother left on his bedside table. Honestly, the only thing he did was to get up and use the bathroom a few times a day. For the rest of the time, he stayed in his bed, trying to use the covers to shield him from the cruel reality. 

Because for that frame of time, nothing else could possibly matter. His best friend was dying.

_ And I abandoned him. _

__ Kageyama had to resist the urge to scream every time the thought flew into his head. He dug his fingers into his ears as if that would help convince him that his brain was  _ wrong _ , that he didn’t abandon the person who meant the most to him. 

But he kept returning to the day he ran from the hospital in his mind. The way Hinata had looked when he left, the expression of utter betrayal Kageyama had imagined rested upon the boy's face moments after.

_ He probably hates me now, and I don’t blame him.  _ He stuffed his head back under his pillow, trying not to cry.

“Kageyama?” A new voice called into the room, causing him to stir. 

_ Sugawara? What is he doing here? _

__ “Hey,” Sugawara waved slightly as Kageyama sat up in bed, blinking in complete confusion. Two people stood in the doorway to Kageyama’s room, just lingering there. Sugawara stood in front and unsurprisingly, Daichi stood behind him.

“Hey Kageyama,” Daichi pushed past Sugawara and entered, not waiting for permission. “I hope you don’t mind that we stopped by.”

“What do you want?” Kageyama didn’t intend for the response to come out as cold as it did.

“To check on you,” Sugawara sat down on the edge of Kageyama’s bed, much like he had done at the hospital with Hinata. “To see how you’re doing. You haven’t been at school.”

“Yeah.” Kageyama nodded curtly. Of course he hadn’t been. School wasn’t at all important anymore. 

“How are you doing?” Daichi’s voice was softer than Kageyama was used to. “How are you holding up with… You know,” the captain trailed off, unwilling to put it into words. Kageyama didn’t respond. He just pulled his knees closer to his chest and wrapped the blanket around himself tighter.

“Well… I’ve heard from someone that you haven’t been visiting. What’s up with that?” Sugawara didn’t fail to get right to the point. Kageyama suspected it was their entire reason for visiting. 

“He hates me now,” Kageyama whispered into the blanket, dropping his gaze down.  _ Who wouldn’t? I’m pathetic. He needed me and I ran away. _

__ “What?!” Daichi sounded completely astounded. “That’s not true at all! Where did you get that from?” 

“He has to… I left him…” Kageyama still didn’t raise his voice any higher, his throat sore from lack of use. “He… I just… I left…”

“Kageyama, that’s not true at all.” It was Sugawara who spoke this time, and Kageyama looked up just in time to see the grey-haired third year grab the phone sitting on the nightstand, right next to a plate of untouched food. He flipped it open without asking and held it out for Kageyama to look at. “See this?”

Along with a ton of messages from nearly every member of the team, about a hundred or so missed calls, and a whole lot of other notifications that Kageyama couldn’t be bothered to read, there was one name that stuck out. 

_ Contact: Hinata Shouyou _

_ [57 Unread messages] _

_ Hinata: [I’m sorry.] Monday- 6:02am _

_ Hinata: [Are you ok?] Monday- 6:06am _

_ Hinata: [Kageyama?] Monday- 7:28am _

_ Hinata: [Kageyamaaaa??] Monday- 8:11am _

_ Hinata: [Could you at least let me know you made it home alright?] Monday- 9:57am _

_ Hinata: [When are you gonna come back?] Tuesday- 10:23pm _

_ Hinata: [You better be training >:/ ] Wednesday- 6:14am _

__ There were tons of messages just like it, filling up Kageyama’s inbox. Random notes about how bored Hinata was, exclamations on how much being at the hospital sucked, and how much the teenager wished Kageyama would come visit again. One message in particular stuck out.

_ Hinata: [I miss you.] Saturday- 4:37am _

_ I miss you too. _

“See?” Sugawara commented as soon as Kageyama finished reading. “Would someone who hates you continue to send you that many messages?

“No…” Kageyama stared at his phone, trying to engrave every word into his head.  _ Hinata… Doesn’t hate me.  _

__ “Exactly.” Sugawara took the phone out of Kageyama’s hands, forcing the first year to look up. “So do you know what you’re going to do? You’re going to get out of bed, clean yourself up, and then we’re going to march on over to the hospital and apologize to Hinata for ignoring him all week.”

“I can’t do that!” Kageyama’s voice rose slightly in panic. He wasn’t ready to repeat his experiences as a child. It was better if he just stayed away.

“You can,” Daichi’s voice matched the one he used when he was trying to prepare the team for a game. “Listen to us. You are never going to regret something more in your life than if you stay in bed right now. Hinata wants to see you. Can’t you at least do that for him?”

That comment was how Kageyama found himself on his way to the hospital half an hour later. As soon as he managed to get out of bed Daichi had practically forced him to take a shower, and by the time he had freshened up a bit, the two third years had made his bed. His room was empty when he returned, all the dishes that had been stacking up had been removed, and the random bits of clothing that had been carelessly tossed around had been put away.

_ Thanks guys, _ Kageyama couldn’t help but think to himself as he threw on the first clean clothes he saw. He took a few minutes to look at himself in the mirror before he left the room, and he was glad that he did.

_ I look awful.  _

Despite all the sleeping he had been doing, dark circles had made their home under his eyes and he looked completely exhausted. He even looked slightly weaker, as if the lack of physical exercise had already taken its toll. The teen quickly ran a comb through his hair before exiting the room, legs slightly shaky from lack of use. 

He found Sugawara and Daichi standing near the door, talking with his mother. He pushed past them and out the door, not ready for an emotional conversation.

They made their way to the hospital as fast as they could, the entire walk silent. Kageyama didn’t think anything was important enough to say, there was only one person on his mind. 

He let Daichi check them in while he waited with Sugawara, who was clasping and unclasping his hands together, probably because of nerves. Daichi came back and they set off for the room that Kageyama was all too familiar with.

He paused before the door for a brief moment, almost too nervous to push it open. But once he did he instantly felt a little bit better. Hinata was sitting up in bed, hunched over a different gaming device than the one he had the first visit. While he was still coughing, his complexion hadn’t regained any color, and he was still hooked up to a couple of machines, he wasn’t dead and that was all that mattered. 

“Kageyama!” Hinata looked like he wanted to leap out of bed when they walked into the room. His eyes instantly regained the glimmer that Kageyama had been missing so desperately. If he could, Kageyama would have gone back and kicked his past self for leaving.

_ How did I ever think it would be possible to abandon him? _

“Told you I’d bring him,” Sugawara remained very close to the door, leaning against the wall with one hand in his pocket. 

“Thank you,” Hinata’s voice was slightly weak but nevertheless grateful. 

“We’ll leave you two alone for a minute,” Daichi reached over and grabbed Sugawara’s arm, escorting him out of the room despite the grey-haired setter’s protests.

Kageyama was glad. At Hinata’s invitation, he sat on the edge of the bed again, still lacking the grace that Sugawara had used when he did it. But he was there. He made it, he could now properly apologize. Just as he opened his mouth to do so, Hinata spoke up instead:

“Don’t. There’s nothing you have to apologize for.” 

Kageyama looked up, mouth still open slightly. Hinata had set down his game and was now sitting fully upright. He looked tired, Kageyama couldn’t deny that. Just the thought made him wince slightly. 

“But I left and…”

“I don’t blame you,” Hinata cut him off again, his voice determined. He coughed slightly before continuing, “I would have run out of here too if I could have. I nearly did when they told me, they were this close to having to restrain me.” He held up his right hand, pinching his fingers together to the point where they were nearly touching.

This was so different to their usual conversations that Kageyama didn’t know how to react. He wasn’t used to talking to Hinata with no competition between them, with no insults being thrown. It felt strangely…  _ good. _

__ “So uh… Thank you,” Kageyama managed to stutter out, feeling unusually warm despite the awful situation he was in. “How are you?”

“Alright, a lot of people have come to visit this week which was nice,” Hinata began to count on his fingers, recalling his visitors. “Daichi has stopped by nearly every day, Sugawara came with him a few times as well! That was cool. Yamaguchi stopped by with a basket of food, candy specifically,” Hinata gestured to the stand in the room to where there was a basket filled with candy, some of which had definitely been eaten. 

“Oh! Kenma stopped by the day after you left!” Hinata continued, looking excited. “I wasn’t expecting him to, but I texted him what was going on and he dragged Kuroo all the way here.” He held up the gaming device he had been using beforehand. “He even let me borrow this! Which was nice of him. Kuroo told me that he’d miss playing me in games and that he hoped I was doing alright, which I thought was pretty cool. Even Nishinoya came by after practice on Wednesday! Ennoshita too!” Hinata smiled, probably remembering things that happened on those visits that Kageyama didn’t know about.

_ They’re all so much stronger than me.  _ Kageyama tried to ignore the thought, but it pricked a small hole in his heart anyway. “That’s… Good, I’m glad you’ve had company.”

“Yeah!” Hinata smiled, but then frowned right after. “It’s been fun. But… It doesn’t change anything. I’m still... You know…” He gestured to his arm containing the wires.

“What’s it like?” Kageyama couldn’t stop himself from asking the question, his curiosity getting the better of him. Hinata paused for a few seconds, seemingly pondering his response.

“Well… It’s not fun. Sleeping is hard because I wake up coughing a lot. I just feel, I don’t know, weak and I hate it. I’m always tired, no matter how much sleep and the doctors keep running more and more tests. I’m about completely used to being stabbed with various sharp objects at this point.” Hinata laughed slightly, which soon turned into a cough.

“I can still move around though like I can get out of bed and stuff,” he continued when he had regained his breath. Everything still works normally, it’s just my heart and lungs that are having issues.”

“Did they explain what was wrong with them?”

“It’s just the disorder,” Hinata shrugged. “They don’t know what causes it, but basically my heart and lungs are… Well… They’re deteriorating.” Kageyama watched as Hinata turned away, trying to blink back tears. “I don’t know exactly what that means. But the way it works… I have a shockingly little amount of time left. Once early symptoms develop… People usually have less than six months to… yeah.” 

“And it’s already been at least four…” Kageyama’s breath caught in his throat.

_ That soon? _

_ He’s going to leave me that soon?! _

__ “Kageyama I… I’m scared.”

Those words again. They were all it took for Kageyama’s body to take over his mind. He did something he hadn’t even known he had wanted to do until he did it.

He scooted over in the bed until he was sitting on his knees directly on the right of Hinata, and pulled his best friend close to his chest in the tightest hug he could without hurting the other boy.

He heard Hinata release a small choking sound, and then lean as far as he could into Kageyama’s shoulder. 

“I don’t want to die.”

The dark-haired teen didn’t give a response, just began to run his hand through Hinata’s hair, gently combing out any knots that remained from not moving much in the past few days. 

They sat there for a while, the silence only broken by Hinata’s occasional coughs. Kageyama could feel tears running down his best friend's cheeks, soaking into the taller teen’s shirt but he didn’t mind. He just sat there, clutching the sick boy in his arms, too afraid to ever let go.

“Thank you,” he heard Hinata whisper, breathing heavily. 

“Of course.”

\----------

Kagyema visited the hospital nearly every day that week. Hinata managed to convince him to at least go back to practice, saying that,

“The least you can do for me is do well at Nationals!” Kageyama hadn’t wanted to leave Hinata alone, but the other teenager hadn’t given him much of a choice. So he went back to practice the following Monday. It had gone fairly well considering the circumstances. Almost everyone who knew of Hinata's condition had come up to Kageyama at some point to see how he was doing, most of which the setter brushed off. He only really admitted how hard it was to Sugawara and Daichi, both of whom were very involved and understanding.

Both Takeda and Coach Ukai had pulled him aside at different points throughout the day to see how he was handling things, to which he responded that he was getting by as best as he could. He couldn’t stand the looks of sympathy he was getting though, Hinata deserved the sympathy, not him.

Practices were long and hard, and Kageyama was sure everyone noticed how many mistakes he made. But if they did they didn't say anything. It was like everyone was walking on eggshells around the setter, but Kageyama was too caught up in his little world to pay attention to any of it. 

Many times when he set the ball, his mind convinced himself that Hinata was going to be there to receive it, only for the ball to fall to the floor with a sickening  _ thud.  _ Narita tried his best, but he couldn’t hit the super fastballs that Kageyama had set with Hinata in mind. Nobody tried to comment on it, however, and Kageyama would just mutter a quick apology before going to retrieve the volleyball himself. 

In total, it was a fairly miserable week only made up by the nights he was able to visit the hospital. He never imagined that he would look forward to going into that grief-ridden place, but he often found himself looking forward to the overly clean smell of antiseptic that he had become accustomed to. Without realizing it, he began to relate the scent to seeing his best friend, and he began to get excited about it. 

That particular Saturday, Kageyama was nervous about his visit, however. Something had come up at practice, and while he had initially agreed, he was now having doubts. 

_ What if he gets worse and I’m not there for him? What if everything goes wrong while I’m gone? _

__ “KAGEYAMA THAT’S AMAZING!” Hinata nearly leaped out of his bed when Kageyama broke the news to him. “You?! You were invited to the Tokyo training camp? Over everyone else?” Hinata’s mouth hung open as far as it could go. “I’m so jealous! You’re gonna meet so many amazing players and get to learn so many amazing things! That’s just… Wow!”

“So you think I should go?” Kageyama was slightly surprised at Hinata’s level of enthusiasm. He thought the smaller teen would be more upset. After all, he wasn’t able to go.

_ He’s never going to be able to do something like this.  _ Kageyama didn’t want to think about it, but he couldn’t help but scan the other teen up and down, analyzing his best friend's condition to the best of his abilities. 

Hinata didn’t look any worse than at the start of the week, but he certainly didn’t look any better. He was still able to function completely on his own, and he was even able to leave the hospital almost whenever he wanted to. The two boys had occasionally taken advantage of that, leaving the building to go for a few quick walks while Hinata still could. 

While Hinata tried his best not to let it show, Kageyama knew that he was overall extremely upset. He kept up a brave face whenever there was someone there, but the dark-haired teen knew him better than that. Hinata had never been the best at concealing the way he was feeling, and even someone who wasn’t empathetic could pick up on all of the signs that he was in distress. 

Still, for the most part, they avoided all conversations about Hinata’s rapidly declining health. Kageyama would ask Hinata how he was when he first arrived, Hinata would give him a short update, and they left it at that. 

“Of course!” Kageyama blinked as Hinata’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Why wouldn’t you? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity Kageyama, you  _ have _ to take it!” 

“But..” Kageyama trailed off, unwilling to admit why he was hesitating. 

“But what, don’t worry about me,” Hinata shrugged. “I’ll be fine. Don’t you dare pass this up, if you miss this opportunity, I’ll never forgive you, and that’s a promise.” 

That comment pushed Kageyama to follow the other teen's wishes, and he was on a train two days later on his way to this training camp. He had called Takeda that night to inform him that he would be going, and now in his hand was a slightly crumpled piece of paper with detailed instructions on how to get to the gym where the camp was held.

Except Kageyama was having a difficult time understanding it, as he could only read bits and pieces. This resulted in him panicking slightly, rushing around desperate to get to where he was supposed to be going.

Once he was there, however, he stared up at the huge building, nervousness still rising. This was huge. Hinata was right, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Inside that building were people more incredible than Kageyama had ever seen before.

_ And I’m about to go play with them.  _ He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. The piece of paper from Takeda remained clutched in his hands. He had actually arrived. 

“Karasuno high volleyball club… You’re the people who beat Ushijima.” 

Kageyama quickly turned to see who had spoken. It was another teenager, one with decently long black hair that fell elegantly into waves. Kageyama also noticed that the newcomer was wearing a mask.

_ Wait… That’s Sakusa Kiyoomi, he’s from the Itachiyama Institute,  _ Kageyama remembered hearing the name before.  _ He’s only a second year, but he’s one of the top three spikers in Japan.  _ Kageyama quickly greeted him, feeling his excitement rising. 

_ I can't wait for what’s coming. _

\---------------

A small boy leaped into the air, quickly going to receive a ball. Kageyama’s eyes widened as he watched. The way that the teenager jumped off the ground with such ease, the graceful arch of his back, the way he landed, hardly making a sound… All of it reminded Kageyama of a certain small middle blocker waiting for him back at home. 

_ That’s exactly how Hinata used to hit my sets… _ Kageyama stood there, paralyzed. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair. He shook off the thought violently, trying to get his head back into the game. Hinata told him to learn at this camp, Hinata wanted him to learn new things, Hinata wanted him to improve. 

_ Hinata wants to play volleyball. _

__ Every time Kageyama looked at the small boy with the white hair, he couldn’t help but replace him with Hinata. Because Hinata deserved to be doing everything that the other boy could. If everything was normal, this boy would have been an amazing example to Kageyama about how to go about working with his best friend. If everything was normal, he would be analyzing every bit of this other kid’s strategy, trying to figure out every bit of information he could have.

But it was no use. Things weren’t normal. Every day since Kageyama had left for camp, he felt a sense of urgency building up inside of him. He was with so many amazing players, athletes more talented than the setter could ever imagine. 

Yet all Kageyama wanted to do was return home to one specific athlete, one who could hardly even be considered an athlete anymore. 

He knew he wasn’t playing his best, he knew the officials were probably disappointed in their choice, but Kageyama didn’t care. He felt weak and tired, tired of being stressed, tired of not knowing how Hinata was. He had received plenty of texts over the past few days, Hinata almost constantly updated him on everything that was going on back home. 

Kageyama had even received a picture at the beginning of the week, where it looked like a few people were visiting the hospital for a party of sorts. Kageyama stared at the photo for a few minutes, analyzing it. It was Sugawara who had taken the selfie, his arm extended to hold the camera as he held up a small piece sign with his other hand. Behind him stood Hinata, who looked pale but was on his own two feet, grinning. Next to him stood Bokutou, who must have stopped by for a visit. Just from the picture, Kageyama could tell he was as loud and energetic as ever. On Hinata’s other side stood Yamaguchi and Daichi, who were both smiling awkwardly. It looked like they were caught off guard before the picture.

In the very back of the photo, Kenma sat curled up next to Kuroo, his gaze fixed on the tiny handheld device that he was probably playing some game on. Lastly, Akaashi was sitting in the chair that Hinata’s mother was usually in, and Tsukishima stood in the corner, looking annoyed. 

The picture looked peaceful, but it made Kageyama’s chest ache in a way he couldn’t explain. 

He still had two days before he could return to the hospital. He wouldn’t lie and say that he wasn’t having a good time, and he was certain he was learning a lot. There were many talented players, a few of which he had conversations with even after camp had ended for the day.

But still, none of them compared to Hinata. No set that he sent up had the same feeling when they were hit by someone else. 

As much as he hated to admit it, the texts he received made him jealous. Hinata told him of the games that he had watched Kenma beat, the stories of practice Daichi and Sugawara told, he even got a bit of an inside scoop of some of the drama going on at Fukurodani (apparently Bokuto was intent on sharing everything that was going on with their volleyball team, and Akaashi hadn’t been able to stop him.) According to Hinata, pretty much the entire team had shown up Thursday night, much to the dismay of all the people working at the hospital. Hinata texted him directly after, intent on telling him everything that had happened, including Nishinoya, Kinoshita, and Tanaka nearly getting kicked out of the room for causing too much ruckus. 

As much as the texts settled Kageyama’s nerves, they made him upset. He wanted to be there, with them, with  _ him.  _

So he had never been so excited for a Friday before in his life. He quickly said goodbye to everyone once the day was over, ready to get back as fast as he could. He could feel his heartbeat picking up the entire way home from the exhausting week.

Before he left he had heard the excitement in some of the other’s voices at the prospect of getting home and resting. However, Kageyama knew he wasn’t going to be resting for a single second.

It was getting dark by the time he finally arrived at the hospital, out of breath from jogging the whole way from the train station. He quickly checked in with the lady at the front, who commented that she hadn’t seen him in a while. He simply told her that he had been away, and began to make his way down the now familiar halls. 

He paused in front of Hinata’s door, trying to collect his thoughts. He took a deep breath, and entered the room.

“What happened?!” Kageyama gasped, rushing to Hinata’s bedside. 

The boy was curled up, his back to Kageyama. He was shivering slightly, despite the blanket that was tucked up as far as it could go without covering his head. 

At the sound of Kageyama’s voice Hinata stirred, stretching out slightly. He yawned, which instantly triggered a bout of coughing. 

“Kageyama!” Hinata sat up quickly as soon as he realized who was there. “You’re back! Tell me everything!”

“But…. You…” Kageyama couldn’t find the words. Hinata looked, simply put, awful. His skin was nearly white, and he looked completely frail. His hair was once again a mess, and he seemed smaller than ever.

“What, I look different?” Hinata’s eyes glazed over with pain and he hunched over as coughs racked his body once again. 

“Uh, yeah.” Kageyama was acutely aware of how awkward he felt standing there as Hinata tried to regain his composure. He couldn’t move. He was hardly aware of his thoughts, a mess trapped inside his brain.

_ He’s dying. You left him again, and look at how he is now. This is all your fault. You never should have left him alone. _

__ Kageyama knew it wasn’t true, Hinata’s condition wasn’t his fault. But standing there, seeing his best friend in so much pain… Kageyama couldn’t stop the voice in his head from repeating the thought over and over again. 

“I promise I’m alright. Like… I’m not, but that’s not the point. I want to know everything that happened at camp! Come on, was it everything you hoped it would be?”

Images of the small boy with white hair plagued Kageyama’s vision. 

“There were… A lot of great players there,” Kageyama shifted on his feet, picking up Hinata’s nervous habit without any recognition. “They were all talented, and yeah, it was cool to get to play with them.”

“Who was there? Do I know any of them? Have I heard of any of them? Cmon, gimme more than that!” Hinata’s eyes shone, and Kageyama gave in. He walked over to the edge of the bed and began to rapidly talk about his experiences that week, going into as much detail as he could remember. He told Hinata all of the positions he played, and about how it felt to work with pro players like Sakusa Kiyoomi, or Miya Atsumu. 

Hinata clung to his every word, interrupting with exclamations or questions occasionally. Kageyama was very aware of every time Hinata fell into a coughing fit or the way his body shook often, but he didn’t press the issue. It took a while for him to recover from his initial shock of seeing Hinata’s worsened condition, but he felt calmer by the time he returned home that night. 

Still, he found himself looking over their previous text messages. Despite re-reading them multiple times, he couldn’t find anything that implied Hinata had been getting worse. He opened the picture from the beginning of the week and stared at Hinata for a while. Hinata looked so… Happy.

_ Dammit, why didn’t you tell me you weren’t doing well? _

__ Kageyama fell asleep that night with his phone in hand, still open on the photo. 

\----------------

“Really?! They said I could go?!” Hinata jumped out of bed, wobbling for a second after he landed. He gripped the railing as his legs nearly collapsed under him.

“They said as long as you’re careful you can, now sit back down!” Hinata’s mother snapped, causing the ginger-haired teen to complain under his breath. “Yes, they said you could go, but you can’t walk there, you have to take a wheelchair just in case, and you have to come back as soon as it’s over.”

It was Sunday, December 16th, two days after Kageyama had returned from training camp. They had just received the news that Date Tech was coming over for a practice game on the 17th, which Kageyama had informed Hinata of.

Now, they were sitting in the hospital while Hinata’s mother told the ginger-haired teen that he could attend the match to watch. Kageyama felt extremely excited, though he would never voice that. He knew it would be hard for Hinata to not be able to play, but with volleyball, completely out of his life he had quickly slipped into a depression.

While he was always excited when Kageyama came to visit, the tiny details told another story. There would be times where Hinata would quickly look away when Kageyama entered, his eyes red. Although he smiled a lot, there was always something…  _ Sad  _ about it. It was hard to miss the longing in Hinata’s voice when he spoke about volleyball, and Kageyama knew just how much his best friend missed it. 

As much as he was trying to hide it, Hinata wasn’t happy. Kageyama knew that. He tried to deny it, tried to convince himself that Hinata had been happy the past few months, despite everything happening to him. 

But he wasn’t. 

So Kageyama’s heart skipped a beat when he heard the excitement in his best friend’s voice at the thought of attending the game. It had been such a long time since Hinata had set foot in the gym, and Kageyama could tell every day had been a battle. Shortly after Hinata had received his diagnosis, the boy had stopped coming to school altogether. There was no reason for him to be there. Hinata himself had decided he didn’t want to spend his last few months doing school. So his mother had pulled him out, and he hadn’t returned. 

Kageyama felt like he could absorb the energy radiating off of Hinata. He was uncertain about how the game would go. While Narita was trying his best, he was still no Hinata. Kageyama himself still hadn’t recovered his usual abilities. Sometimes he would completely envelop himself in the game and forget about everything else, and that was when he played his best. In those moments, Hinata didn’t exist. It was just him, the ball, and the other people on the court.

But then he would remember the sound of Hinata next to him, the excited shouts of “I’m here!” Or the thrill of the quick attack, the satisfaction of seeing Hinata hit the spike perfectly on the other side of the court. When that happened, his form would crumble. Everything felt... Lost. It reminded him of how things were in middle school. He felt… Abandoned. Worthless. 

Without Hinata there… He felt  _ alone.  _

Even though his team was there, he could hardly hear them. Their words entered his mind and then left the second after. None of them reached him. 

Practice used to be his favorite place in the world, but he found himself less and less excited to go. Not when the person who mattered to him sat in a room not even thirty minutes away. So the idea of the two things he cared about meeting again, at last, made him more excited than he was willing to say. Though looking over at Hinata, who was sitting back on the bed with a huge stupid grin on his face, he realized that Hinata was even more excited than him. 

_ Even though he’s not playing… Anything to be a part of volleyball really means the world to him, huh?  _ Kageyama smiled. Even though everything felt like it had been covered in despair the past few months… This felt like a glimmer of hope. Even though Kageyama knew things  _ weren’t  _ going to be okay, he allowed himself to believe that they would be, just for a day. 

\-------------

“You were amazing!” Hinata got out of his wheelchair and held his hands up for a high five, his legs nearly giving out in the process. He stumbled, nearly crashing into Kageyama, who helped him sit back down before returning the gesture. 

“You were told not to get up! And we still lost,” Kageyama grumbled, not really caring who was listening.

“Correction, I was told to be careful, not that I couldn’t even stand on my own two feet,” Hinata pouted, looking annoyed. “But still! That was such a cool game! I would have given anything to be in it!” Hinata exclaimed, then instantly succumbed to a coughing fit. 

“I wish you could have played too,” Narita piped up from the corner, looking defeated. The setter could tell the second year was feeling guilty. It wasn’t his fault they had lost the match, nor did it matter in the end. After all, it was just a practice game. However, Kageyama knew that it was going to have a huge impact on their Nationals outlook. He looked around the room to see everyone looking tense. 

Kageyama left Hinata’s side as Yamaguchi and a member of Date Tech began to talk to the ginger teenager. The first year decided to go off in search of someone to talk to about the match. The first person he ran into who could give him what he was looking for was Daichi. 

“What is it Kageyama?” Daichi turned from where he had been having a conversation with Coach Ukai. Kageyama shifted his weight, tilting his head slightly.

“I was wondering… How this is going to affect Nationals,” he admitted uncomfortably. Daichi sighed, which wasn’t the encouragement Kageyama had been hoping for. 

“That’s actually what we were just talking about,” Coach Ukai interrupted, facing Kageyama directly. “I think getting in the practice here was good, but losing is going to cost us.”

Kageyama nodded, understanding. “We’re not out of this yet.”

“Of course we aren’t!” Daichi agreed. “We still have just as much of a chance as everyone else. We just have to convince them of that.” He pointed towards the rest of the team, who were talking in small groups, some with members of the other team. Even from afar everyone looked… Dejected. 

“C'mon guys!” Sugawara’s voice rang out, calling the attention of everyone in the gym. “Sure, these guys beat us today. We can’t change that. But we aren’t out of the running just yet. Sure, a lot of things have happened that we can’t change, and we are going into this with less preparation than we’d like. But we haven’t lost yet, so why are you all looking so down?” 

Kageyama watched as Hinata stood up at Sugawara’s words. “Can I say something?”

“Sure Hinata, take it away.”

“I can’t play anymore. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s the truth.” The entire gym was completely silent, intent on hearing what Hinata had to say. Even the members of Date Tech seemed to be interested in what the sick teen was going to talk about. “I’ve spent so many days upset over that. Upset at my body, upset with the doctors, upset with the team, upset with anyone and anything that was preventing me from doing what I love. But… I’ve come to terms with that. It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone's fault. It’s just the reality.”

Hinata broke off to cough, his entire body shaking with the force of it. He looked up again, his skin completely free of any sign of color it once had. 

“But I know what I want now. Daichi once told me that I was still going to be a part of this team no matter what and… I believe him. I am a part of Karasuno. And as a result… I just want you all to do well. I used to be jealous of anyone who still got to play, and I even resented some of you for it for a while. But now… I just want you to do your best. We are a strong team, don’t give up hope. We can still win this! Don’t give up yet, okay? For me.”

Hinata sat down after his speech, and was immediately plagued by another bout of coughing. 

“Hinata is right.” It was Ennoshita who spoke up this time, stepping out from where he had been standing next to Sugawara. “I’ll be the first to say that I quit too easily. But… Giving up isn’t an option right now. We’ve come so far, and we aren’t going to lose now, okay?”

“Exactly!” Nishinoya had run up to Hinata’s wheelchair, and he gently slung his arm over the younger boy as he spoke. “We can do this!”

“Sorry if that came off as rude,” Sugawara bowed to the Date Tech team, who were all still littered across the gym, standing awkwardly. 

“Thank you so much for your time today,” Takdea joined the third year in bowing politely. “We appreciate it.”

The atmosphere improved slightly after that. Kageyama could still sense the hesitance of all the players, however, he knew that things were going to get better. When they left that night, Kageyama felt reassured that they did have a chance. 

Before Kageyama knew it, the athletes from Date Tech had gone home, as had a lot of the members of Karasuno. Only Hinata, Ennoshita, Daichi, Sugawara, and Takeda remained. Hinata was rapidly talking to Sugawara about something, and Daichi, Takeda, and Ennoshita were discussing the team in the corner. Kageyama stood there awkwardly, not sure which group to join. He didn’t have to make that decision, however, as Sugawara and Hinata began to make their way over to the rest of the group. Hinata looked determined, and Kageyama’s interests rose.

“Takeda-Sensei?” Hinata’s voice was small, nervous, but certain at the same time. 

“Yes Hinata? What is it?” The teacher paused what he was talking about and turned to the wheelchair that Sugawara had pushed over.

“You offered to bring me back to the hospital, right?” 

“Right….” Takeda looked uncertain, probably unsure as to where the conversation was leading. 

“Well… I know that you were told to take me home right away and that I should be resting and I know it was a huge risk for me to come here today and I’m not forcing you to say yes-”

“Whoa slow down.” Daichi interrupted, holding out his hands. “We don’t know what you’re saying.” Hinata paused, taking a few seconds to gasp for air. He coughed a few times and then cleared his throat.

“I was wondering if we could make a small stop on the way home.” The boy looked nervous, probably afraid of being rejected. 

“You know we’re not supposed to-” Takeda tried to interrupt, but he was cut off quickly by Sugawara.

“He just explained it to me and… It’s something really important to him. Even though it’s not smart, and it goes against what his mother said… I think we should let him.” Sugawara’s tone was calm yet forceful. 

_ What’s going on? _

“Will it be quick?” Takeda looked at Hinata, trying to gauge his condition. Hinata nodded his head as fast as he could. 

“There’s just… Somewhere I want to go. I never thought that it would get so bad that I wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital. But… I had such a hard time convincing my mom to let me come today that I’m scared I’m not going to get another chance. This… May be my last time visiting this gym.” Hinata’s voice wavered, and he made a small gasping sound as if he was trying to choke back tears. 

_ His… Last time? No… There’s no way… There’s still so many things I have to do with him here… There’s so many things that happened here… He’s really giving all that up so easily?!  _ There was nothing Kageyama could say, so he held his tongue. 

“Well… If it’s that important to you…” Takeda scratched the back of his head, still looking uncertain. “Where is it?”

“It’s just… A certain place. I swear it’s not too far out, I promise. It’s… Kind of a random location and… I promise it’s nothing bad!” Hinata reassured, catching the look of fear on Daichi and Ennoshita’s faces. 

_ He's talking about the tree.  _

__ Suddenly it clicked. Hinata wanted to go back to the tree on the hill.

_ For… For the last time.  _

Kageyama had to fight to keep the knot in his throat from coming undone. It wasn’t the time. It wasn’t the time to break down.  _ Not like last time. I have to stay strong… I’m not going to abandon Hinata again. _

__ “I know where he wants to go,” Kageyama choked out, stepping forward. He met Hinata’s eyes and saw a mix of sadness and gratitude lying there. Hinata nodded, confirming Kageyama’s suspicions. Kageyama nodded back, letting Hinata know that his request was heard.

The setter turned back to the others, making up his mind. “I know where Hinata wants to go. I promise it won’t take long, and I’ll keep him safe. Please, just give him this.” The room went quiet for a few moments. 

“Okay.” Takeda finally relented. Relief showed upon Hinata’s face, and he shakily stood up and wrapped Takeda up in a hug. 

“Thank you, Sensei,” He whispered, almost too quiet for Kageyama to pick it up. The setter thought that he may have noticed tears forming in the corner of the teacher's eyes. 

They said goodbye to the other athletes, until just Takeda, Kageyama, and Hinata remained inside the gym. 

“If you don’t mind… Could I have a minute alone?” Hinata’s voice was still low, lacking the usual energy it used to hold. “I want…” He paused, his body shivering as he coughed. “I want to say goodbye.”

“Sure,” Takeda nodded, understanding. He began to walk out, and Kageyama glanced over his shoulder to look at Hinata one more time before he left too. 

“How are you?” Takeda asked once they were outside. Kageyama just shrugged, unable to put his thoughts into words. 

He wanted to run back into the gym and smack Hinata for being so serious. He wanted to tell him that there was no way that he would never return to the gym, that everything was going to be okay. But he knew it wasn’t. He felt in his gut that Hinata was right, this would be the last time he visited the gym. 

_ Why does it have to be like this? _

__ It was quiet until Hinata wheeled himself out a few moments later. Takeda and Kageyama helped him down the stairs, and then they were off to Takeda’s car. Kageyama purposely chose to not point out the puffiness in Hinata’s eyes, or the tear stains on his cheeks. They made their way to the car in complete silence.

“So where am I heading?” 

“Turn that way.” Kageyama pointed, giving directions. He could sense that Hinata was growing too weak to talk, so he instructed the teacher to the tree. Soon enough they arrived. There wasn’t much space to park, so Kageyama just suggested that Takeda pull up to the side of the road, which the teacher reluctantly agreed to.

“Can you wait here? We’ll be right back.” Kageyama wasn’t sure if the question came off as rude, but Takeda respected it anyway. He simply nodded and turned the car off, and gestured for them to go. 

Hinata looked exhausted. In the end, Kageyama decided that the wheelchair wasn't worth it, and simply scooped the small teen up into his arms without thinking too much about it. He didn’t have a second to feel embarrassed, he was too concerned with how light Hinata felt. He knew the boy had been losing weight, but… He shook his head, trying not to focus on it too much. 

They made their way up the hill slowly, and Kageyama was exhausted by the time they reached the top. He set Hinata down near the base of the tree, panting.

“Kageyama?” He turned to see a few tears streaking down Hinata’s face.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” Hinata’s breath caught and he coughed a few times again, causing a few more tears to fall down his face. 

“Of course dumbass, now shut up and save your energy.”

“No, seriously,” Hinata shook as a breeze whisked past. “I know we haven’t always gotten along. I hated your guts at first, seriously. But… You’ve done so much for me. Some of my best memories are at this place. This place, and the gym. And it’s thanks to you. So… Thank you. For everything. Thank you for challenging me to be my best. Thank you for encouraging me, even if it was in a not-so-encouraging way. Thank you for spending so much of your time with me. Thank you for every second you spent with me, every set you sent my way, every time we came to this tree. Thank you… Thank you for everything.” It seemed like there was so much more than Hinata wanted to say, but it was broken off by the sounds of his sobs. 

Kageyama felt hollow. His best friend was dying… And he couldn’t do anything about it. He did what his body told him to, however, and scooted closer to Hinata. Without thinking, he grabbed Hinata’s hand and began to rub his thumb over it in small circles. Hinata closed the gap between them even more and leaned against Kageyama’s shoulder.

His heartbeat picked up, but he chose to ignore it. They sat there for a few minutes, the silence broken by the sound of Hinata’s soft crying. Kageyama didn’t know how to comfort him; he just held the hand of the boy he cared so much about as he tried to forget. The sun had already set, but the darkness wasn’t scary. The stars lit up the sky and the teenager felt at peace, even if it was only for a moment. 

“Hinata?”

“Yeah?” Hinata whispered, his voice hoarse and frail.

“You’re welcome.”

\--------------------

Kageyama’s gut was right. Hinata didn’t return to the gym, or the tree, after that day. The Wednesday after the game, Hinata’s condition rapidly worsened once again. By the time Kageyama arrived at the hospital that night, Hinata was hardly able to get out of bed. Kageyama ended up doing more of the talking because Hinata was having a harder time speaking without his body contorting with raspy coughs. 

The few times Hinata had tried to stand, his legs almost immediately gave out and Kageyama had to scoop him back up into bed before he hurt himself. 

The next couple of weeks felt a little bit like torture. Many people came to visit, but a lot of them couldn’t stay long, and Kageyama didn’t blame them. Seeing Hinata in his condition was… Tragic. But despite all of that, Kageyama spent every spare second by his best friend's side. He was still forced to go to school, and he kept his promise to Hinata that he would train for Nationals, but other than that he was constantly at the hospital. Nearly every member of the staff knew him by name, and he had ended up getting to know Hinata’s mother and sister pretty well. But still, he was there for Hinata and Hinata alone. 

Kageyama looked over to the corner of the room, where an object very familiar to the setter was plugged into the wall. It made him smile, seeing its glow in the corner of the room. He had given the nightlight to Hinata shortly after the boy had come to stay at the hospital permanently, hoping it would bring comfort to Hinata in the same way it always had for him.

Hinata had looked confused when Kageyama had given it to him, and all the tall teenager could muster out was simply: “you said you got lonely here… So... Take it.”

Hinata followed the instruction, and it had been lighting the room ever since. 

The day before they were supposed to leave for Nationals, Hinata’s condition was not any better. He had already figured out that he wasn’t going to be able to go, and it was something he had complained to the setter every chance he got. Kageyama didn’t want to go without him. But he had come up with a plan, something that would hopefully satisfy both their desires, without risking Hinata’s health. 

He had to go far out of his comfort zone for it to work, but in the end, he and Kenma had come up with a plan. While Kageyama and Kenma weren’t friends, he knew he had to do it for Hinata. And Kenma had exactly what he was looking for. It took some convincing, but he had gotten Coach Ukai to drive him out to Kenma’s house for a package, which he now held out for Hinata to look at. 

“What’s this?” Hinata’s voice could hardly move above a whisper anymore. He pulled a screen out of the package and held it up to inspect it. “Oh, there’s two.”

“They’re video chatting devices,” Kageyama pulled the third item out from the package, “and this is a high-quality camera. I figured we could set it up at the game on Saturday so… You know… You could be there.”

“Kageyama…” Hinata coughed, then continued when he regained his breath. “You did this all for me?” 

“Well… Kenma and Coach Ukai helped,” Kageyama admitted, feeling too awkward to meet Hinata’s excited gaze. 

“This is amazing…” He clutched the device to his chest, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “I guess I’m going to Nationals after all.”

“We could never go without you,” Kageyama moved over and sat at the foot of the bed, still feeling very hot. Hinata just gave him a small smile, but his eyes shone with the gratitude Kageyama knew the sick teen was too weak to express. 

Kageyama spent a few minutes explaining how it worked and how to set it up to both Hinata and his mother. Both of the screens had cameras, so they would be able to see each other as they talked. But for the actual game, Karasuno was bringing the camera so that Hinata could get a clearer picture. 

Someone who wasn’t a part of the team may argue that it was pointless, that there were going to be so many screens there already capturing the content of the game. But Kageyama knew better than that. He knew that this was the best way to bring Hinata along with them. Because Hinata wasn’t just some fan watching on some TV screen far away.

Hinata was a member of Karasuno. Nothing was going to change that. 

Before long, Kageyama had to return home. They were leaving the next day, and as much as he hated it he had to go home before too late to ensure that he got as much rest as he could. He informed Hinata of this, who simply nodded. Just as Kageyama was about to exit the room for the last time before the big competition, he heard Hinata’s small voice speak up:

“We’re gonna win, aren’t we?”

“Of course we are. You better still be here when we get back so that we can celebrate.”

“Of course.” Hinata gave Kageyama another small smile, and that was the last thing the setter saw before he left the room. 

\---------------------

“This place totally looks like it’s haunted!” Tanaka shouted, gesturing around the room. 

“Tanaka I already told you, stop speaking so badly about the place!” Daichi barked, fed up with the second year already.

“Could you guys be any louder?” Ennoshita sighed, yawning slightly. 

It had been a long day, and Kageyama was exhausted. They had spent most of the day on the bus, on the way to the stadium where Nationals was being held, and everyone’s excitement had been skyrocketing. They had arrived at the inn about an hour ago and were now calling Hinata since things seemed mostly settled. 

“I wish I could see it!” Hinata exclaimed as best he could. Everyone was finally winding down for the night, except for the few second years whose energy never seemed to dip.

“I wish you could too,” Nishinoya piped in, tackling Tanaka to get to the front of the camera. “We all miss you!”

“I miss you guys too,” Hinata smiled sadly. The inn room went quiet for a moment as Hinata’s breath shook, trying to get oxygen. “You guys better play your best tomorrow, I’ll be cheering you on!” He said once he was mostly recovered. 

“I do not doubt that,” Sugawara looked up from where he had previously had his head bent over a book. “And we’re going to do exactly as he said, right guys?” 

The phrase was met with excited cheers, which caused Hinata’s lips to twitch upwards again. 

“As much as I don’t want to cut this short, you guys need to get to bed!” Coach Ukai called into the room, looking stern. “We have a long day ahead, I’m sure Hinata understands that. Now say goodnight and go to sleep.”

“Yes sir.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kageyama reached forward to switch off the device, seeing his face reflected in the now blank screen. He quickly packed it away and methodically went through the motions of being prepared to go to sleep. 

_ We’re going to win tomorrow. I’m going to win. I’ll win for Hinata.  _

\---------------------

_ No! _

__ The thud of the ball echoed in his ears.

_ No… This wasn’t how it was supposed to go… _

The cheering. So much cheering. The sour sound pounded into Kageyama’s ears, the defeat echoing over and over again.

_ NO! _

__ “Kageyama, I’m so sorry…” Kageyama was vaguely aware of Narita’s voice, faintly aware of the sounds of his teammates trying to comfort him. 

_ It’s my fault, it’s all my fault.  _

Kageyama had woken up feeling out of place. Something felt off, but he couldn’t quite place it. He chalked it up to being nervous, that everything was going to be fine once he stepped onto the court.

_ It wasn’t supposed to end like this. _

He set the ball. He forgot. He completely forgot. His visions of Hinata had taken over, he thought Hinata had been there, and he set off the quick set without thinking. At match point. 

Of course, Narita hadn’t been able to hit it. 

_ This is all my fault.  _

He could hear people crying. He wasn’t sure who it was, nor did he care. 

_ We lost, and it’s my fault.  _

Someone hugged him, and he didn’t resist. He just buried his head into the person’s shoulders as his mind assaulted him over and over again. 

_ My fault. My fault. I’m sorry Hinata. I’m sorry. It’s my fault. _

__ He moved in robotic motions as they lined up, and thanked the other team for playing them. Kageyama didn’t know what team they were. Their names couldn’t matter less. He just moved, shook hands with people, then moved on. 

He didn’t listen to a word of Coach Ukai’s speech. He didn’t look up to see the third year in tears, their last volleyball game in high school over. He didn’t bother to see the looks of disappointment that the second years must have been wearing. He simply didn’t care. 

“Hello? What is it? Is everything okay?” Kageyama finally looked up when he heard the panic in Coach Ukai’s voice. The coach had a phone up to his ear, and he was wearing a concerned expression. 

_ What is it now? _

“Oh god- We’ll head back as quickly as we can. I’m sure you know what happened. We just have to grab our stuff and we’ll be on our way.”

“What’s going on?” Kageyama couldn’t stop himself from asking. 

“Don’t freak out,” Coach Ukai looked directly at Kageyama as he said it.

_ Huh, I’ve heard those words before. _

__ “But Hinata has gotten worse. We should… Probably get there as soon as possible.” 

_ Oh. _

Kageyama felt too numb to respond. Of course. Of course, Hinata wasn’t doing well. Suddenly the game didn’t matter anymore. Winning or losing didn’t matter anymore. Volleyball didn’t matter anymore. 

_ I want to go home. _

They left the stadium with their heads hung low. They said goodbye to both Nekoma and Fukurodani before leaving, both teams looked sad to see them leave. Kageyama could feel eyes on him the whole way out of the building, and he heard the whispers from the other teams:

“Did you see how awful that setter was?”

“What was he thinking, trying to pull off that quick attack?”   
“He’s clearly inexperienced.”

If everything was normal, their words would have bothered him. If everything was normal, he may have responded with a witty comeback or a quick retort, but it didn’t matter.

_ Not anymore.  _

They couldn’t get back fast enough in Kageyama's opinion. The second they had arrived back at school, Kageyama had hopped into Takeda’s car with Coach Ukai, Sugawara, and Daichi. A few other people had wanted to come along but the coach had told them no, and that they shouldn’t overwhelm Hinata.

The five people headed over to the hospital quickly, not wanting to waste a single moment. As soon as they walked into the room, Kageyama’s worst fears were confirmed:

Hinata really was dying.

Kageyama had never seen another person look worse. The boy looked so small, with so many wires attached to him that he looked more like a robot than a human. He had an oxygen mask attached to his face, helping him cling to the little bit of life that he had left. 

The dark-haired teen instantly rushed to his best friend’s side, trying to analyze every feature. Hinata’s chest moved up and down shallowly as he fought to inhale. He was so thin, and even the thick blanket that was covering him didn’t stop his shivering. His hair was a complete mess, even more so than usual. 

But despite everything, Hinata opened his eyes when Kageyama entered. The boy couldn’t talk, but from the tears in his eyes, Kageyama knew he was in a lot of pain. 

“Did you watch the game?” Kageyama couldn’t help but ask, crouching down to get as close to Hinata as possible. His heart sank slightly and he squeezed his eyes shut when Hinata nodded.

_ So he knows I didn’t keep my word. He knows what a failure I really am and-  _

__ His internal stream of thoughts was interrupted by a small sound from Hinata. It didn’t sound like his usual coughing sounds however, it was more intentintional. The noise made Kageyama open his eyes again and meet gazes with his closest friend. 

Though he couldn’t say anything, Kageyama knew Hinata well enough to know what he wanted to say just by looking in his eyes.

_ He’s proud of me.  _

__ “Don't be proud of me you idiot! We lost! I lost… I…” Kageyama trailed off unsure of where he was going with the statement. But Hinata’s hand twitched, and Kageyama instinctively grabbed it. The dying teenager seemed to muster up his strength before squeezing Kageyama’s hand once, trying to reassure him. 

Kageyama let it work. He sighed, sliding down to sit on the floor beside Hinata, still clutching his best friend's weak hand. He leaned against the bed and relaxed, and decided that maybe, just maybe, he had done all that he could. 

They remained like that for a few hours, Hinata fighting for his every breath. He thought he may have heard Takeda leave to take Coach Ukai home at one point, promising to return whenever the three athletes wanted to go home. Whether he had come back or not yet, Kageyama was unsure.

Kageyama also noticed at one point that Hinata’s mother was in the room, but Natsu was not present. He remembered hearing once that Natsu had been staying at a friend's house whenever things got rough at the hospital, and he supposed this counted as one of those times. 

But other than that, he figured Daichi and Sugawara were probably still there but he didn’t bother to check. He just sat there beside the bed for what felt like a few minutes but was realistically probably a few hours. Time didn't matter. 

He could feel Hinata going weaker every minute, and he tried his hardest to pretend that it wasn’t happening. Hinata wasn’t leaving him. Everything was going to be okay.

_ It has to be. _

_ The sun is supposed to last forever, right? Even when night rolls around, the sun is still there. It doesn’t fully go away. It’s supposed to stay around, no matter what. _

__ Hinata. The boy who had brought so much light into his life. The boy who had taught him how to trust people again after his grandfather passed away. The boy who taught him how to believe in a team. The boy who made the world of everyone around him just a little bit brighter.

Calling Hinata the sun wasn’t a false statement. He really did shine brighter than the rest of the world around him. He made Kageyama feel safe and reminded him that even in what felt like endless nights, there was still a little bit of light that peaked through, reminding the setter that it wasn’t over yet.

_ But if Hinata is the sun, isn’t he supposed to be in my life forever? _

__ Kageyama couldn’t find the answer to that. 

Eventually, after another period that Kageyama lost track of, Hinata’s hand fell limp in his. Within moments Kageyama was on his feet, desperately trying to delay the inevitable. He scanned his best friend's face, trying to not let the knot in his throat come undone. Trying his hardest to keep his composure. But when he saw the rise and fall of Hinata’s chest growing weaker and weaker, there was nothing he could do to stop himself from screaming. 

“NOT YET, PLEASE, PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME,” 

Kageyama kept clutching the small hand. The hand of the only other person he would acknowledge. No matter how tightly he squeezed, however, he couldn’t get a response. He moved closer to the hospital bed, nearly falling on top of it in desperation. His voice was rough, and he felt like he was being suffocated by the pressure in his own throat. But none of that mattered, not now.

“HINATA PLEASE, SAY SOMETHING,” he collapsed onto the floor once again, his vision blurring with unreleased tears. There was a loud ringing playing in his ears, and he barely heard one of the nurses mutter something about removing someone from the room. But none of it mattered. Not when Hinata, his teammate, his closest friend, the person who meant everything to him, lay before him on his last breaths. Kageyama desperately scanned the small boy’s face, trying to cling to the false hope that he would make it out of this okay. 

_ He can’t go. He can’t. He has to stay with me forever! Please Hinata… Please... _

__ The ginger’s face was shallow, his eyes open wide but sunken ever so slightly back. There was no emotion in them, nothing but a blank stare fixated upon a bright light above his head. Sweat glistened over his forehead and dripped down the side of his face, his lips dry and cracked. His mouth opened and closed rapidly, still fighting with every breath to stay afloat. Kageyama rubbed his thumb over the back of Hinata’s clammy hand, the limpness of it sending a pang through his heart.

“Please…” He whispered, barely able to muster up the strength to say it. 

Out of nowhere he felt something grab him from behind and pull him to his feet, tugging on the back of his shirt roughly. His hand slipped from where he was clutching Hinata’s, the latter flopping down at an uncomfortable angle. Kageyama lunged to grab it again, but the thing gripping him wouldn’t let go. He tried to break free from its grasp, his desperation maxing as he desperately clawed at the arm that was now dragging him out of the room.

“NO! NO!” He screamed as his view of Hinata, his Hinata, grew smaller and smaller.

Then he was forced outside of the room and the door was slammed in his face. Before he even fully realized what was happening, he lost sight of his best friend completely. He pounded desperately on the door, roughly shaking the doorknob and trying to pry it open.

“HINATA CAN YOU HEAR ME? PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE,” Kageyama cried and fell to the floor, slamming his head into the door. Someone was trying to say something to him, but his ears barely registered the noise. Whatever it was, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Nothing mattered but the boy in the hospital room who lay dying.

_ Nothing else matters at all.  _

__ Kageyama couldn’t stop it anymore. He screamed again, the tears he had been holding back falling freely now. He was hunched over, back arched, head still pressed hard against the door. His entire body heaved with sobs, and he buried his face in his hands, trying as hard as he could to physically press his last image of the boy he cared so deeply about into his memory.

It was quiet. Too quiet. Nothing but a distant hum in the back of Kageyama’s mind. The world around him had been slapped with a monochrome filter, the mute button pressed. Everything slightly blurred, and the corners of his vision were overtaken by shadows. The darkness loomed as if taunting him. 

_ You couldn’t save him. This is what you deserve. _

_ No, _ Kageyama thought. Even the voice inside his head was hollow, with nothing in it but the slightest tinge of unchecked anger. He was vaguely aware of being pulled into an embrace, but what was happening in the real world was of no concern to him. His entire body was limp, nothing but an empty shell his conscience was occupying. 

“I couldn’t save him,” he mumbled, quoting the darkness in his head. It didn’t matter who heard, it didn’t matter who cared. The only person who mattered was gone. 

“Shhhhh, it’s not your fault,” he heard a voice say. He felt something wet fall onto his shoulder, and he pulled back and turned his head slightly to see Sugawara crying softly into his shoulder. His eyes were red and puffy, and his forehead was wrinkled immensely as if it was all he could do to not start screaming as well. 

“It is…” Kageyama whimpered, leaning back into the hug and clutching the back of Sugawara’s shirt as tight as he could. “There has to be more I could’ve done! I knew he was sick, I knew, and yet I couldn’t save him. I… I wanted to, I wanted to more than anything. So WHY?! WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO?!” 

“Kageyama, there’s nothing you could have done. It was… It was his time,” someone spoke, voice cracking halfway through the sentence. Kageyama lifted his head from Sugawara’s shirt to give Daichi a blank stare, eyes completely void of emotion. The captain met his gaze with an equally distant one, biting his lower lip slightly in a possible attempt to keep himself together. 

“It’s not… It’s not fair,” Kageyama muttered, finally out of energy from his emotional outbreaks. If everything was okay, Kageyama never would have made such a stupid statement. But nothing was okay. Nothing was ever going to be okay again. “Hinata…” He whispered.

Memories flooded in before he could stop them. The day they met, all those years ago. Back when Kageyama had been nothing. Nothing but an unruly dictator with a mind only for himself. Hinata had been his complete opposite, with his dreams of having a team full of people he could work with. Kageyama hadn’t thought much of their match that day. But then they ended up at the same school. They were made to work together, and they became greater than either of them could ever imagine. They were supposed to be an unstoppable force, Karasuno's unbeatable weapon.

So why did it have to end like this…? 

Sitting there in that hallway, Kageyama was forced to admit it: Hinata had become the light in his life. Every easy smile, every successful spike, every dumb comment. 

Hinata gave him a purpose, convinced him that he was worth it, and gave him a reason to wake up in the morning. All their dumb challenges, constant competitions, and trips to the tree. The races, the practices, the texts. Hinata gave Kageyama a reason to try harder. A reason to keep going. He made Kageyama realize he wasn’t who everyone thought he was, and that he could change. Hinata forced him to improve himself, both as an athlete and a person. He forced him to grow like never before. Thanks to Hinata, Kageyama learned how to like himself. 

As much as the setter would have hated to admit it awhile ago, he cherished every moment with the small teenager. 

And now there would never be any more. 

There would never be another quick attack.

They would never race to school again. 

He would never hear the high pitched voice that he grew to love exclaim over something only he found exciting. 

He would never see the bright pile of ginger hair racing towards him, arms swinging, ranting excitedly about his newest thought or idea.

They would never have another conversation under the tree. 

Kageyama didn’t want to admit that he had never fully given up hope. He had never quite given up the hope that Hinata would miraculously recover, and that things would go back to normal.

He never thought the world could be so cruel.

He never believed that he would actually lose the sun. 

Kageyama’s world had been painted over in a layer of grey, missing the sunshine that Hinata provided. There, on the cold tiles of the hospital hallway floor, Kageyama finally admitted to himself something that he had never dared to. 

_ I love him. _

The thought made him freeze.

_ I… Love… Hinata? _

__ There was no way. 

_ I don’t see him in that way, right? _

But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that… He did. 

The warmth that crept up the back of his neck when Hinata smiled at him.

The elation when they looked into each other's eyes. 

The warm sensation in his palm when they high-fived after a successful attack.

The jealousy he felt whenever anyone else got too close to him. 

How hot he would feel when Hinata praised him.

The way his heart skipped a beat whenever they made contact. 

How much he felt at home when he was with him.

_ How much he feels like home.  _

__ The signs were all there. 

_ Oh god- how did I not realize? _ Kageyama buried his face even deeper into Sugawara’s shirt. The world faded even further into the background as he processed this new revelation. He was in love with his best friend. 

His best friend who was now  _ gone.  _

He scrunched his face up, trying to forget. Trying desperately to escape the regret that was sneaking up on him.  _ Why didn’t I realize sooner? _

__ Suddenly the door that Sugawara and Kageyama were sitting in front of opened, and Kageyama looked up to see Hinata’s mother step out of the room. 

She looked at the three kids in the hallway and shook her head, confirming what Kageyama already knew. 

Hinata was dead.

Kageyama shakily brushed off the Sugawara and stood up, clinging onto the door frame. Thankfully, neither of the third years made a move to stop him. 

Maybe they knew they wouldn’t have been able to anyway.

Kageyama knew what he was going to find inside the room, but he still wasn’t prepared for it. He stepped forward numbly until the body of his best friend came completely into view. 

Hinata felt so… Unrecognizable. 

His usual fluffy ginger hair was still there, but it lost its shine. His eyes were still wide open, but this time they were completely blank. 

Hollow. 

Lifeless. 

He was no longer struggling to breathe. 

He laid there still, almost peacefully. Kageyama felt like he wasn't looking at Hinata at all. This was an impostor, a fake. 

The body wasn’t actually Hinata. 

The body was just that- a body. A place once owned by a positive young boy.

A boy who brought joy into so many people’s lives.

A boy who was encouraging, reckless, and energetic. 

A boy with dreams, goals, and ambitions that he had never achieved or reached. 

A boy who deserved so much more than he received.

_ A boy that I loved. _

Kageyama bent down and gently kissed Hinata’s forehead for the first- and last- time. Then he stepped back, took a deep breath, and turned towards the exit. Tears had begun to silently fall down his cheeks once again, but he didn’t bother wiping them away. 

He took one step towards the door, then another. Only once he was in the doorway did he turn back to look at the body of his best friend one final time, before he stepped out and shut the door, sealing his world into what felt like eternal darkness.

“Goodbye.”

\-------------------

Kageyama lost all his memories of what happened after that. He passed out shortly after, too emotionally exhausted to care about what happened next. 

When he finally woke up again, he was in a bed that he didn’t recognize. It was probably supposed to scare him, waking up in an unknown place. But he wasn't, not even slightly. 

If he cared about his well-being, he would get up and try and figure out where he was. But he didn’t. He just stayed in that strange bed, hoping that if he kept his eyes shut for long enough it would turn out that everything was just a dream.

_ If I close my eyes for long enough, maybe Hinata will come back. _

__ Of course, a cruel world doesn’t listen to the requests of its inhabitants. 

After some time that could have been a few minutes, or could have been a few days, Kageyama began to pick up little clues as to where he was. He could hear Daichi’s voice in the background occasionally, and someone kept entering the room he was staying in and leaving food beside his bed. Eventually, Kageyama recognized that person to be Sugawara.

However it made no difference. Even after Sugawara had sat down and explained that Kageyama had been staying at his house for the past day, the teenager completely ignored him. He pretended that he couldn’t hear the words of the third year. 

Even when his mother came to pick him up that evening, he pretended he couldn’t hear anything she was saying. Because nothing that anyone else had to say mattered. Not when Hinata wasn’t around to hear it. 

The second he got home he retreated into his room. He didn’t bother to shut the door, just curled up in his bed. 

The world was still dark. It probably always would be. Kageyama had accepted that. 

He didn’t cry anymore. He wasn’t sure he knew how to, and there was no point. But the pain in his chest that crept into his neck wouldn’t go away. It was like a constant, dull ache.

But he didn’t mind. He probably deserved it. Because why should he be okay when Hinata was gone?

_ I shouldn’t.  _ So he remained in his room, barely bothering to move. He ignored every gesture his mother made, trying to get him to eat, take a shower, or even change his clothes. He ignored everyone who stopped by, even Sugawara and Daichi, who had sat with him for a few hours before leaving him alone once again.

His phone was constantly ringing, but Kageyama was too exhausted to pick up or turn the ringer off. So he just stared at the small, vibrating device until it went still again.

He kept up this pattern for another unknown amount of time. Kageyama wasn’t sure what his intentions were. He wasn’t trying to die, but he didn’t care if he did.

Virtually nothing mattered anymore. 

What finally broke the spell that Kageyama had put himself under was a small slip of paper that his mother slipped into his hand firmly. 

“Let me know if you want to go, and I’ll take you.” She said before leaving the room. Kageyama wasn’t going to read it, but his tiny bit of curiosity got the better of him. He blinked a couple of times, his eyes already adjusted to the total darkness. 

There were only a few words scrawled across the paper, but Kageyama understood what it was right away.

_ Details for the funeral.  _

He scanned the paper, his tired brain trying to take in all of the information. He picked up his phone and checked the date. 

_ Oh. It’s tomorrow. _

It had been over a week since Hinata had left, but to Kageyama, it felt like a lifetime. He didn’t think about the funeral, and he wasn’t sure whether he was going to go or not. 

_ There’s not really a point, is there? Why should I go. Why should it matter. _

__ But an image surfaced in his brain. Their last night under the tree. They way the breeze had shook the sick boy to his core, Hinata’s tear stained cheeks, just how.... Beautiful Hinata had looked in the moonlight.

_ Beautiful.  _

Hinata was beautiful. 

Kageyama just wished he had realized it sooner. 

He hadn’t planned on going to the funeral. But Hinata’s soft voice came into his mind, thanking him for everything that he had done. 

_ Maybe… I can do this one last thing… For him. _

__ So the next day, Kageyama pulled himself out of bed. All the blood rushed to his head and he had to fight to not pass out, but he recovered after a few seconds. 

He was going to do this.

_ For Hinata.  _

He pulled on the first funeral-appropriate attire that he owned. He didn’t have anything specifically set for funerals, as he had only gone to one other in his life. His clothes from that were too small for him now, and he wouldn’t want to wear them anyway. 

He didn’t bother showering, just the thought of doing so made his legs feel weak. So he simply washed off with a small cloth so he looked somewhat presentable, and ran a comb through his hair once again. He didn't bother to look in the mirror before he left the room. 

His mother was silent as he walked out, almost as if she was too afraid of scaring him back into his room. She didn’t need to be however, he was set on attending the event.

The car ride there was completely silent, except for the small banana that Kageyama was slowly chewing, trying not to be sick. He didn’t feel ready to eat. But he knew that if he was going to get through this, he needed some of his physical strength back. 

They arrived quicker than Kageyama would have liked. He knew he had shut everyone out, and he wasn’t ready to face the consequences of that. But he had made a promise, to himself, and Hinata. 

He was greeted as soon as he entered the building with an excited shout from Nishinoya. 

“Guys, look Kageyama is here!” 

“Hey,” he rasped, his voice low from lack of use. 

“Glad you could make it,” Daichi stepped up and greeting the teenager warmly. As Kageyama looked around, he saw that the entire team was there. Nishinoya, Daichi, Takeda, Sugawara, and Coach Ukai stood near the entrance, greeting the people who arrived. Kiyoko and Yachi stood over by a small beverage stand, drinking something out of small plastic cups as they chatted. 

It took Kageyama a couple of seconds to spot Yamaguchi, who was standing to the very right of the room, talking to Hinata’s mother. Even Tsukishima stood behind him, much to Kageyama’s surprise.

As he continued to look around, he saw Tanaka standing off by himself, looking lost. Kinoshita and Narita were sitting in some of the seats that were scattered around, and Ennoshita and Asahi were sitting on the floor, their backs pressed up against a wall on the right side of the room, holding cups of their own.

Everyone looked... peaceful. The sight of it caused anger to rise in the back of Kageyama’s throat, but he tried to force it down. It wasn’t their fault. This was probably what Hinata would have wanted. 

But still, it felt wrong for the team to be together without their number ten.

Eventually more people began to show up. Bokuto and Akaashi, Kuroo, and Kenma came with a couple of members of their team, even Aone from Date Tech showed up. 

Soon enough, the presentations and speeches started. Everyone took their seats, though, by that point, Kageyama had stopped noticing the things going on around him. He watched as person after person stood up to give their regards to Hinata. Takeda, Sugawara, even Kenma at one point stood up and said a few words.

There were only a few words that Kageyama picked up, as they kept getting repeated over and over again:

“Bright.”

“Kind.”

“Amazing.”

“An inspiration.” 

With each phrase, Kageyama noticed the sobs around him growing louder. But he hardly paid attention to any of it. The setter sat there, stone-faced, unable to react.

When asked if there was anything he wanted to say, he shook his head.

Before long, the procession was over. 

Kageyama was asked if he was going to the burial, to which he shook his head once again. No, he wasn’t going to go. He wasn’t going to watch as the boy of the boy he loved was lowered into the ground, never to be seen again. 

He wasn’t going to do it. 

So he said goodbye to everyone, intent on heading back to his room. He had done what he had planned to do. 

There was nothing left. 

“Wait!” A voice called out, just as he was about to leave. Kageyama turned around to see Hinata’s mother holding a small scrap of paper. Natsu trailed behind her mom, eyes red. 

Kageyama grabbed it and nodded his thanks. He wasn’t sure what was on the paper, and he debated just tossing it out without figuring out what it had to say. 

But something about the desperation that had been in the woman’s voice as she handed it to him told him to keep it. 

Once he was safely outside and away from the questioning eyes of everyone else, he unfolded the scrap of paper and inspected it. It was almost blank, with two simple words written on it hastily. 

_ Go there. _

__ His mother told him to call her when he was ready to be picked up, but he decided to follow the instructions on the note on his own. He knew that Hinata had written it, and he knew exactly what it had meant. 

So he began to make his way to his destination, uncertain as to what he was expecting. All he knew was that Hinata wanted him to go, and that was incentive enough. 

It took him longer than usual to get to the tree thanks to his weakened state. He had to frequently rest so he didn’t pass out, but he made it there nevertheless. 

There was nothing at the base of the hill, so he began to climb it, using all of his willpower to not just race to the top. But he made it soon enough.

It didn’t take long for him to spot the reason Hinata had sent him back to the place. At the very base of the tree trunk sat a small package, with an envelope on top of it. Kageyama quickly rushed over and grabbed it. 

The letters that were written on the top of the envelope were shaky, but Kageyama could still distinctly make out that it was addressed to him. 

He gently opened the envelope, trying to avoid ripping the last piece of Hinata that he may ever receive. 

Out fell a letter, folded gently. Kageyama grabbed it, hands shaking slightly. 

He could feel his heartbeat picking up once again. Without thinking twice, he unfolded the note and began to read. 

_ “Hey Kageyama! If you’re reading this then everything probably went according to plan, you’ll have to give my thanks to my mother and Takeda-Sensei. They helped a lot with getting this here, and I’m grateful. _

_ Anyway, knowing who you are you’re probably not doing so well right now, and… I get that. I don’t blame you. You’ve never been good at dealing with strong emotions which is something that I both appreciated and resented. On one hand, you never sugar-coated things which was nice. But on the other, I never fully knew what you were thinking, which is strange to me.” _

“I guess he really was paying attention,” Kageyama whispered.

_ “So uh… You may be wondering when and why I wrote this. Well to answer the first question, do you remember the last night that we spent under the tree? Well, as I’m writing this, it’s that night. You actually just left a little while ago. But… I know I’m getting worse. I’m certain that was my last time going. I’m never going to see the gym again, I’m never going to laugh in the club room again, and I’m never going to play volleyball with you under the shade of the tree again. I’ve had to accept that.” _

_ Where is he going with this?  _ Kageyama continued to read, confused. 

_ “But I don’t want this to be sad. I was too weak to say everything I wanted to say tonight, and so I’m writing it down so at least you know. I want you to know how grateful I am for everything. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how happy I am that I met you all that time ago. How happy I am that I got the chance to play against you, and with you. I want to thank you for keeping me going, for keeping me motivated, for reminding me to never give up my hope.” _

_ You did all of that for me dumbass, don’t thank me for it. _ Kageyama’s hands began to shake again. Hinata had done so much for him. Yet Hinata was the one saying thank you.

_ “Thanks to you, my last few months weren’t as miserable as they could have been. Even though I lost the thing I truly lived for… You reminded me that there was more to life than just volleyball. That even though I couldn’t play anymore, there were still things in this world that were worth living for. You spent so much of your time with me, even though I could tell you didn’t like being at the hospital at first. I never did figure out what you hated so much about it. Oh well, I guess it’s too late now.” _

__ The last sentence of the paragraph felt like a shot through Kageyama’s chest, and he had to pause for a second to collect his breath. 

_ “Anyway, I’m once again going off-topic. Typical of me, huh? I guess I just wanted to give you this final part of me. I know I wasn’t in your life for that long. I would have loved to have stayed longer but… I guess the world didn’t allow that. Still, the months I did spend with you were special. You… Made me happy. You, and your annoying, jerky, domineering personality. You made me feel safe. I don’t want you to have any regrets. I don’t want you to regret meeting me, I don’t want you to regret playing with me, I don’t want you to regret knowing me. I don’t want you to regret it all. Please… Don’t regret it.” _

__ “I could never,” Kageyama whispered, feeling completely alone. His world still hadn’t gained back any of the color it was missing. The color Hinata brought.  _ How could I ever regret knowing someone like you? _

_ “Anyway, I hardly have any strength left, so I should probably wrap this up. Knowing you, I know you miss me. If I’m able to think wherever I’m going next, I’ll probably miss you too.  _

_ Now, I said the point of this letter was to thank you. And well… That was partly true. I’m going to say something that I don’t think I ever could have said to your face. Maybe you’ll hate me for it, I don’t know. But… I know I’m never going to be able to rest if I don’t let you know. And so… _

_ I love you.” _

__ “Wha…” Kageyama exhaled the breath he had been holding as the world began to spin around him. He didn’t even realize he was crying until a tear fell on the paper, smudging the ink slightly.

_ No way. There was no way. _

He desperately tried to wipe off the note, afraid of ruining it. 

_ He… Loves me back? _

_ “I know I’m not going to be around to get your response. Maybe saying that made you regret meeting me. I don’t know. But it’s true. I don’t remember the exact day that I realized it but… I’m in love with you. You make my life better. I don’t ever want to lose you.” _

__ Kageyama had to set the note down as his entire body shook with sobs. Hinata loved him. Hinata… Actually loved someone like him. Hinata had enjoyed being around him. 

“So why did you leave…” Kageyama choked as he tried to regain his breath. He picked up the letter again, forcing himself to go on. 

_ “I’m sorry for springing this on you. I just… Needed you to know. Anyway, I can hardly write anymore. I hope you’re doing okay. If I could have one last request… Don’t give up on life. If there’s one thing you’ve taught me, it’s that even when you lose something great, there could still be something good right around the corner. So please, keep going. Keep playing volleyball. Keep in touch with as many people as possible. Win as many competitions as you can, and keep your head held high like the king of the court that you are. Find someone else to love. Live life to the fullest, because I can’t anymore. So please… Do it for me.  _

_ Thank you Kageyama, thank you for everything. Thank you for making my life the best it could be, I’ll never forget you.  _

_ I love you.  _

_ Sincerely,  _

_ Shouyou Hinata :) _

__ Kageyama felt numb. He stared at the letter for a while longer, trying to press the words into his brain. Hinata’s last words to him. He kept re reading the one line over and over.

_ “I love you.” _

__ He was too overwhelmed to process what he thought about it. There were so many emotions that he had been trying to tuck away for so long, all trying to force their way out. Kageyama gently set down the letter in the grass and picked up the package, already having a good guess as to what it contained. 

As soon as he opened the box he found out he was right. The small night light was tucked neatly into the box with another notecard that simply read “thank you, this helped.”

Kageyama clutched the object to his chest, scooting up against the tree. He finally allowed himself to let go of his emotions and cry out, cry out for everything that happened, for everything that he had lost.

He didn’t know how long he sat under the shade of the tree, sobbing. The sun had already begun to dip by the time he was completely cried out, his eyes too dry to release any more tears.

Despite the pain in his chest, the tear stains on his cheeks, and the darkness that had begun to grow signaling that the night had arrived, Kageyama clutched the small night light in the shape of the sun to his heart. 

Despite how lonely he felt, despite the long day, despite how much the world seemed to hurt,

Despite everything that had happened,

as Kageyama pressed the sun close to himself, he felt the smallest bit of light crack it’s way through.

It felt as though Hinata was still there, reminding him once again that it wasn’t over yet.

“I won’t give up,” he promised out loud, hoping Hinata could hear him. “I won’t give up for you.”

\---------------

“Try positioning your hands more like this,” Kageyama instructed, lifting his own hands for demonstration. “That way when the ball lands in your hands, you’ll have more control over where it goes. The kid he was talking to nodded before running off to go back to practice.

It had been four years since Hinata had gone. Kageyama still remembered his dumb face every day, but he didn’t mind. It had taken a long time for him to even begin the recovery process, but with the help of his team, he had eventually made it to the other side.

Kageyama had stopped playing volleyball for nearly half a year after Hinata had passed. He couldn’t bring himself to step out onto the court without his best friend. But eventually, he realized that wasn’t what Hinata had wanted. Plus, Kageyama had missed volleyball. It was a crucial part of his identity, and one he wasn’t sure how he had given up. 

Ennoshita, who had become the team captain after the third years graduated, had welcomed him back with open arms. 

The team never quite regained the level of skill that they once had. In fact, Karasuno never made it back to Nationals, at least while Kageyama was still there. Before everything, Kageyama never would have imagined  _ not _ going to play professionally. But when faced with the decision two years ago, he didn’t feel ready. 

Which is exactly how he found himself running a training program for a bunch of children. While he was never the biggest fan of kids, something about these made him happy. They shared his love for volleyball, which made Kageyama feel at home. It was the perfect way to still have volleyball in his life. 

It had taken a long time, but the color slowly began to come back into Kageyama’s life. He would never forget Hinata, but he had slowly begun to move on. He knew his best friend wouldn’t want Kageyama to cling to him forever.

However, Kageyama flashed a glance to the side of the room, really questioning if he was ready. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but he wasn’t sure about it now. 

_ No, I’m ready. He needs it more than I do. _

Kageyama kept repeating those words to himself for the rest of practice, trying to prepare himself. Soon enough, the moment came. He had said goodbye to most of the children until the only one remained. 

“Coach Kageyama?” The boy asked, his voice small. “You said you had something that you wanted to give me?” Kageyama turned away from the boy, nodding. 

As soon as he had begun to coach volleyball, this one kid stood out to him. It wasn’t just because of his overwhelming talent, however. Though he was incredibly skilled for someone his age, Kageyama had really noted the way he treated his teammates. The boy was quick, snappy, and hard on them. Overall he reminded Kageyama a lot of himself when he was younger. 

After his grandfather had died, and before Hinata had come into his life, Kageyama didn't have anyone there for him. He never had anyone to open up to or rely on. He didn’t want to let the kid fall into the same fate. 

So Kageyama had pulled this student aside, and slowly, very slowly, he had gotten the child to open up. About how alone he felt, and about how scared he was when he was by himself. And Kageyama had come up with a plan. Yesterday he had told the student to wait for him after practice because he had a present for him. 

Kageyama quickly jogged over to his stuff, picking up the small box. He instantly noticed the object rattle inside. The second he did, he felt more certain of his decision. It was time.

Time to let go. 

“Here,” he handed the child the box, giving it one last longing look. “This helped me through a lot. It reminded me that even if I felt like it, I was never fully alone. That even if the world completely loses color, there’s still hope for the future, and things aren’t going to be dark forever. It’s done a lot for me so… Take care of it, alright?”

He watched as the kid opened the box, and pulled out the night light. “Whoa, what do I do with it?” 

“Plug it in when you get home,” Kageyama instructed. “I promise it’ll help.”

“Thank you, coach!” Kageyama felt immense joy rise inside him as the kid grinned. It was the first time the student had ever smiled in front of him, and it just reassured Kageyama that he had made the right decision. 

He watched as the kid left the gym, practically giddy with excitement. He didn’t want to let go of something so important to him. Something that had reminded him of both his grandfather and the boy that he loved. But he knew it was time. He would never forget them, how could he?

Hinata had changed his life. Kageyama knew that. He would never be able to forget his number ten, his middle blocker, the first person to accept the dark-haired setter for who he was. But while Kageyama knew he could never forget, he also knew that he couldn’t let Hinata hold him back. His best friend had told him to live his life to the fullest, and he intended to do so. 

So he was moving on. Hinata would always be a part of him, but now maybe his spirit could bring light into someone else’s life too. 

Kageyama wasn’t sure he would ever fall in love again. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to. He wanted the first boy he ever loved to always have that place in his heart. 

It had taken him such a long time to accept that Hinata wasn't around anymore. But even though the person he cared so much about wasn’t physically there, the setter could still see him. He could see his best friend's spirit, his morals, his smile, his excitement. Kageyama saw the middle blocker in the way he spoke, he saw him in his student’s awful receives. He even saw him in the way one of his students landed after every spike, with the graceful elegance that Hinata had lacked everywhere else in life. 

Hinata’s legacy lived on. He would never be forgotten, even if everyone let go. 

Because that’s just what the sun did, right?

Even when it went away, it was never truly gone.

Kageyama used to doubt that fact. Back when he thought Hinata had left him all alone, he used to think that he was lied to. That the sun really did abandon the world, encasing it in complete darkness. 

Eventually, he came to realize that he was the one that was wrong.

Even when the world went completely dark, even when it seemed like hope had completely vanished, there really would always be a little bit of light waiting just around the corner.

Hinata hadn’t abandoned him. Kageyama knew that now.

Because that’s just what the sun did. 

It would always last for an eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, do you hate me yet?? I hope you do, because I don't want to be the only one sad over this.  
> If you made it this far, I cannot thank you enough. This was originally a 2,000 one shot that I wrote at two in the morning, sleep deprived. But waking up the next day I decided that I wanted it to be something more.  
> So I've worked as hard as I could over the past three months to present this to you. I really hope you liked it, because I'm proud of myself for not giving up on it. It's been a wild ride, full of so many late nights, abandonment of other projects, and the abandonment of most of my sanity. But I'm glad I finished it.  
> If even one person enjoyed it, then I'm glad that I wrote it.  
> Anyway, I will probably be making a lot of content related to this fan fiction, so if you're interested in that at all, here are my accounts!:
> 
> \- TikTok: Eliza_Kat  
> \- Instagram: Elizakat_ (Art account: Elizakat_art)
> 
> Also, here's a link to a spotify playlist inspired by this piece that will probably be updated fairly regularly: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/63Noj4KL4P3Nv7cWK5Hunj?si=jR3dKhVSR2mGSvWE02aeDg
> 
> If you want to yell at me over Instagram, my DM's are open :)
> 
> Once again, thank you for your time, I appreciate you more than you could ever know. Let me know your thoughts!! I'd love to interact with you!!
> 
> Have a lovely day, until we meet again with my next project.
> 
> Sincerely, Eliza_Katt :)


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